I grew up, for the most part on a farm near Longmont, CO; the youngest of four children. I went to a private school in Longmont, loved it because there were social interaction, and hated it because I was a nerd.

I then when to Regis Jesuit High School (I'm not Catholic, I'm Jesuit), met Shawn Swenson, Jeff Mrochek, Chris Floyd, and Kevin Simmons, the Core of the Shadow Commonwealth, and My lifelong friends.  During High School, I begin playing a game called Amtgard. My senior year, I met Jenny Libby, my first love. We lasted through two years, but ultimately our paths diverged. Regis is a very competitive school and due to my lack of emphasis on grades, I only managed to graduate in the top third of my class.

I went on to Regis University on a Natural Sciences Scholarship in Mathematics. There I met Joe Zemek (my roommate for 5.5 years), Kat Brown (a friend whom I  miss), and Tim Sperlak (my brother-in-law). We did a lot of theater together, with my brother, Mark, and sister, Roberta. We organized RUPAC with two other people from Regis High, Bill Mrochek and Scott O'Bryan. We went through a lot, cried, experimented, talked to spirits, supported each other through emotional crisis, and lived. At the end of the second year I was there, Kat and I had a falling out. I had also been in a stormy relationship with a EMT from the college, and had burned out on theater. So I left Regis.

I worked for a rock wall construction company, and after many days of loading tons of rock by hand, I developed the bear like stature I have now. While on at an Amtgard game, I tore my ACL in my right knee. I had been fighting, and stumbled down a hill. I saw in my path another Amtgarder. She was laying on her back, and doing some quick calculations, I determined that I would step on her neck and chest. I weighed about 190 pounds, and not wanting to kill a friend, I jumped. The rest is my knee's history.

Unable to work after the surgery, I recovered at my parent's house. I then started to get to know Karen Ponikiski through letter writing. We became friends, then when I moved back out on my own (back with Joe in our first apt after the dorms), we became more.

When her financial aide from Gonzaga fell through, she moved back to Denver and eventually, Joe and Karen and I moved into a new apartment. At this time, I was attending UCD as were my roommates. This is the time of the War described in the Knight's story. These events were very strange, but true and best understood from the eyes of a spiritual creature.

Karen and I suffered during that war. We fell apart.

The next fall, 1996, I met a woman at school who helped me to heal. That woman was Jennifer Stevens, and is now my wife. We became close friends very quickly. She awakened the knight's sleeping spirit. That healing bound me to her, in some ways more than I was bound to Karen. This was not what I wanted. Karen was my love, and I decided to sever the ties between Jen and I. I vowed never to speak to her again, to protect Karen and I.

It did not work.

Karen and I tried very nobly for a year, but we failed. After terrible pain, and a horrible period when Karen father had a stroke (I did not know how to comfort her, I botched) we broke off our relationship. I don't think either of us wanted to loose our friendship as well, but I made a bad decision. 

I thought that the best and quickest way for Karen to heal would be complete separation from me. I was wrong. My choice only caused more pain and rifts through my group of friends. I still try for heal them.

I felt that I owed Jen an apology, I wanted forgiveness and for her to understand that I know the pain I put her through, and that I accept the blame and burden for this. But we met, and she forgave me, was still my friend. I had abandoned her, and she was still my friend.

I vowed to be worthy of her, to never abandon her or another friend again.

Our commitment to each other of course lead to our dating and engagement.

I have learned much about spirits, pain, love, and friendship over these years.  I hope that my experience can help others. This is what leads me to the future.

I became the happy husband of Jennifer Stevens, a beautiful Italian woman, on January 16,1999. I love her dearly, and yes, she is also called Guenhwyver. 

On December 22nd, 1999, Jennifer and I received our son into the world. Michael Anthony was born at 9:13pm. He weighed 5 lbs. 15 oz. and was 19 1/2" long. That night was the winter solstice and full moon. It was the brightest full moon in the last 130 years.

This page is deticated to my friends, without whom I would be nothing. These friends helped to form my goals, but I'll get to those later.

I role-play, philosophize, and live in the hope of broadening my mind and soul. I hope to teach the world broader ways of thinking. That is why I got a degree in philosophy and why I want to build a Retreat center. I have the Shadow Commonwealth, lead by Shawn Swenson (mostly) to thank for these ideas and my love for friends like Jen (my wife), Kate, Joe, Jeff, Beemer, Floyd, Rose, Dion, Christi, Danielle, Kevin,  Neal, Karen, Mary, even  Sara.

