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Part 3
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nah, i didn't go to work at all today.  got sick of it.  my ankle has
                been bitten by the new doc marten shoe bug and was throbbing last night
                so i blew work off completely.  fuck it, i'm tired of it.  tomorrow
                could be a shear hell since what will have most likely happened is
                instead of anyone picking up my slacker attitude, the secretary will
                just have scheduled everything for tomorrow, so i'll most likely have
                to do in one day what even I do in one, which is usually more than most
                people do in 4 hours, so i'll be squarely fucked.  but it's friday.  so
                i'm doubtin' you'll hear a pip-squeek out of me, dear.

the lazer has bit the dust.  now it's your hit music station.  i don't
                believe it.  here they are touting all their b.s. about how they're the
                sole survivor of the alternative scene and they're out the door, mixing
                top 40 hits with their pseudo-alternative music.  i listened the other
                day hearing this nasty ass top 40 hip-hop pop song (there is good
                hip-hop out there, but this wasn't with it), thinking the dj must have
                flipped a lid and decided to play some odd shit while knowing all along
                the lazer follows a strict protocol of regimented play lists; so i was
                only hoping upon all hope this particular dj had just lost it and
                decided they were walking out at the end of their shift to find greener
                radio pastures.  the prayers ended this morning when i heard an
                announcement for the upcoming brandi song, and while brandi is pretty
                as hell and can sing with the best of them she just doesn't cut it in
                this boy's music world.  if i were to have had a car wreck on the spot
                i would have had an alibi for not paying attention.  you want
                alternative, tune into to kjhk, lawrence, where you never know what the
                hell the dj will come up with.  90.7 fm.  good luck finding it out of
                lee's scummit. in fact, you may have problems getting into it across
                the state line.  it's a weak signal that just about covers most of
                johnson county.  didn't used to travel outside of lawrence but they got
                a boost in power early this year.  no commercials, just PSA's and some
                odd as hell music, depending on the mood of the person behind the
                booth.  true pirate style radio.  pizza pizza.
 

the whore fest encounter returned last night.  things are odd with us.
                we haven't spoken to each other in a week, her mom is moving back into
                town and probably in with her while they both look for a larger place,
                i'm moving further away from her so it won't be so easy to see each
                other without an extended drive.  she worries we won't survive, but
                we've been through all that before.  it's just strange because we sort
                of know we won't be seeing much of each other for awhile.

                ah, yes, those chiefs supporters (sort of an oxymoron at this point)
                out there on the streets of kc today, trying to hand out papers of the
                home opener.  bleh.  i didn't see one car stop to pick one up (paper
                that is).  the cheerleaders were getting ready to spread their legs on
                the corner of southwest trafficway and 31st street (strategically
                located near the fox 4 broadcast center so they could do some LIVE
                coverage).  i probably missed a few accidents as numerous not quite yet
                awake in the brain but they sure got enough blood in them to make up a
                quick morning wood male drivers strained their necks to get a peek.

                vroooommmm, vroooooommmm, baby, get your engines ready.  drink a beer,
                spit some chew, hoot and hollar like a wildcat, baby.  hope you come
                visit us in NASCAR country soon, darlin'.

and a NASCAR weekend it shall be.  gentlemen, start your engines.  i
                may  opt for grubby in all respects: appearance, hygiene, habits,
                gestures, the spoken word, etc.  take my worst clothing.  skip the
                shower.  shovel some chew in my jaw and spit while i'm talking, between
                picking the seeds out of my teeth.  talk like a hick.  a girl's gotta
                fit in, ya know?

yea, it's red friday.  apparently, because two honeys were passing out papers at my very office, though as I locked the jeep and neared the front door, they scurried across the parking lot in their little skirties to greet (a/k/a FLIRT WITH) the suits across the parking lot at the OTHER mama telco building. sooooooooo, i did manage to dodge THOSE chicklings, though i then walked directly under the two workmen who were perched high up on the pole (don't get any funny ideas), sanding the white putty they stuck all over the thing yesterday (ok, it DOES seems so masturbatory in nature, no??  two guys polishing their poles, rubbing away like there's no tomorrow), whilst the white dust fell all over my hair (metaphors crowding my mind.......), and my new jacket and shirt.  all this unbeknownst to me, of course, until a co-worker brought it to my attention that my, how my hair was graying.  i KNEW something was up, because i have a very, very close relationship with my hairdresser, know what i mean?  one look down (at my black sweater and red jacket) and i saw the white powder all over me.

great way to start the day, no?  in the bathroom knocking the stuff off the [NEW] outfit and trying to get the stuff out of my [formerly] good hair day.

