"Some people never go crazy.  What horrible lives they must lead."
         Charles Bukowski, Burning in Water, Drowning in Flames
 

I was in the movie Airplane
Heading straight for the ground
With an airline stewardess who
Had her head up her ass
And Carl Jung was the pilot.
He told me to relax,
Buckle my seat belt
And trust the process.

The slow grueling climb
Toward normality
Had gotten me nowhere
But suicidal and close to divorce
Suddenly we were in a nosedive
Gravity was pullling me down
Faster than a lead fly on Jupiter
I didn't see anything but the bed
For two weeks and cried:
I AM IN PAIN
And
LEAVE ME ALONE!

We hit some rough air
The stewardess passed out the straight jackets
And something to calm our nerves
I dreamed I was Jerry Lewis
Transformed from the Absent Minded Professor
To the lounge lizard Buddy Love
I crooned That Old Black Magic
To a crowd captivated
By my cool.

When I woke up
We were in a tailspin
The stewardess handed out prozac
Like mixed nuts
My vision blurred
My mouth went dry
I lost my ability to have orgasms
I prayed for a quick death.

Before I knew it
We were on the ground
The stewardess bowing modestly
Carl throwing kisses
To an adoring crowd
The band played
Flags waved
I headed for the terminal
Intent on taking
My baggage with me.
 

Sept. 27, 1995

©1995 J. Inuzuka

The author invites your comments.


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