butterfly angel

solipsism

Their minds are filled with big ideas, images and distorted facts. I haven't known peace and quiet for so long I can't remember what it's like. I can't feel you anymore, I can't feel you anymore I can't even touch the books you've read. I kissed goodbye the howling beast on the border line which seperated you from me. You'll never know the hurt I suffered nor the pain I rise above and it makes me feel so sorry. you say you lost your faith but that's not where it's at, you had no faith to lose and you know it. I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes and just for that one moment I could be you.
"we'll always have one foot in the future, one foot in the past, as we're pissing on the present."
Destruction is one's only bliss and sometimes when I read back on these things or thoughts I often feel like saying to myself "SHUT UP! you are SO full of shit".

it's arrogance surperceding arrongance, in disdain and a pecular satisfaction. Built upon itself for its own selfish need. big words are often a mask for small minds.
I need money. because money is sex, and sex is life. don't drink it, drown in it. my mind is filled with useless crap. i can only think in quotes. Simply because because i said so. but I am sacred. I'm scared.i'm sacred. i'm scared.

Thoughts return to where they came, and i remember how I love the way cloves make your lips taste.
Just what is real? I need Desert rain to wash me away from the bliss does not exist, but only in my head. and maybe that's why you don't understand. I know one day you'll leave me,(I would if I could), but I'll survive...maybe.

But don't worry if i don't, it's better that way, so consider me lucky if don't. I'm too scared to go on.

I love you because i hate me-I hate you because you love me.
I'm too scared to tell it to your face. so I won't.
I wonder if tomorrow it will rain? have you wondered why you're here? just checking. I want to escape for reason from reason, from problems, from you-but I can't because they will always find me. in your eyes i see what I can not be. In my eyes you will see what you should not be. the sex we shared was good-I could look into your eyes that way. Now i'm scared to return to the real world, will you be there?
Yes, you will...but you still won't understand...and never will...



relapse
[solstice]
rehab
[the gypsy lied]

return
[don't be late]

reach
[reach out and touch faith]


release
[you'll all come back now]