you and the kate will be fine, just maybe a little less whoring for a time.  which you're both very accustomed to.  oh, you just wait.  maybe you'll even see MORE of each other after you move, and after mama moves in with her.  she'll be DYING for an escape, and lo and behold is a onsite, built in, ready to go BABYSITTER.

a whoring you shall go.  a whoring you shall go.  hi, ho the cherry OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH, a whoring you shall go.

why why why must i go a trashin' tomorrow????

my weekend was great really, but this morning at work turned into the
usual pile of what everyone else didn't do while i was gone, and this
woman who PRETENDS to work here (not our secretary) tried to schedule
an 8 a.m. vacation on my return.  uh, NO.  i'm not doing it (or doink
it for that matter).  uh.  so the guy comes in (he didn't pull out
obviously) at 8:45 asking where we are and how he TRIED to get us to
schedule it a month ago (way too far ahead in MY crystal ball, baby)
and he TRIED to this and that and he's CLEAR over on the other side of
town and i didn't CALL him on the mobile number he left for the very
same woman who couldn't write it down properly; yes, the very same one
who thought (or DIDN'T think) it would be a bright idea to piss me off
with an early morning inspection and a schedule that only a WORKER
could love on the day AFTER a four day weekend; and how he woes and
whines and aches in his tired old belly because i can't do it right
now as i point at the schedule previously referred to as hell and
state that it ain't gonna happen this morning, but i'll get to it
sometime today, hand me your keys, i'll mail you the check, now get
your butt on outta here, thank you very much.

i'd say italy, but i'd probably feel bomb tremors, so cancel that.
ITALY IS COOL. WINE. PASTA. SONG. BUT NO, BOMB TREMORS SCARE THE DOO
DOO OUT OF ME TOO TOO)

i'd be on a tropical island with 80 (OR 90) degree weather, 20%
humidity (SCRATCH THE HUMIDITY), a pina colada in my hand (poured into
freshly cut coconut, of course) (MAKE MINE A STRAWBERRY MARGARITA, WITH
A LITTLE UMBRELLA IN A BIG ASS GREEN MARGARITA GLASS), a blue-green,
crystal clear sea in front of me, (NO WAVES, YEP YEP) a few small boats
with white sails (AND OUR PRIVATE YACHT NAMED "HORSIE DOO"), two or
three beautifully tanned babes (AND DUDES) snorkeling with their butts
 (PENISES) raised above the calm water and no one else on the island,
not a hint of civilization (NOBODY BUT ME, YOU, THOSE BUTTS AND
PENISES, YUMMY YUM YUM).

at the touch of a button, the island would turn into an art deco
paradise, complete with suave hotels, bars; a house (10,000 SQUARE FEET
MINUMUM) with a swimming pool (INDOOR, OUTDOOR, SWIM UP TO BAR), hot
tub (THAT SEATS 20), limousines, movie stars (BRENDAN FRASIER, WHO
TENDS TO ME AND THE BAR), texas tea (YOUR NEW CAPPUCINO MACHINE, I
ASSUME??), black gold and the beverly hillbillies (UH, NO, NOT THOSE
GUYS).

so i guess i'd really rather be in the holo-deck, captain.  HOW 'BOUT
ANTIGUA INSTEAD, BABY?  MEET YA THERE.

how 'bout you?  UH.  LIKE COUNT ME IN, AND STUFF.

i can see you worrying and scurrying about your pants, your blouse,
your hair, in the middle of a midtown that doesn't exist, lost
somewhere beyond a desert highway, cool wind in your hair.  rising up
in the distance you saw a shimmering light and the alien ship invaded
your brain taking your vision along for the ride.

breaker one nine, NASCAR mama here, yea i got my ears on, bandit, you little rascal you.

oh, the weekend wasn't HALF as bad as i made it out to be.  i now know how to dust & wax a race car, pack the parachute, clean the windows, tow the thing with a 4-wheeler,  disassemble the hood, hood scoop, and set the valves.

reminds me of an "artist formerly known as prince" song......

she's got skills. (oh yea, baby's got skills)
she's go the potion and the motion
to ___ my emotion
she's got SKILLS.

that's me, baby.  SKILLS.  oh, there was an ABUNDANCE of white trash, you would have DIED at the spectators.  next time i'll know to:

1.  show up a day early and prepare a "camp sight" to be able to see the race, and invite all my family that is inbred;

2.  NOT to forget my 1963 rusted out ford flatbed truck, with old couch and chairs to substitute for bleachers.

3.  boycott brushing my teeth, dress worse.

lessons learned.  glad you thought of me.  more glad that you were enjoying a good booze & whore, spontaneous style.  that stuff just doesn't happen often enough, no?