For all the stories and people, friends that I left out, I remember you, and your stories will be told in time.

It is my hope that when people read this, they remember their dreams, the people who inspire them, and say a prayer for the world and the ones we love. 

I have many names. 
Anwaith the Farwanderer,
Ambrose the old man in the dark,
Santa of the Blades Band,
Barbarian with noble blood poisoning,
Lord of the House of the Black Phoenix,
Thief, satyr, sprite, "Knuckles", Elven Mystic. 
Shadowlord (We who walk in the shadow of the Earth),
Child of Icarus Rising.

Let us begin the tale.

The solution was simple, emotion was removed, intellect and will ruled everything. I engaged in pursuits noble with my peers, yet there was no passion. This time, though passionless, was not dead. I came into one of my names, Lord Anwaith, House of the Black Phoenix, Shadowlord. My fellow Shadowlords brought forth many ideas to which I still hold, compassion, expanded perception, acceptance, and leadership. 

Locked away in my self-made prison, I began to hear the calls of a female heart. The longing of companionship, the hope for true love, the call of the poet tormented me. I struck at the walls of the prison to no avail. I saw my first love. She inspired me to break free of my cell, but the process took two years.

The young heart, alas, falls into many pitfalls. My love was not true, inspired more by lust and passion than faith and the pure emotions. We ended ignobly, and I send her away with the same passion with which we loved.

I fled into the study of passion and magic. I began to harness the passion within me. I learned how to fight, how to conquer spirits, how to travel. I reveled in the power I had found. I also found pleasure in the company of women, and explored the nature of my heart. Finally, my noble heart brought me to a love which seemed true. We shared magic, and passion, and love. We embarked on a quest with kindred spirits to fight a war against an evil we did not know. This evil had and still has the power to rob people of their passion, to numb them against the world. 

The war began, and the six of us fought bravely, defended each other with everything that we knew, yet slowly, we fell.

The Man under Mountain, also called the NightHawk, was the first to understand the nature of our defeat and warn us against it, yet he was the first to fall to it.

I am unsure as to the story of the fall of the others of the six, whom we called Familee, only that we all fell into a deep sleep.  The Walker of Dawns and Twilights, the sister of the Merlin, whom I loved, fell ill. I found myself encased in armor of lead, joints fused, mind numbed, in winter.

Spring came. I could not find the sister of Merlin. The shell she had left behind was hateful and bitter. I bent the metal around me, and forced it to move. As I walked, pieces fell away. Perhaps, if you look closely, you can still see the flecks of metal in my skin.

After a time of wandering, waiting to see whether the shell of the Walker of Dawns and Twilights would heal, and she would return to it, and that we would love each other once again; I met a true friend. I now see that her sleek, black shadow has been with me through many years. But then, my eyes were young and forgot things.

My friend and companion helped me to shake off some of the armor which clung to me. Her name is Guenhwyvar, she is know to us. With her I re-learned some of the magic of my youth.

There came a time when I had to choose between the love of Guenhwyver and the love of Walker of Dawns and Twilights. The choice between love and companionship was not easy, and should never have been made. But good intentions can lead a noble man to the depths of hell.

For the sake of what I thought was true love, I sacrificed a true friend. The one who had been the sister of the Merlin could not accept this sacrifice, she did not understand it. Yet I stayed with her, to honor my word.

We decayed together. No poetic sentiment can cover that. We were dead and alive at the same time. And for the sake of life, we gave up the fight for honor. She and I left each others company with nothing but memories.

From that Hell, I set out to find the friend I had abandoned. In Hell, I found her and we left together. On the path to freedom, there were many temptations, some to which we succumbed.  But they have made me the man which stands before you.

Guenhwyver and I travel together and adventure together, she is my faith, support, and love. I am her friend, love, and hope.  We have not seen wars, but we have change lives. God grant us the strength to do more.

Since that time I have reflected much. I have learned some of the ways of God. I have reclaimed some of my soul from the darkness. 

I am on a mission to learn compassion, understanding, what some would call wisdom. This is where you find me. I seek to bring compassion to the world, and to redeem it. This is my story. 

Now that you know me, what would you have me called? 

I wait. 

Let it be known that I am Sir Anwaith, Hereditary Order of Light Dwarven Paladins.