Get Smooved Goth-Style
By Dark Shadows
Beloved, if there is any doubt in your mind as to what time it is, let me express in morbid utterance: the time is nigh for you to join my dark entity and get Smooved.
Now my pallid creature of the nyte, I know deep in my black soul that I have uttered words that have caused wrath deep in your bloody heart, but you must accept my eternal forgiveness. If only you will just come back to our pessimistic lair of cohabitation, I will mend your tattered velvet wounds. I will transport you to the depth of Shelley-ian passion. I will sex you tempestuously.
To amend all my asinine assertions, tomorrow night I will escort you to my forlorn castle of dreams, where I will prepare for you a romantic meal comprised of succulent lobster from the finest and most gothic sea there is. We will both eat the lobster and comment on all the pain and suffering that the lobster endured and compare it to our own pain and suffering. Then we will try to enjoy a side dish of rice, but the rice did not suffer and cannot be described with words like "darkest nyte of light," "in darkness my heart was won," or "fuck me and marry me young." Thus, we will not enjoy the rice as much. There will also be a baked potato waiting to fulfil your potato raptures, and some butter for you to place upon that potato. In addition, there will be sour cream, which you may also put on the potato if you so desire.
I will also serve juice.
Then, when we have consummated eating our feast, I will situate your deathlike corpse down on a bedsheet comprised of 100% silk (black, of course), which I will purchase from the finest over-priced gothic mail-order company there is. Then, just before we join our souls together as one, I will scrutinize as to how your anemic flesh feels against the silken material. If you inform me that you do not like it, I will search my other over-priced gothic merchandise catalogs until I locate a store that sells sheets that are more to your satisfaction. I will even buy extras so that you can make a lining for your velvet cape with them. Then, after the sheets arrive via FexEx or UPS, I will put them on the bed for you.
It is then that I will hit you gothic doggie style.
While our souls are joining as one, I will whisper sweet utterances in your ear. Some of the lyrical poetry I will articulate are, "Dark angel, you are my everything," "You feel so goth, I cannot stand it," and "Girl, ride me." There will also be candles and a CD featuring the music of Sisters of Mercy to create an atmosphere of unbridled romance, making you seem almost alive (rare for a vampire mistress such as yourself).
This is how you will get Smooved Goth-Style.
Just proclaim the command, and we will partake in interplanetary morbid love until the break of dawn, when we have to return to our coffins. We will sulk across the galaxy, looking bored and sorrowful with our passion. We will journey to places even the astronomers have never seen. We will bump to Pluto, where we will pass on our knowledge of proper eyeliner application, as well as to the moon.
When we are through with the carnal aspect of our romantic evening together, I will still continue to serve your every need, If you wish a grape to be placed in your mouth, I will place one there. It does not matter whether you want a purple grape or a white grape, as I will supply myself with grapes of both colours.
If you would like to be massaged with scented oils, I will appear behind you and do so. However, they could stain fabric, and it could ruin your new vinyl bustier. If you choose the massage, I will be sure to rub your neck and shoulders without reserve, neither rubbing so hard as to remind you of when you got that bat tattoo, nor so soft as to be ineffectual for massaging purposes.
Lucretia My Reflection, I covet throwing you on the floor right now and riding you hard.
To epitomize my emotions, I love you, and that fact is inscrutable. If you could only find it on your noir heart to forgive me for all the absurd things I did and said, we could take a gloomy voyage to New Orleans, riding in my caravan of love, a 1991 red Geo Metro covered in Bauhaus stickers. Just say the word and I will bloodlet you. I will Smoove you.
All nyte long.
this is a gothique version of GET SMOOVED: to read the original go here
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