caught an episode of cow & chicken recently, where cow wins a contest and gets to ride a rocket to the moon.  of course the other astronauts forgot to fuel the engine, so cow is stuck in outer space, when chicken sling shots himself into orbit to save her, though she saves him first.

ze baby is fine, but ze yahoo is not, no?  damn thing keeps flakin' on
                me.  gotta force feed this mule the data before it runs into a brick
                wall.  i'll betcha i just try to send this thing a flyin' and i get no
                data, or better yet, an illegal mail box state.  call the cia, the nsa,
                the fbi, get 'em down here to waco, yahoo quick.

did the full moon whore last night.  that's sort of like a full monty
                but much more fun.  my body and mind doth reject work in a major way.
                wednesday i'm bored out of my mind, sitting around doing nothink and i
                leave 3 hours early.  thursday i leave 5 hours early and take today off
                with permission from my boss.  of course, today everyone wants a piece
                of this meal, but i'm nowhere to be found.  i'm sucking down a
                quadruple espresso latee, iced of course, and getting ready to enjoy
                the weekend. i've been scurrying around from here to there, selling
                books, mailing videos, talking to dealers in high end audio equipment,
                etc.  my life is a changin'.  times, they are a changin' (you can hear
                the strained voice of bob dylan in the background, can't you?).  how's
                my dear?  still got that telco heat on?

no full moon whoring here.  glad you did, tho.

i'm giving more than enough to mama telco these days. no time for much else.  i'm a home today, working for mama.  went to crawford's this morning to replace the motors in the driver AND passenger windows that stopped working 2+ months ago.  now the moon roof is threatening to do the same.  and the transmission is clunking like it will fall out of the jeep at any given moment.  i've had that looked at, and the big intimidating guy tells me it's my imagination.  fucker.  hubby even called up about it....he has contacts there....and lo and behold, a new "alert" comes out this week on the 99s about this very problem.  so he assures the hubster it will be fixed whilst i am there and do you think that happened?  oh no.  and maybe, just maybe, if one of these fuckers could POSSIBLY find it in their heart to communicate with MUWAH, then maybe that could have happened too, but no.  no no no.  talk is cheap, it seems.  and my time (4 hours today, and 4 visits to the dealer prior.....3 hours each) is for nuthink.

                so what be shaking with yo fine self today, my sweet?  who owns your
                ass today?

hmmm, is this a lease from hell or what?  sorry to hear it.  i hate
                leases.  i like having cars paid off when they're done.  mine won't be
                soon enough, i'll tell you that.  bleh, i just want to snooze all day.
                snooze and whore, snooze and whore.  ah, such is life.  i'll get killed
                with work monday, i'll place bets on it.  for now i care not.  i'll be
                screaming later.  hope you have a grand weekend, free from nascar
                races. you'll be locked into another one soon, so beware.

                mama telco and mci a problem?  don't think so.  look what happened with
                chrysler/benz.  no problems there and i don't see a difference really.
                besides, there are all kinds of smaller companies popping up, which
                opens the can for the big guys to get together.  hell, why not att join
                the lot?  no problem. still got smaller companies at their heels and if
                those big boys don't watch it the residential business will leave their
                asses with the larger companies right behind them (time warner will
                take you all for what you're worth).  now THAT i can see being a
                problem, when t/w steps up and wants to buy two or three large telecom
                companies.  we've got anti-trust here, but reno has it if the wind
                blows up her skirt the wrong direction.

yea, it's a lease.  thought i'd try it on for size.  i've purchased everything in the past.  though, with new car prices going so high, and me keeping cars for only 2-3 years, i wasn't building any equity anyway.  i just screwed up with i picked this particular suv.  i'm putting off reading the fine print on the lease....the section that speaks about how to get out of the thing.  probably something like getting out of a 401-K.  they take 40% or more for penalty.  but it's
not THAT bad, it just pisses me off that i get the FIRST new car i've ever had, and already i've been to the shop with it more than my last 2 cars together.

you should be outside perfecting your tan.  uh.  or something.  btw, telco/mci is NOTHINK like benz/chrysler.  all this will do, provided it ever gets anywhere and i'm counting on the fact that it WILL NOT, is create another mega company for the justice department to knock back down.

yeah, it's much like chrysler/benz.  you should jump ship.  i wouldn't
                want to work for the company man.  i'd hate it.  the pay and benes
                would be great, but the bullshit would tire me to no end.  all this
                will do is slow down the long distance price wars a bit, and create
                higher prices for end-user fees (in-your-end-oh fees) because the big
                boys will charge the small fry more to use their lines and the consumer
                will pay out the ass for it, hence the end-user fee terminology, which
                fits like a glove. now i wouldn't doubt that reno will try to file some
                frivolous action against them, but she can't really because the deal
                would have to be cleared by them first to begin with, or the fcc, or
                somebody and you can't have one government entity saying okay and the
                other entity saying 'whoa, horsey' without a major lawsuit on your
                hands, now can we?

