Because Jerry Falwell hates us!

Jerry Falwell: Jerk, Dork and all-around Ignoramus

Beware the Tinky Winky

Jerry does fall well on his face, doesn't he?

Having succeeded in getting "Ellen" off the air but failing to get Bill Clinton out of the White House, the christian right has fallen back on what they do best: Gay bashing.

Jerry Falwell has decided that the Teletubbies must be evil because one has a triangle on it's head and carries a purse. Maybe someone should remind good 'ol Jerry there about the origins of the pink triangle.

Next up on Rush: Tinky Winky and Ernie: LSD and gay lust on democrat-supported PBS.

Less roads to Eden is a good thing

There is now an 18 month moratorium on road-building in National Parks. According to many a Republican, this is a bad thing. Despite the fact that our public roads are pothole-plagued, they want more roads so we can cut down more old wood and destroy more of our National Parks. Some of them are still bitching despite the fact that the perilous areas of Northern California (Holy Spotted Owl, Batman) and ALL of Alaska were exempted from this re-think of how we treat our National Parks. Hello? Hello? Is anyone awake? When was the last time you saw a "pristine area" with an RV rumbling along it?

Here's the Republican ideal of our National Parks and their version of a "pristine area": An RV parked, Dad BBQing store-bought (and hopefully, disease of the month-free) steaks, Mom hanging laundry out to dry and two kids scaring off the wildlife. On the way home, they pull over next to a bunch of Sport Utilities and see a moose from 10,000 feet away, take pictures of the oval-dot with horns, and go home with the ability to say they paid their $20 and were there.

I'll take parking my Camaro in a hotel lot, taking a tourist bus and hiking my way through Government provided trails over that scene any day. I might come across a moose, but there will be no over-madeup hag telling her husband "It's just a deer, George" standing next to me. Just me, the moose and the warm, squeaky sound of me shitting my pants.

That's the reason for the term "WILD-life", in contrast to those who believe that wildlife is deer and the damage "they" do on our roads.

Danny Quayle wants to be your presidente!

He wants to be your Christian-right dogma spitting, Patty Buchanon protectionist pouting, Ronnie Reagan-remembering and Nixon-neglecting president. The following came from Yahoo news:
Quayle said the United States should withdraw from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile treaty with the former Soviet Union and develop a missile defense system. He also called for renewed testing of nuclear weapons.

Yesindeedybob, let's make the playground safe for the bullys again and start up a nuclear show off, er, sorry, showdown with China! What a great idea! Instead of leading by deeds, let's start a new cold war with half the developing world! A gold star for Mr. Potatoe Head!

Is it any wonder that Y2K will be the year of the Bush for the pubs? Be it the Texas Bush or the softer side of Dole, these two bushes are holding the lead.

I think Lizzy's gonna hurt for Bob's Viagra commercials, though. If the first man can't get it up without drugs, how can Nancy Reagan-types "just say no" without causing a lesbian stink?

With all this friendly, happy bush and mean, "tough" quayle floating about, no wonder Al Gore is keeping his environmentalist nature. What better way to toe the middle line?

On a more serious note, Al Gore is a pretty good guy. He's done quiet wonders with, amazingly enough, turning legal "gobbledygook" into things we can understand using the basic business tools set by Denning, and made sure that our National Parks are going to be there (In a more rugged, but untouched setting than the way I saw them in the Reagan years) for our kids to enjoy.

Don't get me wrong, I was more than happy as a kid to run through the parking lot full of RV's to stand on the rail and do my Peter Brady impersonation of "Take a tape measure and jump" at the Grand Canyon, but I think a lot more people would've got a lot more enjoyment if the areas around it were more developed and the Grand Canyon itself were a bit more than a tourist trap. I got a taste, but the only way to really understand why a river running cutting through miles of desert sand is so damned wonderful is to hike down it and see the water at it's level and then look up. I have not been able to do that (and I stress)yet, but thanks to Al Gore and the environmentalist efforts over the past few years, I will still have the opportunity to do it without hiking past an RV sitting on a ledge.

It may not be pretty to be considered an environmentalist, but it sure is a lot more inspiring sitting in the middle of the woods with a good book than it is sitting in a bathtub with the same book and pine-scented bath bubbles.

I'm guilty of both pleasures, but at least in the bathtub, I have the excuse of letting my chinchilla loose for a run. In the woods, there is no absence of life, just the lack of a daily grind.

Having moved from Connecticut to Tennessee, I have seen the difference between "woods" and "forests". In the woods, I could hear the dogs of the people who's backyards bordered the water company property that might be sold or might be saved, but was currently luxurious enough to build $200,000 houses upon. In Tennessee, you hear distant noises: planes overhead, an odd train horn. It's ok to park next to the highway and go fishing. I have parked my car next to a highway that has a speed limit of 70, hiked for half an hour (when the highway noise was just loud enough to find my way back), read until the sun started to set and made it back to my car without being a bother to traffic, leaving anything but a bit of piss on a tree, or even getting a ticket for parking next to a major roadway. In Tennessee you can still do this without the law being a problem. Most of our country needs it's Natural Parks to enjoy the quiet comfort that nature, lacking vendors and parking lots, can provide.

Al Gore came from this kind of country. His wife is a full-of-her-holier-than-thou's-BS-bitch, but Al is, literally, a down to earth kind of guy. He's come up from the land to learn law and then politics. If he was single, I'd vote for him. But then again, knowing nothing about Lizzy Dole, I'd vote for her over giving Tipper Gore the title and power of First Lady.

Sandy Claws was good to me. I won't ramble on about the stuff I got, but let's just say I'm quite a bit more enriched for the holiday. The best highlight? Me, low-level, seasonal Disney cast member that I was, seeing "A Bugs Life" with my sister, a much higher ranking Disney cast member. For the first time in our lives, our professional paths have hit a crossroad and catching "Bug" together, I think, will be the kind of symbolic thing that we'll both remember. It's a simple thing, catching a movie with your sister, but under the right circumstances, it can stand for so much.

Now, onto the DC crapola:

Happy New Year! Maybe this year the people will have their say in America. Given the start of the new year, I somehow don't think that will happen. I see a stock market crash due to a poor transition of power over the next year or two. Boys and girls, make your voice known to those who govern us all or we'll all be fighting just to taste the rind of a lemon.

Blah blah, the House doesn't care if America wants Bill Clinton to be our president, blah blah blah... the senate doesn't care if America wants Bill Clinton to be our president blah blah... Impeach Washington. Fire them all. America has lauded itself on smooth transitions of power in the past, why do our representatives have to mire us all in the sludge of Kenny Starr's Republican death wish?

David Caruso + bleach - 10 years = Rick Schroder!

Man, what a difference Rick Schroder has made to NYPD Blue. His psuedo-Leo has chomped on every line and move he could, yet he still seems like an amatuer compared to Franz's "good cop/bad cop" routine. And do you know what? It works. The writing still needs to involve more cop work. I'd like to see a bit more Clapp & Turturro acting like cops again. "Law & Order" has set the standard for balance, but there's still room for a good cop show. I want to watch police doing their nitty gritty on the clock. I don't want to watch cops doing their diddly-dee off the clock. If I wanted to watch a soap, I'd record "General Hospital".
"NYPD Blue" is a better show this season, if not for the overly-soapish scripts, but for the same reason that has kept me tuning in whenever I could: Fantastic acting. Jimmy Smits and Rick Schroder have thrown the characters (if not the cast)into a needed upheaval. The cast, apart from Dennis Franz, is already over Jimmy... um... oh yeah Smits. The writers don't seem to know what to do with it, instead caring more about the people on the fringes. Hopefully Ricky's scenery chomping will add a few muscles to what is threatening to become a heavyweight show loaded with trivial crap.

