While visiting Las Vegas for the first time, I stumbled upon a performance art group that I had heard somewhere before back in my college theatre days. The show, called Blue Man Group, was performing nightly and I felt the need to attend. I am trippingly happy I did. While difficult to explain, they blend humor, sound, music, art and theatre into something that is visually addicting and emotionally explosive. They include the audience in their performance space, and encourage them to decorate themselves with white crepe paper. With the help of BMG, every ounce of the space around you becomes electric with the excited spirit of people who are alive and happy for about an hour and a half. The "Blue Men" share the experience with you and completely abolish the fourth wall. They address you directly with dead pan faces, and while the "Blue Men" themselves do not speak, there are message boards and speaker-fed voices that lead you on. And the drums!! Pounding tribal beats into your torso with the force of rockets. Sending thunderous waves of sound that involuntarily move your body.

I cannot fully explain the experience to one who has not attended, but suffice to say it was my most memorable from the trip. It was something Anton Artaud (Theatre of Cruelty) would be proud of. After the show, I went up to each "Blue Man" to personally thank them for my experience. (They do speak! I was whispered a compliment on my smile..thanks guys *blush*) I left the Luxor, where they were performing, in tears. They came suddenly and gratefully, like the feeling of the sun blinding your eyes. I had been *affected* by them. I had been brought to absolute happiness, and allowed to share that moment with everyone around me. We were together in the temple of joy, free to experience the kind of simple abandon that children get when they laugh out loud. I wept all the way back to my hotel.

It has also been Renaissance Faire time for me again. After a stressful bought of performances at my local faire, I have been looking to buff up my palm reading skills, and perhaps continue my Ren Faire experience in that arena instead of working as a quarterstaff fighter. While having risen to the level of trainer and director amoung my group, I debate on the personal happiness gained by my involvement. But, then again...things may work themselves out. They usually do.

At the faire I met with a healer who had worked her profession for quite some time, and who's opinion I trusted by reputation. During our 45 minute session an animal, clear as day, held my gaze in my mind's eye. A tiger. I did not expect to see anything, though she advised that I might. Afterwords, I spoke with her regarding my vision. She told me of a change coming. That I was entering a time when I was to look inward and go through a great change. Interestingly, I had had my spirit guide cards read earlier by a different traveling group, and they had said the same thing. That I was in a comfortable, centered spot, but that I was about to shed my old skin and emerge a new person. That what I know now was nothing compared to what I was to know.

I began to think on this. Search for what was coming. I've had dreams of levitated meditation where I am seeking an "other" world (spritual or inner, I'm still not sure yet) and get flashes of pictures, colors, shapes. Things yet unidentifiable. After a long respite, I've sought out my artificial means of reaching my subconsious. I explored many things in that state. Mandala's and their function in meditation...I now believe they may act as a portal to the subconscious, allowing you to focus your concentration in order to follow a tunnel to enlightenment. Returning the body to the earth once the electric energy has left it...I now think it is cruel to embalm and bury a body and never allow it to return to the earth, to complete its cycle. Burn me if you must, but please DO NOT pack me neatly away to take up space in a {lovingly creepy though it may look} cemetary. But in all my cranial wanderings, I did not acheive that transition I was looking for. That metamorphosis that had been forecasted. I'm beginning to believe that while it is true I am to come into bloom, I am to be a late bud, and that I must wait for the time to come when I am ready to know more.

In this same arena of thought, I have had other "experiences" that my cynical brain is trying to attribute to eccentricity, imagination and ego, but that my spiritual side does not want to dismiss. I have held a conversation with a friend and suddently pictured a deja vu-like scene where we are in the late 1800's and the gal I'm speaking with is about to be carried off to be persecuted as a witch, when she is nothing more than a child of nature. I have done a recent palm reading where I picked up more from feeling around for images off of the girl's ring and hearing her thoughts, then from the lines on her hand. Concise, clear images..nothing vague. And these images were confirmed with the girl. Again, I am of a very cynical and down to earth mind. Still the atheist at heart. I do not believe many others who talk of visions or experiences of this nature, and try to talk myself out of believing what I have seen and felt. Having been raised by my methodical Aries father, I don't believe what I cannot experience through my senses. And yet I wonder if my need to lead people into happiness and my emerging skills into reading people, getting into them, understanding them, is leading up to something...

I do feel that something is coming. That I am only to be in the place I am living, in the life I am living, for another 2 years or so. I do not know what I'll be doing or where I'll be living after that. My own palm indicates great change in my late 20's/early 30's, and I have been fearing this, as I fear all change. Frankly, I'm scared. I have full understanding that I am in control of my own destiny, that the stars (or whatever) do not rule me...but I know change is coming. I hope it will be good.

And so, this is what I bring to you. Many kudo's and warm fuzzies for any of you who take the time to wade through all of my entries. I don't know how I came to be so exhibitionistic about my life, but it's your's to see...to connect with if I can offer any help in your own experiences.

Until later my lovlies...take good care of yourselves

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