                oh, this is the best news ever, speaking of mergers, nation's bank is
                getting their ass sued by a legal team for overcharging and
                overassessing fees to consumers (as if we don't know what put that arm
                of the company under).  class action netting each consumer
                approximately $50.  i love it.  BEFORE those assholes nickel and dimed
                me to death i bailed.

you are stubborn as a mule.  it is NOT, i repeat, NOT like chrysler benz. in THAT example, one company was global, and one domestic.  one high price, one affordable.  they had assets that each other needed and thus a merger was born.  they merged to cover the spectrum of price and quality.  bottom to top.

mci and telco on the other hand are very much alike.  both domestic, both with [basically] the same assets, with some noted exceptions such as pcs (which will NOT be part of the deal).  the only thing the merger will create is (1) a company to rival the giant at&t in size, (2)  less jobs and more layoffs, and (3) more for janet reno to bitch about which i support.

deutsche and telco, on the other hand, have a REASON to merge.  they have assets that the other desperately needs.  in joining, they can provide things together in the market that each could not do alone.  value.

can you GET IT NOW???  anyway, i guess i don't really care what happens.  the future is wireless anyway.  you think time warner is the way.  i BOLDLY disagree, and tell you that unless they make a wireless play, all they have is cable and internet that slows as more users
subscribe.  end of story.  they don't have fat enough pipes to do better.  they would be better with a telco, and try to get all three markets: cable, internet and long distance.

much of this won't matter anyway.  but if i were a betting woman, i'd put my money in the wireless carriers.  long distance is going away, dalink.  as soon as voice of ip is here and it reliable (and it ain't that far away) you'll see a big change.

i agree, wireless will be our way for long distance and total phone
                service, but the net will not be able to cope with wireless for quite
                some time.  that's where the full service shit with cable will kick in
                and take over.  the home will be connected with cable connections for
                phone, television, appliances (yes all of them), internet service, on
                line digital video, music, etc.  sisco predicts this and i agree with
                their prediction.  consumers will opt for that choice, or (most likely
                AND) local and long distance wireless phone service.  the price of the
                package for the cable thing may just price the wireless thing out of
                the market, or people will need and opt for both options since they're
                so mobile to begin with.  think about sitting at your
                television/computer and conferencing it all up via cable speaker phone
                while laying down in that leather couch, margarita in hand, and tell me
                the casual in home user will go wireless for their in house
                conversations.  i'll bet against that any day of the year.  i think the
                casual consumer will use both systems in the end.  they like it in the
                end, baby.  and i believe time warner will set up shop with a wireless
                provider soon and they control much more media than
                telco/mci/deutschland ever thought about controlling.  does this
                conversation mean a damn thing anyway?  it's fascinating, darling, but
                you know, my mind is going and in the end (there's that topic of love
                again) none of this means shit.  just something for miss reno to get
                her panties out of kilter for.

i don't disagree with what you're saying.  but look at the new pcs phone with display and internet.  it's sexy, babe and it WORKS.  it's out there, too.

maybe a better point (since we seem to be going tit for tat) is that the companies are surely morphing.  cable companies morphing into something with value (for a change).  long distance companies morphing into isp's.  cellular companies morphine into isp's and content providers.

'tis truly the advent of the merger.  but merging just to be the biggest, baddest company on the block (telco & mci) is not a good strategy.  telco with a german company, we get global, they get domestic.  we got wireless.  all we lack is cable.  we tried cable (had 3 partners and spun them off) because they didn't know how to (or more appropriately, nobody knew how to) play nice nice together, so we split.  agree, the telco/cable partnership is healthy & strong.  but it lacks wireless.  both are gaining internet.  technology works in both places, but cable is slow (when add more subscribers) and wireless is small (hard to see on the screen size, which btw is growing).