Esther Rollins has left

Ain't we lucky to have to have had her?

I may be the only white boy who feels this way, but she was a calm amongst the storm for me. As a kid growing up in the '70's, I knew this show was "important", just as "Mash" and "All in the Family" were "important". The big difference was that this show made me laugh. As a kid, "All in the family" scared me because I didn't know why everyone was yelling. Same thing with MASH, but "Good Times", as well as "The Jeffersons" helped me to grow up colour blind and shaped my sense of humour. Whenever a race issue came up, I usually rolled my eyes, because it looked so forced to me. What can I say, I was a white kid living the then ideal suburban life: To this day, I can tell you the name of every black family living within a three block range back then. There were only 3. Most everything I saw and heard growing up was about white vs. black. "Good Times" was mostly just black, and when someone rallied, Florida seemed to be calm and reasonable. Maybe you could call her the "good slave", but to my young mind, she was the ideal of the truth that I have held to this day: A solid, strong idealism will rise above anything. Archie Bunker gave me nightmares, Esther Rolle sang me to sleep.

psst... wanna see a funeral?

Iraq has now made the death of children a bi-monthly rallying point for allowing it to become a UN-sanctioned, American-ignored safehaven for terrorism. In September, they held a public funeral for 27 infants, and now they've held a November death-a-thon for 50 kids to gather up the support of the locals (who lack any other info besides what Saddam says they can hear). Picture Dan Rather saying "Saddam Hussein, who blew up New York and forced us into an agreement, is now starving our children to death because we will not allow them to see how strong we are". Any human being mourning the passing of children due to restrictions placed upon them would be more likely to make sure that the reasons for those restrictions, agreements they'd signed, were no longer needed. They would create reasons for those agreements to stay in place. Let's bomb the shit out of him again.

Newt is no more... for the moment

If you think Newt is dead, let me give you the following quote: "America has a short-term memory". I won't argue it, but the fact that it came from Joe Scarborough during an 11.7.98 interview on NBC says enough. Newt will be back. Don't think that we've won. The Christian Right Wing has not given up; if anything, Newt's resignation shows the power of their reach.

Henry Hynde is only a temporary person for the press to focus their reader's anger on. Focus it where it belongs: Write your local, state and national reps to make sure that they know that you will not take this kind of nutshell shifting and that we will stay true in our beliefs: that Bill Clinton has been a good president, the Republicans have been lousy role models by using every loop-hole to destroy both a president and the stature of the presidency.

Wouldn't it be great if Newt's replacement is a true party-ignorant person? Wouldn't it be great if Newt's replacement is a gay-friendly, anti-bias, anti-impeachment, pro-choice, pro-health, pro-world leader status? Don't count on it. I seriously doubt that the 'pubs will give us someone who can honestly face the mid-east, the Irish, the British, the French, the Indians and whoever takes over Yeltsin's place. I think we'll get someone who plays well in America, damn the rest of the world. I think that we will be offered up another thorn in our President's side, not someone who can help this country remove the plank from our own eye.

I hope I'm wrong. I hope they offer up a person who is capable of pulling us together with the long term goal of holding us together as a country.

A note for pollsters: We don't care if Clinton committed perjury because we don't think it was right that he was called on to testify about who he screwed. We care about people lying under oath, and we care about sexual harrassment, but we do not care about party politics that subvert and destroy our form of government.

It's this simple: We want people who will tell us the truth about what we care about. The holocaust is still heavy on our mind, but what Hoover wore at parties is only a joke for people who are probing the limits of conversation. We want a solution for the genocide in the former Soviet Union that our politicians are ignoring, we want our internal political problems to just fucking end.

Carol Mosely Fraud, the most pathetic Democrat is gone, as is Al D'Bondo, a lively, but non-worthy member of our senate. This is the first time I have actually been surprised and pleased with election outcomes. My thanks to everyone who got off their asses and voted. Now you've really got to work, for in two years, we'll have to elect a new president, and I just don't want Tipper Gore that close to the thought police.

Now the Republicans are finally angry with people like Trent Lott for shoving their party directly towards their goals (Y'know, kinda like Pat Buchanon did back in '92) maybe we'll see some change. It's not a matter of right or left but rather Hate or Help. That's why we forgive Bill Clinton and yet still can't abide normal politics. If nary a candidate had mentioned the word "impeachment", I think the voters would've shown up in far smaller numbers and the results would've been different. If Ken Starr has done anything, he has galvanized the country against his cause and in doing so, helped people to realize that they could vote for individual candidates and not along party lines.

In other words, Homer & Marge Simpson realized they could vote for the candidate that thought like they did. They voted for whoever will help make Bart's future more hopeful and Lisa's future more solid, not to mention the fact that Maggie might not ever have to deal with a principal Skinner.

Why does this matter? Because just two months ago, the right wing was hell-bent on impeaching the president for screwing around on his wife based on a faulty report by a man who spent gobs of money trying to impeach the president on a bad land deal. People looked at who they were voting for and decided if they were just saying the company line or if they honestly cared about government. People viewed their vote as currency and spent it on issues, not parties. The final-week effort to lower people's mindset to Kenny Starr's fell on deaf ears: We don't care who he sleeps with if he is doing his job.

Before you read anything further on this page, take a moment for Matthew Shepard, a gay college student who was recently killed in the "freedom state" of Wyoming. The police have to label his death a "Robbery", despite the fact that the two guys who beat him and left him comatose and hanging on a fence are known homophobes who picked him up at a gay bar. That to me is not robbery of cash, but a robbery of life and pride. The fact that they took his money does not stop this from being a hate crime. Theft of cash only makes the crime more vulgar. Hate crimes are not on the books in Wyoming, so the police have now charged the scumbags with what they legally could: Murder.

Matthew Shepard was not, from everything I've read, a person trying to change the world's attitude. He just wanted to live his life and was killed for trying. Please click the picture below to see what you can do to stop this kind of crap from happening again.

This is the reason why I am out. This is the reason why I am so loud and in-your-face about my homosexuality. I don't want another Matthew Shepard. He is but another number in a long list of people beaten because of who they slept with, murdered not because they were political or aggressive, but because they were gay. I have yet to hear of a single anti-gay spouting church offering a reward to pay off the intolerance they have bred and encouraged, nor of a single priest offering to go to the killers and talk to them about the sin of intolerance.

My page will be here for quite some time to come. Matthew Shepard is already gone. Hit the above mentioned page and let it lead you to more open spaces. Use the links page to find some other places you can help make your voice count.

With a toot on the flute and a twiddle on the fiddle, let me begin my benign work...

Good news for late sleepers

"Leeza", the blandest, most patronizing sitcom, err sorry, talk show has finally been cancelled. She made Kathy Lee look positively protective of her kids, made all of her guests look like monsters or saints and never quite was able to make anyone care. I've turned her off since she began because the stations that play cool stuff late at night played her in the morning. I can sleep though three screaming alarms on a sunday morning, but I can't sleep through Leeza on a Tuesday. I guess my REM-sleep is alert enough to know that everyone on the show is full of shit.

