"You're just a fuddy-duddy single person!" -LesDon't get me wrong, my Christmas was fabulous, I got almost everything I asked for, which was fabulous! I could inventory it for y'all, but I'm sure you don't care. Anyway, suffice it to say that things were lovely until I had to deal with the relatives again.
It was the same two that nag me about being boyfriendless, Les and Uncle Bruce. Tag teaming practically. Bringing IT into the conversation at any opportunity, much like I slip my latest flavor-of-the-month into conversations whenever I can. When I do it it means obsession...oh great, they're obsessed with my getting a man. Bleeech!
Example #1: They had almost every light in the friggin house off- which I hate. I'm not a fan of "romantic lighting"- bumping into stuff ain't romantic, I'm sorry. Anyway, I'm trying to read a book, and Les bugs me to turn a light on. (Hey, it's YOUR house, why don't YOU do it, I thought.) Just to be perverse, I say no. This gets into a minor fight, and then he says that if I had a boyfriend this wouldn't be happening and calls me a "fuddy-duddy single person."
What the hell???
"What does that have to do with anything? A boyfriend would make me turn a light on?"
"No, then you'd want the lights off."
I repeat: What the hell???
Example #2: Uncle Bruce asks what I got for Christmas and did I like it.
"Yeah, I got a lot of tapes, books, CD's..."
"Well, you'll forget all about those things when you get a diamond ring for Christmas from some guy."
"What!? No, not happening."
"You gotta get a boyfriend. It happens to all of us. Look at Tammy and Les, me and your aunt...(etc, etc)"
"Uh, no, it DOESN'T."
"Well, you gotta wait and he'll come along, and you won't know what to say about it, it'll be a surprise."
"I don't wanna 'just wait', I don't think it's going to happen."
He doesn't agree. Trying to shut this up, I say, "Actually, I figure I'll end up like Janelle and Ron, wind up taking a long time for that stuff."
He then claims that they hit the age where the hormones kick in and they want babies.
"Babies? I can't even remember to feed the pets. If I hadn't lived with them (Mom and Dad) they would have starved."
"Well, keep that in mind when that time comes then."
* Yes, I do have a boyfriend and he's vibrating in my purse.
* What do I know- I'm just a kid.
* Thou shalt not commit adulthood.
* People wouldn't fall in love if it were more clearly marked.
* It's not easy being a princess, but somebody's got to do it.
* Your concern for my happiness is really starting to piss me off.
I enjoyed being the spoiled brat child tonight, refusing to get off the couch and get my own dessert. Had Mom feed me off hers as the rest of 'em ragged on me for laziness. But hell, Les became my enabler in laziness, bringing me cookies.
"Told ya I don't wanna grow up," I said a lot. Yes, I AM a child, rubbed that in good, didn't I? (Can y'all see me dating an adult now? Much less more than once? Ha!)
Between me and Justin the spoiled baby (him and Auntie Dolores are just like me and my grandma), I started wondering about the nature of being spoiled- what makes you so special that everyone does all this stuff for your lazy ass? Voluntarily? It's not as if Justin or I did anything for them other than smiled/looked cute. He's a baby, I'm a girl might have something to do with that, but really... It's my suspicion that babies look cute as a biological thing to entice the parents to want to take care of it instead of leaving the wailing thing for the lions. Tammy admitted that Justin gets out of trouble sometimes if he looks at 'em cutely.
Sheesh.
A remark I made to Mom tonight when we got home:
"Almost all of 'em were married by my age, and I can't even DO most stuff (like drive)." How pathetic am I for not being an adult? For not WANTING to be an adult? What's good about being an adult anyway?
And finally, something completely off topic- we noticed that Justin's talking Teletubby is obscene. It's supposed to say something like "Practice, practice-" but comes out like (pardon my language) "F----- (bad word for gay, repeated five more times), bite my butt."
Just thought I'd warn the public.
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