i don't like small screens, baby.  i like the wide-open field, the more
                push for my end-oh.  i'm small, i want large.  give it to me, baby,
                uh-huh, uh-huh.  and if wireless and the small boy toy are the wave of
                the future i'll laugh my ass off.  it'll be a flash in the pan,
                neato-gimmicko-gotta-have-for-the-geek-in-the-office sort of toy and
                then it'll die just like the little nintendo machines did.  the wave of
                the future is, and always will be, the couch potato bring me everything
                to one place, let me control all functions from the chair and a mobile
                unit in my car and that will be the way to go.  you got three places
                you hang at the most:  the car, the couch, the office.  supply services
                and merge them to THOSE prime-time locations, and i mean every
                available form of communication and control, and you're the ONE, the
                right one, baby, and don't you forget it.  you can tap into that shit
                with the little mobile units that create fun in the sun, fly off the
                wall, cheap, diversionary entertainment, but those, in my world, will
                be ACCESSORIES and not the big boy i want so much.  you know i love ya,
                baby.  now bring me some cow and chicken a la mode, honey.  jus' one
                touch of your button, and you'll be feelin' better.  youser.
                vrrooommm, vrrooomooom, honey, can you change my gears for the big
                daddy?  swing me some grit, baby (spit, spit).  now fetch me a beer.

does this mean everything is approved, and you officially have the barney lair?  when does he move?  when do you [officially] move?  did you give notice on your apartment?  is your pussy nervous yet?  those kitties can get SOOOOOOO upset with the smallest of moves, like moving a chair from one side of the room to another, or god forbid you move their litter box.  you're bound to have wads of furballs and assorted vomit over a REAL move of this magnitude.  note: purchase disinfectant. quickly.

chris rock gets away with MURDER.  i love him.  amazing that he has any friends at all, as nothink is off limits with him.  he defines RAW, no?

i love the old snl, which is what was showcased.  gilda radner, eddie  murphy, martin short, steve martin, lorraine newman, dennis miller.  that's when it was REALLY funny.

i had the weirdest dream last night.  i dreamed the jeep would not steer properly, and it was raining hard (wonder where i got THAT idea), and i ran off the highway and landed on the roof of an applebee's restaurant.  did a lot of damage and i was physically beaten about the
car.  so hubby (who is following me, and witnesses the entire event) suggests we go inside and grab a table, order some food, and discuss the disaster rationally with the manager.  the ultimate in frustrating dreams.  like i just got in a wreck and i'm hurting and bleeding all
over, and you want some freaking chicken wings and beer?  i could have killed him.  but no.

you talk about a fucking nightmare.  swb says i'm with worldcom, then i
                say i'm with atn, then i call 'atn' and they say i'm not with them at
                all but with america's telenetwork, which also uses the atn name, which
                is in fact supposed to be a reseller of mci/worldcom's system, which
                has me as their provider BUT i'm with this atn company that resells
                their shit so i have a carrier blah blah blah and i'm fucking calling 3
                dozen people to figure out whom, in fact, i have as my long distance
                provider so that i can assure myself that the company gets transferred
                along with my phone service even though swb says they'd do it they
                won't guarantee shit so i'd better call them and i'm finally on the
                right track but i'm hung up on by the automated system because
                apparently they're too busy to take calls right now, thank you very
                much.  all of this bullshit because mci/worldcom can't seem to provide
                long distance to anyone for 9 cents a minute WITHOUT monthly fees of
                $4.95 and up.  if the bastards would just offer the shit at the right
                price to begin with people wouldn't be jumping from one company to
                another every two weeks to get the best rates.  so now i call the
                'other' atn and they say they're associate with telco and not with
                worldcom and i should call their asses back to see who my provider is
                (as i've done before so many times).  i have no idea who my provider
                is.  now mci says no, we don't have an active account.  atn says no
                way, even though i signed up with them two months ago.  apparently no
                one has me as their provider.  i'm about ten seconds away from
                canceling all of my long distance accounts and never making a long
                distance call again.  why isn't there a way to tell who the hell your
                LD carrier is by pinging the phone?  that's ridiculous as well.  all
                this modern technology for nothing.

i don't like today, but when i have i really?  i go home for a quick
                lunch and my electricity's out.  god knows if it'll be there when i get
                back.  i'll hate life if it isn't.  i'm way too busy most of the day
                and now i'm bored, have things to do but can't do them because i'm
                waiting on other people to do what they have to do so i can do what i
                do so well.  ever have that problem?  you can't get your work done
                because you're relying on the input of others and you've got a half
                dozen odds and ends scraps of paper staring at you asking you why they
                can't be removed from your various desks.