Glenn's the one with the shiney head

You know the AARP is cheering

John Glenn's starlog update: "I'm not constipated, I can literally stand on my head and blow water bubbles, and I can see why God created the Earth".
Notes that a college student is writing in the margin:"I'm still tripping, My head feels heavy and I can see the professor talking in bubbles".

Anyone who saw the liftoff knows what the human spirit is about. If you watched in front of your TV and didn't feel anything, then I pity you. I watched as the first Spaniard, the first Japanese woman and a man who had seen seven generations were sent into space. This is humankind working together, using proven technology to make tomorrow's technology better.

Let's face it, for most of us, the magic of space travel was gone before Challenger. I remember being a kid, outside playing, when the Challenger killed the first American civilian to try for beyond the skies. I followed my friend into his house and his mother, not knowing where we'd been all afternoon (we lived in a safe neighborhood), asked us if we knew the "shuttle blew up". I nodded my head, thinking it to be one of those stupid adult mis-phrasings. I knew that a space shuttle launch was schedualed that day, but I chose to play outside over watching another boring liftoff.

We went to the TV and saw what had already been taught to us as a history lesson become death. The jokes started the next day at school.

For my generation, the images of the space program are grainy footage of a previous generation's accomplishments and the crystal clear picture of three decending plumes that were the Challenger. With John Glenn's flight, we will see tangible triumph. We see our father's, long out of the loop, reaching for their old dreams and succeeding against all odds. It makes me feel that if I want it bad enough, it is possible to overcome government and corporate BS. I could touch the sky. John Glenn, a democrat, inspires us all to learn and reach for what we want to happen, not to dig for the worst that has occured. John Glenn teaches us that learning from history means that we must hold a true knowledge of the times in order to grow, not rot, from what has passed.

I'm proud of NASA, not only for the positive press and support they have managed, but for the huge outpouring that this mission has inspired around the world. In spite of repetitive sex scandals, in spite of hateful bigotry, in spite of everything that we, as human beings, can do wrong, we can find it in our hearts to come together and be inspired to do something right.

Amazing that one government program that does nothing for the immediate prosperity, can do that. No one gets a tax cut from NASA, yet we can all share in the dreams of six people, floating above us.

John Glenn is now in space again. By being the oldest person to go beyond the skyline, John Glenn will prove that old pharts can still linger on and cause a good stink. More power to him. Hopefully he'll prove that space is more vast than Russia's constant "Mir" and America's lingering "Columbia" debate. John Glenn is a prime poster-(ahem)boy for the Ovaltine generation. Nothing says "space is safe" like sending a guy off with his geritol. Call it the ultimate in product synchronicity: Ovaltine will make kids strong enough to live long enough to be like John Glenn, Geritol will keep the elderly able to survive Mir well into their nineties and Tang will be the steroids of the next century.

Oh yeah, and it won't hurt John Glenn's aspirations in 2000. Is having John Glenn aboard a space shuttle a vanity trip for everyone involved? Hell yeah. Do I care? Not one bit. NASA knows what it risked by sending the oldest person into space. America is kinda primed to see a hero find his roots.

John Glenn has succeeded in taking our collective attention from the disgusting nature of Kenny Starr for at least a moment; his mission has focused us on things that matter more than soap opera issues.

A few weeks from now, when the press has moved on, remember how you felt watching Discovery take off. Use that feeling in your life.

On to more cynical things...

As much as I hate to say it, I have little hope for peace in the mid-east. Call me a cynical bastard, but one side will slip, the other will retaliate, and I will become numb again. The Jews and the Christians and the Muslims and the what-have-yous can fight until they all meet heaven. None of their leaders are willing to give ground. None of their leaders want peace. Until that changes, I won't care about Clinton organized "peace treaties". You can tell kids to stop fighting, but once they're out of the teacher's view, they'll kick the shit out of eachother. Clinton's saving grace in this matter is that he has ignored the BS surrounding him and acted as the world leader he wants to be.

The bible says that god will forgive, the radical right says that the press shall do the devil's work and dig into the leaks. So much for any arguments against DNA testing: If the right wing has it's way, we'll be cross breeding "PatBuch.V3.6" with "RonReag.V9.3" in no time. I mean, just think about the jump in the "Young Republican's Club" and the effect on the Nielson's.

Little by little, the right wing is trying to slip "scandal" into our daily vocabulary, despite the fact that the press has gotten the clue and tried to drop it. Email, write, or dammitall, show up in person and demand to see your elected official and tell him or her that you just don't care who Bill Clinton screwed, whether he lied about screwing anyone or even the semantics of sex. Tell your elected officials about your job, your real concerns and tell them that you will vote according to what matters to you, not what matters to your political party in regards to who the president beds. Let them know that we want this not only behind us, but that we, as a country, view this kind of partisan politics as as below us. Look at the people who are running your state governments, for they will eventually grow to run our country.

I didn't vote for Bill Clinton, as I have said before, during his first term. I voted libertarian. It was the only place my heart could go. But for a second term, yes, I did vote for Bill Clinton, because he dealt with what bugged me and did his best to make it better. Anyone who feels worse off than they were 6 years ago has their chance to speak at the polls. Anyone who feels that they need a voice also must speak up.

Our govenernment is run not by the press, but by the people. We are not republican or democratic, but American. That means we follow up on what those who govern us promise. Bill Clinton has done his best for this country. He has allowed us to prosper in a free market. He has fought for us to be one nation, under whatever god we may choose to be. Now he is under seige for his fight. Fight back, or lose your right to fight back against partisan politics.

There is no doubt that if we elect a republican president in 2000, we will end up going through this madness in 2002, whether it be over that person's sex life, financial status, whatever: The party opposing that in charge will dish dirt if we, as a people, continue to let this kind of BS become more than what it is: A government funded reason to topple our president for being an asset to the rules of the constitution.

How to spend $70 billion bucks

Now that we, as a country, have a little cash to spend, let's see how we'll blow it. Both parties are like salivating young politicians, counting how many votes they can buy. The Democrats want to put it towards saving social security; ie: staving off reality for a year or two. The Republicans would like to blow it all on "tax reductions", ie: $1.99 off the average bill, and a loophole or two for those with really expensive accountants. Oh yeah, and another five Starr investigations, just in case the country didn't spend enough on figuring out the details of the first one.

Me? I'd pay off my debts, go to school full time for another two years, smoke a little pot along the way and then spend two years in hibernation writing. I guess I'd donate the other $69,999,900,000 to some crazy vegetarian cause I believe in. That much cash should be able to make 1/3 of the country believe what I say. Kenny Starr spent $49 million to make 1/3 of the population Clinton-haters (That's only thru March of '98, according to NBC), so think of what $69.95 billion plus could do to meat eaters. just imagine the infomercials: Cows being slaughtered on live TV, veal calves being slaughtered via tape, maybe a few pigs being disemboweled for the kiddies. Yessiree-bob, that's what I want to see on TV to make my cause just in the eye of the public.

Oh wait, you mean 1/3 were already Clinton haters, and that $50 or so million just gave them more Rush-reasons to believe? Egads, forgive me. My thinking is all screwed up. I guess I'd spend my surplus in school vouchers to make sure that the public school system is destroyed for good and make sure that Darwin is never, ever taught to another child.

