1) You watch Desperado, just so you can pretend you're Selma Hayek, and you're the one who's getting it off with Antonio.
2) Your tutor makes up a rhyme about you, and about the fact that nobody wants to kiss you
3) Nightclubs start seeming like a good place to find a boyfriend
4) You start swearing to God, that males are useless things, and you don't need them at all.
5) You buy, and read Cosmopolitan and Cleo for hints on how to attract men.
6) Grooving along to Ricky Martin in your bedroom, becomes an enjoyable way to spend a Saturday night
7) Alternatively, you spend Saturday night scrubbing the mould from your bathroom
8) You calculate how many opportunities for sex you've missed whilst being single
9) Your friend organises a romantic dinner for her boyfriend - and you help clean the house, make the meal, and light the candles.
10) You own a pair of handcuffs - for use at costume parties.
© 1999 The Archangel Cameo