                this bozo i had planned on making a sale to (expensive stereo gear
                auctioned at ebay) has taken over 6 weeks to attempt to finalize the
                purchase of the item.  i told him i sold it and warned him not less
                than two weeks ago to follow through with an agreed upon portion of the
                transaction or i will back out of the deal.  so today (over 2 weeks
                later) he e-mails me and says he's shipping me another box for the
                other unit (which should have been done around 4 weeks ago at best) and
                the rest of the funds (which were supposed to be done COD only).  what
                the fuck's up with that shit?  i told him i sold them, and gave him
                plenty of warning before doing so as in 'if i don't receive the other
                box by the end of this week (some two weeks ago) i'm backing out of the
                sale'. i hear nothing from him at all until today.  oh, i did hear
                something.  it was 'i'll get the box to you asap'.  yeah, right.  no
                deal.  he gave me a deposit and as far as i'm concerned it's
                non-refundable.  if he begs me for it and threatens to sue, i'll give
                him only part of that deposit back, minus what ebay charged me for
                commission, baby.  i can't get that back after 60 days, so he can kiss
                my hiney.  it's funny how ebay has this statement that if you agree to
                sell something you're legally obligated and they have no contract
                whatsoever.  i guess it would be dependent upon local state contract
                but how do two persons across the country every legally hammer out
                anything with state law varying from state to state?  an interesting
                problem, no?

hellfino, how that is when i don't even know what it is, let alone what
                is is.

                don't forget the little NSA in bed with the telecom companies as well,
                baby.

                yahoo is scorin' and whorin' this evening.  damn.

                the gas company cut gas tonight when they were supposed to cut it next
                month on the 29th.  fucking morons.  i knew this move wouldn't be
                smooth.  i knew one of those dumbshit utilities would fuck up a wet
                dream.  at least i don't rely on it for heat.  that's the landlord's
                baby, not that he's turned it on yet, the asshole.
yah, the hoo is whoring and i wish i was.  work today is busy, but good
                because it's friday, otherwise i'd have to kill someone.  got a meeting
                real quick, donuts and such.  so i gotta go.  glad you are easing up.
                let's all move to memphis, darling.  nascar abounds.  chew me.

well, i dunno, i had an okay weekend.  kind of boring really.  how
                'bout you?  i'm sure things will get much more interesting in the
                coming weeks.  i'm taking the 18th through the 22nd off for a pre move
                or post move fiesta, who knows which?  i should start to move in more
                heavily (le pant, le pant) after this weekend, so we'll see how things
                go.  work is boring me to tears already, i'll have loads to do when i
                get back.  bleh.  no nascar racing this weekend?  no 'let's move on
                down to memphis' calls this weekend?  hubby would LOVE that, i'm sure.
                be right down there with the locals and the buddies.
 

                INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE
                0. Eat much brown rice.
                1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
                2. Memorize your favorite poem.
                3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep
                all you
                want.
                4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
                5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
                6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
                7. Believe in love at first sight.
                8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
                9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's
                the
                only
                way to live life completely.
                10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
                11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
                12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
                13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer
                smile
                and ask,"Why do you want to know?"
                14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve
                great risk.
                15. Call your mum.
                16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
                17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
                18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for
                others;
                Responsibility for all your actions.
                19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
                20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate
                steps to
                correct it.
                21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it
                in
                your
                voice.
                22. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older,
                their
                conversational skills will be as important as any other.
                23. Spend some time alone.
                24. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
                25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
                26. Read more books and watch less TV.
                27. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and
                think
                back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
                28. Trust in God but lock your car.
                29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important, so do
                all you
                can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
                30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current
                situation. Don't bring up the past.
                31. Read between the lines.
                32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
                33. Be gentle with the earth.
                34. Pray. There's immeasurable power in it.
                35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
                36. Mind your own business.
                37. Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes
                when you
                kiss.
                38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
                39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others
                while
                you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
                40. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a
                stroke
                of
                luck.
                41. Learn the rules then break some.
                42. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love
                for
                each other is greater than your need for each other.
                43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to
                get
                it.
                44. Remember that your character is your destiny.
                45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

baby doll, let's all go down to memphis, let's all go down to memphis.
                good that only mci took telco.  the CEO's and owner must be smiling
                all the way to the bank.  hope everything stays calm for you and the
                city and they don't make any wild decisions.  mci should move here.
                period.  i vote for that.

                just taking a break in my day to tell ya i miss you and love you.
                you're the best.  don't you forget it.  you make a chicken proud.

cow and chicken yesterday was hilarious with chicken eating the frosted
                coffee flakes and being wired for three days.  hope you saw it, you
                could probably use some humor.  hope things don't change too
                drastically for you.

oh yes.  i did manage to catch cow & chicken yesterday.  did you see SOW and chicken too?  HYSTERICAL, i must say.  love that show.

i'm just being thoughtful.  i'm okay, you're okay.  sounds like the
                makings for a good book already written some years ago.  yeah, i've
                seen the sow and chicken episode.  i never laughed so hard (laghted) as
                i did with the coffee flakes episode.  man, that was a screamer.  SHUT
                YOUR PIE HOLE.  amazing that woman does her voice and ma's voice too.
                of course, all the rest are done by one person.  how to get into
                character, geez.