People, get your act together: There is a definate, nasty element out there. Don't be a part of it. Tell your congressman, Republican or Democrat, not to support this crap. Tell them that you're sick of it. Tell them to make it go away. They have the power, right now, to do so. If you don't think that a Maplethorp photo is artistic, then why would you think that the Starr report, negligent as it is in the facts, is educational?

"The guy's brain's not working right"

Hide the women and children, the Starr report has broken loose.

Just for ha-ha's, can I make mention of George Bush's "Read My Lips: No New Taxes" pledge to America and Ronald Reagan's "I don't remember" comments regarding the Contra's. I think both of those lies were a little more, um, fucking relevant than "I didn't sleep with her".

This Just In...

I have viewed the evidence myself, searched through every bit of the Sfarrt Report and any non-classified documents I could get my hands on. As I will now prove to you, the truth is so far Out there, it would shock Jerry Brown.

I know it's hard to believe that this could be factual, but the evidence is amazing.

Both are portrayed as innocence defined by careful media manipulation. Monica: the sweet, too-young-to-understand-what-sex-is intern at home of the the man in charge of the free world. Marie: the sweet, singing mother of 569 dutiful Mormon children and daytime chat hostess.

The reality is that plastic surgery and computer-generated press releases have finally given Marie/Monica her one true desire in life: To have her purple socks nibbled off by the President of the US. According to my sources, she first wanted this done by Jimmy Carter, but their mutually fading popularity prevented "The Peanut President" from planting "The Cherry Queen". Once, while Nancy was "shopping with Frank", she attempted to seduce Ronald Reagan. It was a dismal failure as he fell asleep before she could get her shoes off. In her depressed sea of dashed-hopes, she found a loving companion in TV star Bob Barker. It was a torrid affair. Barker's constant, unending insistance that she be be spayed despite his not being neutered soured Marie/Monica on men. They didn't have sex for days on end. Marie/Monica became mysteriously (to Bob) pregnant four times in four days, which she explained to Barker as a "Mormon miracle" At a secret Hollywood animal right's dinner to raise funds for Keiko the Whale, Bob introduced Marie/Monica to Betty White. When Bob was accused of sexually harrassing his Beauties, she could take no more: Marie/Monica ended up in a lesbian affair with Betty White (see the above family portrait, the child may or may not be Bob Barker's. Cat Stevens has also been rumoured to be the father). When Donny managed to break the pop charts in the early '90's with "Soldier of Love", Marie sank even further into depression and face-lifts. Fed up with explaining how "being a mormon makes you pregnant" to Betty, she broke off the relationship and returned to her political aspirations: Marie Osmond started up "relations" with Bill Clinton under the alias Monica Lewinski. The rest can be read in the Sfarrt Report and in the upcoming memoirs by Marie/Monica.

Now back to the program

The Right Wing needs blood for their fuel. Oh yeah, and news people need something to talk about now that OJ is officially non-pressworthy. Every politician lies on the campaign trail, promising good news for everyone, but Clinton was studpin-stupid enough to get caught with his pants down during the electronic age. God knows a President newt would've suffered the same fate and fought it more strongly by subversively doing in the whistleblower, but Clinton faced the country and lied, and now he has apologized for doing it. Big fat fucking deal.

A sex scandal calls into question every move Bill Clinton has made over the past six years. Did he really fight for gay rights, or was that just a market-friendly position? Did he fight for secure social security or did we really have a moralistic right wing saving for that? Did Bill Clinton come to make it easier for us change jobs without fear of losing all of our benefits, or was that some sex-related joke? Are we, as a planet, better off now than we were five years ago, or should we try to shift control of the nukes back into the hands of just 6 or eight or ten countries?

Is Paula Jones a lot richer today? Is Monica Lewinski? Are there a bunch of reporters and lawyers chasing local politicians for sex stories?

Welcome to the world the right wing would want to matter. Before you know it, we'll have our own version of the IRA... oh wait, the NRA already tried to portray Waco by painting Janet Reno as Bill Clinton's flunkie despite her aversion to politics. Those who swear by the word of god had to use Ken Starr to dig into sex to save us all from the kind of sex god would hate. The right wing shall save us from divorce, racial hatred and child abuse by divorcing our wives, hating different people and by beating our kids into submission. God save us all from a good, solid Republican economy as oppossed to the speculative, hopeful, bright tomorrow we were enjoying.

well... DUH!

A customer in the store I work at blamed the recent stock falls on "That damned Clinton". Seeing as I can't say this kind of thing to his face at work, I put quote the following from a report the same day in Yahoo's news:

Itar-Tass news agency quoted Chernomyrdin, recalled by Yeltsin on
Sunday after five months in the political wilderness, as saying:
``A series of important decisions has been taken after
consulting Russia's best brains.
The main goal is to stop the rouble fall, not allow the
economy to collapse and reduce the losses of every Russian
from this financial turmoil,'' he said.

I have seen the "Big Rewind", and it is good.
Howard Jones' current tour where he opens for Culture Club is a great show. While I'd of course prefer it to be the other way around, it's great to see and hear that Howard is still in top form. He bounced, he sang, he got the crowd on its' feet and made the place jam. If you get a chance, this is a great tour.

Congratulations to Ken Starr. He's done what many a third world tyrant has tried to do for years: Break the trust of the President of the United States and his bodygaurds. He has managed to make the "secret service" a public hostage. He has made the man responsible for the safety of the president of our country leave his position in a hurry by making him a public figure (and in doing so, making that man and his family a target for every nut with access to a newspaper). Why? Because the man had knowledge of where the president was at every moment. Because that man did his job. What a wonderful thing to leave the world: In a hunt for "justice" on a potentially bad land deal, you dig up potential ex-lovers and in the process, destroy the security of a country's leader. Maybe he's proud of himself. No one but the most jaded politician is. I think our country is currently holding it's collective head in shame.
If it was 1986 and anyone with political motives tried this BS, even Chief Justice "Venge-Quest" would still remember the attack on President Reagan's life. I guess it takes a recent attack to make people like Ken Starr realize where to draw the line between doing what you have to do to get ahead and what's right for the country.
The fact that he's made it this far pushes me even further to the left. I'd rather be on the side that fought for true justice for a country than the side that played it's every, lawyer-abided loop-hole.

Old Age shall set me free. Funny now that I'm 26 I don't seem to give a damn about getting a corporate job, or even about retail life itself. It is, once again, just something that I do to make a living. The pressure to do more than what I already had killed my spark. Now I am almost charged again. It's taken me about two loveless years, two hope-filled but dream-starved years to come back to who I am. Without the definitions of money and relationships, I have again learned what art means to me, and the impact it can create on the world. I have again realized why I am a vegetarian, not just someone ranting about what would make life better for vegetarians. I understand again why I call myself a faggot, and why that self-labeling means something. I know what it's like to write again, not for public performance, but for personal need. The world in which we live is fantastic place, filled with opportunity. The only failure is to not take the chance, to say "I wish I'd tried". That is how I used to live, before Beckett, before I became a vegetarian, before I called myself gay.

I've been hobbling about like a pretty-boy Quasimodo due to a, um, shall we say "Poor display of acrobatics"? I have given myself a badly sprained ankle, more painful than anything I did during my skateboarding years, but on the upside, sprains don't leave scars, so at least I won't have anything to bookend my chin with. Not to mention the fact that I have a prescription for some mild painkillers I can cash in if I feel the need.

