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A-Typical male's journal. |
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| I'm writing this before I've caught up, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, though. |
Today was pretty uneventful at work. Not much goes on there of note, really. I've got 3 or 4 ongoing projects in various states of repair, and have an inherited application that goes from 'nothing to do' to 'hot' periodically. That happened today, but I should finish the changes by the end of the week I uploaded the last of the back-entries that dealt with Moose and Squirrel today, and finally closed that piece off. Now I can start focusing on the wedding, and writing about what's going on in my life day-to-happy-day. My aunt made it down again tonight, she's selling bag-ads in Monroe, and staying at our place because it's cheaper. Normally she'd, trade a couple of ads for a few nights of motel space, but then she loses her commission for those ads. So we let her stay at our place when she's nearby. Minimal fuss, and she walks the dog for us. Azura's on an 11-7 schedule this week, so we had some time to chat before she came home. A little after 7 the phone rang. I figured it was Azura telling me she was going to work late, but it wasn't. It was Squirrel. She didn't realize she never called us, telling me that those two days of driving to Michigan were something of a haze for her. She gave me her new number, and talked to me for awhile. She sounded like shit. Pretty upset, tired, hadn't talked to Moose but twice in the past two weeks. Didn't know where she was going to live (her first choice was already gone). I told her she could come here if she wanted, reopening that offer. She told me she was considering it. I got her number and got off the phone, so she could call her parents. Azura called a few minutes later, and told me she was on the way. I told her briefly about the call, and then went to Subway with my aunt to get some dinner. Not long after we got back, Azura came home and we ate. Azura had called Squirrel before I was done eating. When she got of the phone she contradicted my whole picture of Squirrel. Said she seemed bouncy, happy, and was staying in Michigan. I guess she made a decision. That always changes me from sad to happy, hopeless to hopeful. I just wish she had come here. No, not really. I mean it would be nice, but I don't want her in my life until she decided what the heck she wants. I can't deal with this, this, dangling of possibility always lingering out there. Leave me alone, or come home, quit playing with my emotions. No, she doesn't know how I feel, or rather, I haven't told her. Azura wanted her to come too, but she's less emotional about it. The really ironic thing was, I had told Azura I was done with the journal entries about them, and I was glad that chapter was closed. I want to get on with my life, deal with people that are going to be around. Like Azura. And I'd convinced myself that they were gone forever. Dammit. Generic Joe's A Typical Male
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