i'm bored to tears, riding out the rest of the day and week.  saturday
                i move the rest of the big stuff with a work buddy.  won't take but a
                few hours is my best guess.  borrowed his van last week and moved a
                bunch of small chairs and what not.  didn't take long.  the van is a
                wreck though.  the brakes barely worked the entire time.  i thought i'd
                die and go straight to hell along i-35, the path to hell, but i got
                lucky i guess.  he's since had the brakes fixed and will be driving
                this weekend as far as i'm concerned.  'nah, i'll follow ya'.  images
                of fireballs abound.  whatcha been doin', cow?  you know, most women
                don't like to be called 'cow', so it is with great affection that i use
                this name.  i jus' wanna goooo hoommmmmmmeeeee.  moooooooooooo.
 

chicken,
cow in training today.  back of room.  internet connection.  nobody can see screen.
cool, huh?  let's play..............cow going CWAZY.
HUNGWY, too.

chicken leg?
cow DYINK......

vewy vewy slow death............
no chicken contact......................

you no eat a my chicken leg, cow.  you so horngry, you love me long time.  me love you LONG, LONG time.

if me were alive.............

please revive.  big lunch at yaya's.  need a snappy.

i got your snappy.  i'm getting ready to head out the front door to the
                white mister 2, which is at my shop getting herself lubed up and ready
                for some more action.  i got the baja winter wheels and tires on it so
                i can sit around and wait for it to snow in the next three months.
                probably won't happen.  wish i could chat but the day is short and my
                time is modified.  besides for the last couple of days the office has
                been a bit crowded.  no private land line time to gab.

what's new, chicken?  told anybody to SHUT YER PIEHOLE today?  it wouldn't be monday if you didn't.

i bet you're whirling around like a texas dust storm in july.  doin' more in 4 than ordinary folks in 8.  leaving nothing but wreckage in your path-o-fury.

how's my boy this hot summer day?

silly wabbit, i'm not doin' nuthin' but loungin'.  i gots to lounge.  i
                can't believe they removed us from cartoon cartoon fridays.  man, the
                nerve.

dalink,

it's time to write the book, my friend. THE book.  i suppose the "merger" has pushed me to pursue something different.  and since i work in business development (most new business being on HOLD for the next year until the regulators bless this mess and the powers that be
 receive permission to collectively fire our asses), i have the time to  (1) better myself professionally, and (2) write more (i.e., FINISH  something, in preparation for the big career change which may or may  not ever arrive, but which WILL at least be pursued on a part time  basis).

are you in?

here's the plan.  the book will be in diary form, with excerpts of email chats between you and me.  we start anew.  we meet again, perhaps in the exact same way, and the banter begins.  all BOOK emails will bear the subject line "chat" .... all others (normal, every day, non-book stuff) can say whatever.  for book stuff, i need to distinguish which folder to file in, for future reference.  we will, in essence, pursue two parallel paths.  both friendships (current & proposed), though one more mature than the other.  dig?

moo.  this has been a cow production.  over & out.

sounds great, but uh, i, like, threw the safety deposit box out the
                door, my fairy princess friend.  i don't get it.  i mean, i do, but
                then we have that cut and paste document that's so fun and such a good
                beginning, don't we?  or is it just me?  are you faking again?  that
                pretty much sums up our ability to banter with the best of them, no?
                otherwise we ain't got much limb to stand on.  so we he have this chat
                line in the subject and what the hell does it mean, other than we write
                about our lives in typical fashion for the world to see and we go back
                to edit it later.  i'm IN the clubhouse.  character names are good.  we
                could call the book 'why don't we do this thing?' or 'let's do this
                thing', hell, i dunno.  don't much care.  i mentioned some other
                nonsensical b.s. earlier and it fell into the abyss of silence.  get me
                started, give me a jump start and a quickie to get the balls rollin'.
                rollin', rollin', rollin' RAWHIDE.  oohhh, baby.

baby doll, don't you know you're supposed to get a drop of 40 degrees
                and potential rain on saturday?  planning weddings in october is
                dangerous. they're coming inside, trust me.  no one's getting married
                on a 40 degree day with clouds and no sun in the outdoors.  looks like
                you're going to be spared possibly.  accuweather says 58 and a shower
                in the morning.  cloudy though.  not much sun.  better have those 3
                piece suits on, the girls with full underlings, etc.  they were talking
                possible snow on sunday as of yesterday.  weather channel is down for
                the count. usually their forecasts differ from each other slightly but
                show a pretty good average, unlike our local clowns who glamorize
                forecast swings on the order of 10 degrees as if they were used car
                dealers.