So... Japan's in another slump? Gee whiz, let's see, tight controls on personal freedom, suicidal panic amongst the people and a recently-changed parent-head government? Can an Oliver Stone movie be in the making here? Toss in Russia and India, and it's not a pretty hemisphere.

I used to think Jack Kevorkian was a pretty cool fellow, fighting the good fight, but his recent expansion into body parts is just twisted. Let's just assume the coroner was wrong about the way it was done for a moment and focus on the larger problem: WHY was it done? He said no one would take the parts, but people wanted them. Why didn't the parts get to those dying bodies? Now, taking the coroner's report into the equation, why would someone fighting for a much bigger issue slack off in taste department? Is it possible that Dr. Death's 15 minutes of fame are over and the world is tired of his once-serious question? Are we ready for the Kevorkian questions to be fought only in the headlines of The Enquirer?

I am an organ donor because it's right to not burn something that could be useful to someone else. Call me the ulmitate pack-rat, but if any parts of my well abused body are worth something to someone else, then I have no problem of donating them.

Just when you think that life can't get any sillier, it really throws you for a loop and goes crazy on you. An assumed lost ex returned to my world. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but kept my trust on a short leash. He's now doing coke again. I can't reconcile my life with a someone who snorts or injects.

Barry Goldwater, you've changed the face of American politics, may you cause just as much of a shakeup wherever you've gone to.

Barry Goldwater may now be a permanent part of the history books, but his life changed the paths those books follow. I don't agree with a lot of what he said and did in his life, and, apart from his early, headstrong and back asswards communist fears, Goldwater was a true American: Staunch in his beliefs, but open-minded enough to listen. His legacy is that of a populist undergrounder, consistantly able to garner enough support to be a contender, but never quite mainstream enough to be a winner. In my view, that often was for the best. But the respect I have for this guy is immense.

Another sad death: Phil Hartman. You may know him as "That funny guy" from such shows as "SNL" and "Newsradio", but I will forever cherish him as the slickest Springfielder.

India catches up to 50's America

Here's one word for anyone who thinks that violence gets respect: Unibomber.

It's absolutely disgusting that the biggest democracy needs to resort to these kinds of methods to garner attention for it's newbie government. I mean, they could have just made same-sex marriages legal, gotten just as much publicity, all without wasting anything but a few sheets of paper.

This guy toured the site of the detonations in nothing but traditional robes. There he was, standing on a platform above the crater of a nuclear test site, wearing what would add up to the american equivilent of a toga. Hopefully the radiation will kill this dingbat before his poll numbers change.

Good for Japan for cutting off aid to India, Bad for Russia for thier continued support of a country that ignores the many pacts Russia herself has signed and claims to live by. I cannot imagine a worse time for Russia to side with the traditionally unstable India. If Russia wants to align itself with India, then let her. With China to their east, you'd think they'd want stability to their south.

Pakistan is unfortunate to have chosen to play India's games. They will suffer the same fate, and are much less prepared for it. It's a simple case of arrogance and politics ruling over reason, like a schoolyard bully beating someone up, and the class wimp doing it too.

Major Kudos to Pakistan for at least lip-swearing to a no-nukes policy. Major Bads to the US press for burying this news.

My answer to the India nuclear situation and nuclear proliferation in general? Bomb whatever country detonates nuclear weapons with information: Overload their nets with pictures of nuclear devestation, air drop billions of VHS tapes of "When the Wind Blows" and cd singles of Sting's "Russians". For a last ditch effort, take over any country that dares to test a nuclear weapon with constant repeats of "The Day After". They will die of boredom, and we will win, by default.

Despite "Murphy Brown" leaving the air after a strong-content year, "Ellen" getting the boot for being too queer and, of course, "Seinfeld" saying yaddayaddayadda for the last time, TV is actually getting better. I can't believe it myself, but look at the goods.

The three series I just mentioned are leaving on high notes, Most notably "Brown" who, I thought, should've packed her bags in a few years ago, but hung in there to end off with a great season.

"Ellen" was laugh out loud funny this season for the first time since it was a knockoff Friends replica. Who would've thought that one of the generic stand-up-gets-their-own-show-with-a-crowd-of-20somethings would go on to win a Peabody, an Emmy and it's star would get Entertainment Weekly's "Entertainer of the Year" award, much less that it would get canceled that same season for vague reasons from ABC.

So what's good about TV? Well, "Nothing's Sacred" has been cancelled (by the bastards at ABC, of course), "Brooklyn South"' got canned despite a better first year first year cast and writing than NYPD Blue and "The Love Boat" will sail on, despite it's stupidity. But wait, there is hope:

"Everybody Loves Raymond" is consistantly hysterical. The cast is classic-in-the-making-fantastic without a sore spot amongst the them. Both my mother and I laugh along with this show, it's an intelligent and funny show that CBS finally gave a decent and consistant time slot.

"King of the Hill" may not be the most consistant show, but it takes a lot of worth-it chances (if the Hill's move to Hollywood permanently, then I'm a homophobic republican), as does the show that follows it: "The X-Files". Sure, it may have been a strange year, but it's been groovy and riveting to watch. You know I'll be there on opening night of the movie.

"NYPD Blue" had an off year, but it's still been good to watch. Jimmy Smits is leaving at a good time, and I hope his departure will be a good shake up, not a smooth over loss from an excellent lead.

"Dawson's Creek" has the dumbest title on the air, but I still have gotten caught up in it. The guys are hot, the problems are tawdry-real and the cast seems to have more room to grow than 5 "Parties of". These people don't whine, they deal. The season ender was just another episode: I cried, I laughed, and it left me wanting more. Despite the crass attempts to make fun of network TV, this is one of the most honest shows on network TV.

There's a few show's I'm sure I've forgotten, but none deserve mention like "The Simpsons". Over the years, the animated Bundy's have become an animated Brady Bunch without losing a bit of their wits. Homer is just as dumb, Marge is just as loving and Lisa is still the left-wing child in all of us. Only brat Bart has become nicer with age, and I'm sure that'll change if the focus of the show shifts again.

Linda McCartney will be missed by not just her family, but also from the causes she supported. She went beyond being a veggie and into the role of business-activist and, in doing so, helped to change the flaky image of vegetarianism. My favourite moment is when both she and Paul, for their part on the Simpsons, had it written in that Lisa would stay a vegetarian permanently. That's power well used.

More power well used

The judge presiding over the trial of the Arkansas boys has done well. He has given them the maximum a juvenile can recieve, and that, I feel, is reasonable. He's also done well with his openess towards the press. He's made room for family and friends, but still gave generous space for those reporting to the rest of us who care.

I've always been pretty staunch in my support of the death penalty, but the recent focus on it has given me an itch that needs scratching. Without a doubt, the chick who axed and then found god met her maker with no remorse from me, but 2 more recent deaths are what got me wondering.

The item that makes me wonder about the sanity of death penalty is the fact that we, as a nation, sanctioned the murder (and don't kid yourself, it is technically murder) of someone for a crime committed before this guy could legally buy beer or be allowed to serve in the armed forces.

The crime was vile, no one denies this fact, no one tries to cheapen this fact. The guy beat the living breath out of a woman while her family watched. If we, as a country, say he isn't mentally responsible at the age of 17 to buy tobacco or cigarettes, much less hold a gun in the name of this country, yet he can be responsible enough for his actions that tax dollars can be used for his death, isn't there some severe re-prioritizing needed here?

Legally, there's only state to state difference between him, Timothy McVeigh, James Earl Ray, Charles Manson and the two kids (ages 11 and 13) who shot up their schoolyard in Arkansas. The US is the only member of the UN that condones the death penalty for crimes committed by underage people.

Given the politics of this issue, would you want to sit on the jury of a boy who's admitted to murder? What happens when a 15 year old female goes on a killing spree? She's not old enough to be married, buy a bottle of champagne to celebrate, be sent off to war or be influenced by Joe Camel according to the rules of our government. Is she old enough to be killed for having killed?

What about those who have possibly been wrongly accused without politics? They just die on death row without the same kind of headlines. The appeals process may seem tedious, but only when it becomes a topic of discussion does it become a joke, in that only those "important enough" become topics of conversation...

Now we're down to trying seven year olds for murder. Blame it on TV, blame it on the parents, blame it on God, Jesus or Mohammed. It doesn't matter where the blame is spat. The little girl isn't coming back. The little boys are forever changed and tainted, despite the fact that they haven't been found guilty. At seven and eight years old they are, in the eyes of this TV-viewing country, guilty. It is the job of the press to report what they know. It is the job of our police departments to protect the people, even if they think those people are murderers. It is the job of the courts to not allow the names of these children to be released. I know how I would feel, even as a manager of a tiny, minimum-wage-paying candle shop, about hiring a grown-up version of a kid who killed. It is the responsibility of the press to not look under certain rocks and give kids, even those who may have killed, some space to hide. It is the responsibility of parents to make their kids understand the value of life and the joys of living it, not hide them from what goes on. It is the responsibility of every one of us to make sure that this kind of crap doesn't happen again. Talk to the parents of kids that seem out of the loop. Talk to the kids themselves. And for crying out loud, don't invest your money in the media that supports this kind of ruthlessness. Don't buy the tabloids, don't buy the biographies, don't give people a reason to leak the names we don't want to hear.

Given the extent to which liabilities stand now, how long before people become murder suspects for Road Rage? It's currently called vehicular manslaughter, and it's on the books. How long until you're held responsible for giving that jerk cutting in front of you the finger when he causes an accident ten miles away from you? How will you be treated if someone makes up a lie that makes the story a sensation? Ask Richard Jewell what it's like.

Oh my god, please kill Kenny Starr, he's a bastard!

Even George Bush is hinting that little Kenny is going too far. If the secret service issue were just about Bill Clinton, does anyone seriously think that his former opponent would side with him? If it was just about sleaze, I think Ol' George would've kept his mouth shut. Does the abuse of this license to dig never end?

Ken Starr doesn't think so. Ken Starr vows it's not over. Of course not, Kenny, you haven't said so. That would mean that YOU LOST, that the last three years of your life were an utter waste of time and money. I mean, c'mon, if you can't even get Paula Jones' mascara to run from that many tears, how do you expect the country to buy the BS you proffer?

My only disappointments in Shawn Colvin's well-deserved Grammy win: She didn't knock the arrogant loser Wu-wer out of the way, and she didn't mention the fine staff at Strawberries #79 in Waterbury, Ct. for their ceaseless promotion of her fantastic album, "A Few Small Repairs".

For those of you who know me all too closely, my nasty, icky, and generally unsavoury boss at KB Toys, Andrea, got herself pink slipped for being a thief! Ha! It's so very true: What goes around comes around! I'll be snickering for months about this one...

Yeah, replace "Ellen" with the banal Mystic Pizza leftovers show. If anyone at ABC wonders why Fox and NBC have the cool demographics watching, let this be a lesson to you: Hank Hill and Fox Mulder are characters with personalities. Drew Carrey is becoming a "Personality" with a TV show. "Ally McBeal" and "Working" are newish ensemble shows held together by characters with growth potential. "Home Improvement" is an ensemble show that is nearing the end of it's run and watiching it's stars branch out. See the differences?

Holy Cow! Harry Caray died of brain damage. How he lived with it is the bigger surprise. No wait, I understand now that I've seen the footage of his wife singing: She was his brain-damage enabler

That Milli Vanilli guy killed himself. I'm surprised it took him this long.

Look out, Chicken Little!

Jodi Foster's pregnent!!! My god, I knew there were some really butch chicks out there, but dang! They find water on the moon and Jodi Foster gets preggers, what is the world coming to? My whole idea of up and down was about to crash around me, but then I turned to the political section of the paper. It's kinda scary when Ken Starr is the most consistant thing in the world. If anyone finds out that Hanson really is 3 girls, or that Rush lost 200lbs and became an Earth First!er, please, don't contact me. I can't take much more.

When the hell is Ken Starr gonna realize that America JUST DOESN'T CARE about Bill Clinton's infidelities and stop wasting the taxpayer cash on seeking out such bullshit? What a disgusting waste of money, time and, most appalling, influence.

Kenny isn't even trying to hurt Clinton at this point: he's being point boy for the 2000 elections, trying to destroy confidence in democratic politicians by bringing down Clinton, esp. on the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade (don't forget that this is when this current "fill-in-the-gaps-gate" began). The Republicans have been wanting payback for SIX YEARS, and they're down to checking out who Clinton slept with for it. I don't think "revenge" is a constitutionally provided freedom.

Sad, but true: the Pentagon is still trying find ways to hunt out fags within it's ranks, despite the rules that explicity say that they can't do so. If you can do your job, why be restricted?

It's great the 18 year olds don't have to lie anymore to get in, but what happens to these kids once they're in? "Lie to yourself and be silent to your commander" is not a good policy. It only works in the courts, which are supposed to be there for when the policy is screwy, not to be relied upon to sort out screwy policy. The military needs a certain attitude. We homos have proven ourselves, why do we still get an attitude from the military?

CBS has murdered "Beakman's World". May they burn in hell for this heinous action.

Spice World... Who cared?

"Titanic" is still the best film I've seen in the past year, besting even my previous fave "Ulee's Gold". I had my hand on face and when I took it away, I had a small river that had puddled. Go see it, over and over again.

Golden Globes, Oscar nods, even director's awards, all justly deserved. Titanic is still, all these months after its' release, a fantastic movie.

Justice may be blind, but the Justice Dept. is just dumb

I'm no flag-waving Bill Gates fan, but he begat the world a wonderful product (windows) and then bundled up mediocre products with it. NBC has done it for years with it's Thursday lineup, but it's not the long arm of the law pulling "Union Square" off the air, it's the lazy arm of the remote-savvy that got it yanked. If you're dumb enough to not be able to figure out that you can buy a different browser than the one that comes with your computer, then you should stick to playing your Nintendo 64.
If Microsoft had advertised their browser as a "bonus" or thrown in a disc that you had to upload, this wouldn't be a problem. It's fucking pathetic when a company gets sued, and it actually sticks legally, for offering too much.

Grocery stores offer weekly "loss-leaders" to get you into their stores, the music industry plays with it's numbers on a regular basis. Why is Microsoft being singled out? Because the computer industry scares people with it's ability to grow. It's a touchy issue that can be twisted to conform to whatever a poll may ask.