i'm a movin' the movin' up to today.  gonna strike at the big stuff
                like a cobra mid day and get it rollin' rollin' rollin'.  i don't feel
                like burning tomorrow doing it and it'll be more glum.  i need all the
                upbeat i can get to motivate.  i'm already sore as hell.  my back doth
                protest. maybe enough pain pills and beer would do a body good.  mmmmm,
                got beer? so i'm outta here no later than noon to get me settled in.
                the pussy is just gonna have to freak it tonight.  poor thing.  not
                sure she even suspects it just yet, but the picture will be clear as
                day when i take her spot beside me in bed down and out the door.

day is fine.  you stimulate the economy with those greenbacks.  i've
                been doing a bit of the same but trying to keep stable on stuff until i
                figure out how much bills cost around this place.  they shouldn't be
                too bad.  the good news is i owe on the house and the car and that's
                it. no credit card debt.  it's gone.  and i got a few pennies in the
                bank, which i'm hoping to hold on to a bit of.  unfortunately i've got
                to buy s couple of track lights, etc., and they're not cheap in the
                halogen variety.  not bad though but after spending $150 on two more of
                them my bank account starts squealin' like a pig.  just hanging around
                being lazy.  contemplating returning the cable box to the nasty cable
                people. i do so hate to run errands when i have nothing to do but one
                thing on the agenda.  makes me ill.  i suppose i could run by the
                apartment and get a few last bits of marble and a halogen lamp i
                forgot, but i can do that later when i meet my friend so he can pick up
                one last art piece.  bleh.  other than that i'm not doing much of
                anything.  i look around at the few boxes i have and don't want to do
                much with them.  i guess i'm being about as lazy as i can, more or
                less.  isn't that what vacations are for?

                sounds like you've got the plan, baby.  oh, behave.  you devil.  i'm
                prying my vcr open to tape crash, a cronenberg film, adapted from the
                j.g. ballard novel of the same variety (written 25 years previous)
                about auto-eroticism (not of the automatic variety but of the vehicular
                variety).  i remember reading the novel some 10 or so years ago and
                enjoying it and rosanne arquette is in it, along with holly hunter and
                the spader-man, and i can't resist arquette in a decent movie (and
                she's had some stupid ones) for the life of me, so i'm there.  yes,
                she's another one of my mortal beloveds.  i don't know why really.
                she's not gorgeous, but her eyes and child-like whimsical flirtations
                tickle my bone, baby.

                bleh, off this terminal for now.  i'm terminated on the terminal.  my
                eyes thank me later.  beer and dinner time.  yum.

it's friday.  and i'd like to tell somebody to "shut yer pie hole" just to do it, but no.  i'll refrain.  i'm going riding this weekend.  have 3 that need worked out and the weather should cooperate, so that will be nice.  no wedding to plan for.  no where to go.  nuthink i must do.
how nice.

holly hunter.  funny you should mention HER.  last night whilst i was
avoiding watching the one actually decent chiefs game, i watched the
last half of a movie called "copy cat" and holly hunter and sigourney
weaver were the female leads.  have you seen it?  about a serial killer
that imitates the (well known, well documented) crimes of others.
aside from being rather gory and graphic subject matter, this movie was
so well done.  can't wait to catch the first half.  holly was
fantastic.

work is work and it's pissing me off because i have a shitload of
                inspections tomorrow and this absolute dumbass contractor is asking
                when i'll be at his pier inspection so i chewed barbara's head off
                saying i wasn't doing shit and i have no idea.  poor lady.  i abuse her
                all the time when i'm in one of my moods.  of course, council is so
                frantic here i don't know what will come of their agenda to investigate
                this department (no one else seems worthy) for salaries, necessity of
                personnel, etc.  the chief building inspector at gardner resigned
                effective immediately and there's a lot of hub-bub about that too.  of
                course, gardner didn't pay him jack.  i was making almost as much when
                i was with kcmo.  now THAT'S pathetic.  i don't know how he put up with
                it to begin with.  he applied for this job as well and i beat him out
                of it.

                this job we issued a permit for did so much shit we told them not to do
                and now they're using a paint booth without our approval and shit like
                that is really getting to me.  you give them an inch and they take a
                mile and that shit isn't going to fly with me.  i feel like dragging
                their asses to court and shutting their building down.  that's how bad
                it irritates me right now because every mom and pop asshole does it to
                me.

                i can't wait to get out of here and forget about this place.  i've been
                coming in at 7 and leaving at 3.  that's how much i want to get away
                before the end of the day.

                i do hope your day and week are more boring than mine.  well, not
                boring but less busy.

wow, now THAT was a good rant.  one of your best.
 
 

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