Let's face it, for the most part, Apple offers a better product, but then again, Beta offered a better picture than VHS.

I have the secret tapes of Michael Hutchence's last moments, and I reveal them here for you: "Our last tape/was so great, But "Wasted" couldn't/initiate/"Kick"'s sales rate, I can't take/this sad fate, so I'll make/a cieling stake...."

hmmmm... Paula Jones: Slut or money-hound? I still can't make up my mind.

In the "It's about time" category: The yups are finally tiring of their "sport utility vehicles" and realizing that 99% of the time, front wheel drive cars with decent tires and careful drivers at the wheel don't get stuck. Sport ute sales are finally slowing, and only those who wanna catch up to the Joneses are buying them now.

For those who don't realize this fact: 4 wheels moving a car along are no reason to ignore the fact that ice is slippery for 2 or 4 wheels, and two front wheels losing traction means that you lose steering, no matter how many wheels are pushing you along. If you're one of those idiots that feels "safer" in a tall, 4WD truck, try taking a high school driver's ed course, or maybe a physics course, and saving yourself the dough in the long run. Careful driving outdoes reckless "ability" any snowy day.

If you're considering a sport ute, remember basic math: you can buy a "transport" car like an Escort wagon and a "Fun" car like a Miata for the same payout.

If you're stuck on the whole idea of status, then remember that a Porsche Boxster carries more clout than a "Lexus" Toyota sport ute, a Honda Passport is still the Isuzu piece of shit you ignored a few years ago and the Blazer is the same crap heap, no matter which division of GM it comes from.

The person who races you out of the slippery employee parking lot in thier mega-money "Navigator" will be the first to turn it over 'coz they don't understand the basic meaning of "top-heavy vehicle".

I drove an Audi A4 Avant at 110 mph along rt. 140, just outside of Knoxville. Damn, what a sweet car. The Audi A6 is one of the most gorgeous vehicles to cross the Atlantic, period. I've almost gotten into accidents watching this car (as well as the similarly styled Audi A4 and the new VW Passat) drive by me.

Ah, maybe I missed a bit of the news that day, but when exactly did the "Thoughts of Jesse Helms" replace the "articles of the Constitution"?

Bubble bubble, toys mean trouble: I'm collecting Star Wars toys again, and dammit, I'm starting to get obsessive about it. I'm sane, right? It's ok, isn't it? I mean, I'm not breaking any laws... just buying toys for personal use at almost 26 years of age.

William Burroughs: RIP, my dear ol' boy. You've given me your inspiration. Thank you.

"Dream Boy" by Jim Grimsley is a fantastic read, managing to break your heart, uplift your spirits and violate your sense of right and wrong in just 195 pages.

I've finally caught up to reading "Primary Colors", and it's a gas of a read, occasionaly bordering on great literature. At the very least, it's a wonderfully done commentary on the political process of the late 20th century. At it's best, it's a hysterical and heartfelt story that just happens to have polotics in it's center. Wipe away the Clinton staff guessing game of who's this and who's that, and you have a damn good read.

Clive Barker's "Sacrament" sent me through an identity crisis. Has a more depressing piece of literature ever been written? Has anyone ever dug so deep into the human heart and then found so little to like, yet put such a positive spin on it?

After plowing through four Tom Clancy books, I read "Ramona and her Mother". Don't ask. This James Patterson fellow kinda sucks, as does R.L. Stine's "adult book" (it was like a "Goosebumps" with sex, which kinda makes you feel dirty).

After re-reading some old Clive, I've read some new Tom Clancy. I've never felt so cheated by a book. "Politika" is the most diluting new read from a fave author I've ever had. Get back into the real world Tom, and quit wishing for the "good ol' days" of the Cold War. It only dates you by your cheesy ways to re-invigorate it. A decent author might've found a new enemy, a better author would've found the enemy within without being so Republican.

I finally got around to reading Al Franken's "Rush is a Big Fat Idiot", and dang, what a funny book. I still prefer the James "The Ragin' Cajun" Carville's "We're Right", but kudo's to Al.

Does anyone remember "Profit"? I'd love to hear from anyone who has any of the like 3 episodes taped.

Salsa, it's what's for dinner

As much as I favour veggie-burgers replacing "meat-of-the-day", I can't seem to find it my heart to call Salsa a vegetable. One only needs to look at the bowling pin shape of the people calling Salsa a vegetable to know that it is not. If you want Richard Simmons to cry on your shoulder, then by all means, eat Salsa and chicken, cow and pig until you can say "beefcake".

If you really care about the physical health of the nation, then take a serious look at vegetarian: It's cheap, environmentally friendly and the average vegetarian checks the label of the Salsa they buy.

On the topic of vegetarianism, Wendy's is off my list 'coz they've killed their once-fantastic salad bar. If I'm forced to buy Wendy's, I just get a fry now.

$3.83 for a Big Mac, Super Size Fry and a large soda.

$4.18 for a Super Size fry, Super Size soda, apple pie and a bbq sauce

You do the math and tell me where a Big Mac fits in

I'd like to go a fast food joint and buy a huge diet Coke, a huge Fry and spend less than someone ordering a mega-meat sandwhich with the same as part of a "value meal". I'd like to buy a decent veggie burger and stop starving myself during my lunch hour. Give me a McVeggie that tastes good, and I'd be willing to pay a buck more than what I spend on fries and a pop, and I might spend the money on a regular, not a "Have to" basis.

For those of you desperate enough to hunt out the really best fries, ignore the commercials and go to Arby's and order curly fries with BB-Q sauce. For one stop shopping get yourself a shake and live in fattening good fast food. Neither the clown nor the king can compare.

If you want a decent and quick meatless meal, then go to Blimpies and get a 6" Veggie-Max (I like mine with just lettuce), a huge pop and a bag of chips for less than $4 bucks. It is far from hard to live a veggie life, you just have to hunt down the places that welcome, not abuse, veggie customers.

Until Fast Food places face vegetarianism, I'll eat my Kroger salads and have enough left over to spend on funions, funky pops and still get change.

I hate to believe it, but from what I've seen, coke is hot again. I have no moral holier-than-thou attitude towards drugs, but c'mon, cocaine? I've never been to so many parties and left before people started to pass out. I like a jumping party, I like a hyper party, but I hate a party that feeds on peoples addictions, a party where some people get higher and some people get richer.

I've been listening to way too much Hanson. I actually know the lyrics to "mmmBop".

Did anyone notice that ABC had a new album out? I thought not...

Yeah, but can we neck in the theater without getting bashed after?

WooHoo!!! It looks as though the silver screen went pink this summer! There was a slew of gay themed films that came out. While we didn't see Matthew Broderick hopping into bed with Harvey Fierstein in "Godzilla", here's a few of the queer flicks coming soon to video: "54", "Shopping for Fangs", Disney's "Mulan" (just kidding, but it does have cross dressing as a major theme, just no RuPaul cameos), "Divine Trash", "Broadway Damage", "The Opposite of Sex", "High Art" (with Ally Sheedy, no less!), "Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss", "The Hanging Garden", "Safe Men" (Harvey plays it str8. Yeah, right, and he duets with Jewel), and "The Truman Show" (not really gay, but hey, what gay guy doesn't feel that his life at least partially mirrors a TV show and dreads waking up and being cancelled, ala "Ellen"). Yessiree, it's gonna be one rose-tinted video season!

The ultimate coming out line: "Mom, Dad, I won't shop at Wal-Mart, and I'm not a Baptist"

Like I didn't need another fire under my ass, homophobes have beaten and killed one of us and the police can't recognize it as the hate crime it is. Why? Because Wyoming doesn't have any laws against hate crimes. Our local, state and national politicians are too busy concerning themselves with Kenny Starr and who Bill Clinton got blown by to notice the tortured death of a skinny little faggot. Get in touch with the people at every level who govern you and find out what they're doing to prevent what Matthew Shepard had to endure from happening to you, your neighbor or your neighbor's kid.

The paper's report what politicians say. Politicians say what you want them to or argue against it. Let them know what you what them to say or vote against them.

I came out because I knew that if I stayed in the closet, I couldn't be strong. It took me years to find the strength to come out and risk the kind of the death that Matthew Shepard endured. No straight person has to deal with the sudden loss of family and friends, the complete and total biblical relegation to sinner status, the social chaos and the fear of those looking to elevate and establish themselves by beating the hell out of an easy target. I lived with that every single day that I went into middle and high school for seven years. I came close to doing myself in rather than endure the "humilitation" of being a faggot. I know how bitchy and pithy the gay community can be, I have seen it, dealt with it and been done with it. God fearing folks were more evil to me than any queer, bitchy ex, and I'll be damned if I lived through that crap and all that my kids have to see for it is history to repeating itself.

If you believe in god, then pray for a cure. For the first time, someone I personally know has been diagnosed as hiv positive. For the first time, AIDS has touched my heart. It is no longer an abstract thing, something that lurks in my fears, something to be fought against because so many people has said it was so: It is now reality for me and someone that I care about. If you think Ellen was shoving gay people down straight america's throat, then just wait for the backlash when AIDS invades your family. See if you hate the faggot or reach out for the person.

No matter your reaction, do what you can. If you can do it, throw $10 to your local AIDS foundation. Ten bucks may not be much, but it gives the people opening the envelopes and paying the bills faith. If you can't, volunteer a few hours to them. Chances are they'll appreciate it a lot more than your job. Remember: You don't find time, you make time.

After a month or two down in Tennessee, I'm still oblivious as to why we should stay in the closet. I understand the personal fear, but I still haven't seen any homophobia worse than I did in Connecticut (ie: the odd "Fucking faggot" remark). My worst gay moment thus far was realizing that my immediate manager wouldn't back up my freedom rings and that I was on my own in daring to wear them. I've learned too much to let policy stand in the way of what I stand for.

I am not fighting a battle that isn't there. I'm still, seven years after coming out, doing what I can to let people know that "out" is OK. There are very closeted people that I meet, online and in the real world, who need to know that homo's are not just the sinners that the right wing paints them to be. I'm far from the model homosexual, but I am loud, I am proud and I'm here. I'll make people get used to it until a fifteen year old can give a romantic kiss to his boyfriend and not risk getting the living hell beaten out him.

Some people don't understand why I still fight. They say that gays have made huge advances in society. We've got "spousal benefits" in most major companies and some cities. We can legally serve in the armed forces, as long as we don't say or act or be accused of being gay. Gay people can even adopt kids in some states. I'm sorry, but that's not good enough for me. I believe that human rights are not special rights. I believe that a wedding band should hold the same benefit as a set of freedom rings. I believe that a guy bringing a male date to a company function should be allowed the same freedom of expression as guy bringing a female date. I want my lover to get full spousal benefits nationally. I want to see a pink triangle on a soldier and I want equal consideration when it comes to adoption. Until the day that happens, I will fight for gay rights.

I have it very good in that I work for a store that has zero problems with faggots or dykes. When I say that they wouldn't back up my freedom rings, it comes from a bible-belt complaint, a corporate-type precaution taken and my own risk in daring to not follow through with that corporate precaution. My management could have tried taking an official stance, but they didn't. They chose an informal, personal response and I much preferred that, as I could refuse to do it and risk a personal retribution, which never came. There has been no ill-will from my management regarding my stance in the wearing o'the rainbow. However, there's still a lot of places that would not be so accepting. I consider myself extremely lucky to not be a part of that kind of unsaid and arrogant policy. There are far too many places that would hire me because I look straight and narrow and then fire me because I'm a faggot and come up with technical reasons for doing so. Until gay people are no longer needing a special clause, until policy is written regardless of sex and sexual-orientation, I will continue to fight for gay rights.

I will continue to fight until my goal is met: No fifteen-year-old has to go through the shit that I did.

Chastity Bono can stick it up her ass. She makes a valid point, but she takes it in the wrong direction. "Ellen" is a show about a woman who has come out of the closet; ie: a gay woman, a lesbian. If the show were still titled "These Friends of Mine", I could it see it banking on the other characters a little more, but it's called "Ellen", you see, and the character Ellen is a gay woman, a lesbian, see where this is headed? If straight America doesn't watch her because she's too "obsessed" about her sexuality, then maybe ABC should schedual repetitive repeats of the reverse world episode against "Mad About You" until "Straight America" gets the "Mad About You" warning joke. Chastity, darling, not everyone has, er, had, sorry, congressmen daddies and re-sculpted mommies to shelter them. Some of us had to duke it out in the real straight world, the world in which your father's buddy Newt would like to see us ruled illegal. ABC has given "Ellen" walking papers. Chastity Bono can now watch her daddy's old buddys fag-bash on CSpan for her entertainment.

I took a friend up to The Reader's Feast in Hartford, Ct. to buy her first set of freedom rings. It brought back the memories of the many sets I've had... Some fell apart at the tugging hands of children, some were (ahem) left over people's houses never to be recovered, some lost in moving, but it got me wondering: Who got the damned toaster for me?

Proof that Tennessee is in the bible belt: I've been at my job at CompUSA for less than a week, and someone has already whined about my rainbow necklace not being "Godly". If the customer that had the nerve to bitch about my queerness happens to be reading this: GET A LIFE.

The Gay Rights Movement is far from over. If you're gay and not out, shame on you. If you're bi and not open, then shame on you too. When the quilt stops growing, does that mean that we have accomplished our task? I hope not. I want to live a life where two fathers can mean two parents.

OK, here goes my leftist knee, but damn, the fags of this world need not only a break, but a stronger voice. We are so afraid of being put down that we have put ourselves down. Have a bit of pride, guys. Make yourselves known in your community, in the lives you live. Every day I go into work knowing that I have to be a model for the queer community, in spite of my, shall we say Less than desireable qualities. Only by doing that will we encourge young people to come out and deal with their own feelings, and only by being true to ourselves will we prove any worth to the lives we live.

My point in Coming Out was so that no other 15 year old had to go through the kind of shit I did, and I still stand by that. If you know you're gay, come out, for society's sake. If your a guy who likes guys, then talk about it. I have yet to meet a straight guy turned gay by a queer.

If you can't do this much, then at least make yourself known to the people who run this government. Don't let homosexuality become the crime the old school is trying to make it behind our backs.

The trivial law can be used against an innocent person. This is the basic danger of a knee-jerk, press-educated democracy.

A quick way to teach those of the female gender that you live with how much effort it takes to put the seat down: Put the seat AND the lid down each time. Now that's equality.

Don't you hate it when you miss a day and I actually had something funny to say?

Why on earth would you miss stuff like this: