|
A-Typical male's journal. |
|
|||||
| What do you want? |
I was venting online yesterday, and I worried that Azura didn't know what she wanted. She was having a hard day, being moved back again to third shift, and dealing with the cats and christmas tree. She told me she was going to look again for another job. I sighed inwardly, and grabbed LadyDawn to vent. By the time I'd calmed down, I called Azura back, and she had calmed down, too, and things weren't as bad as I'd let them pent up to be. This wasn't a major crisis, just one of those things that worry me. Add to that some of my own insecurities, and I need to just get that worry out. Because the truth is, I don't know what I want either. Maybe Azura does know what she wants, but I'm just assigning her with my own shortcoming. I haven't know what I wanted since long before I started this journal. I do have a somewhat nebulous idea of what I want. And I have some ideas for what I don't want. So, at least that's a start. I want to do something creative. As I've said many times before, I'm tired of programming. One of my personal goals is to not be doing this in a couple of years. It's about the opposite goal of everyone else I know, since the money here is pretty good. But in a few years there are going to be a lot of us, and the need won't be as high. No more year 2k problem for managers to worry about. Good programmers will have jobs, and I'm not a bad programmer, but my heart just isn't in it anymore. So I keep searching. Maybe one day I'll really know.
Azura called me later; her office had called and told her not to come in. They didn't have enough work for her. She's still a temp there, and the full employees get the bulk of the work. Azura mainly fills in. I keep hoping they will hire her, and let her work, but that's a bit down the road. Azura decided to go ahead and go to the appointment she made today. I have to respect that. The other problem we had was the kitten. Azura worked very hard and put up a beautiful tree, but the kitten destroyed it. All the balls on the lower half of the tree had fallen, several had then been broken, and the garland was slowly being pulled off the tree. As we lay in bed last night, we tried locking the cats in our room, to keep them from going crazy on the tree. Instead they went crazy in our room, and Azura couldn't sleep...and therefore I couldn't either. She finally gave up and opened our bedroom door, and let the cats roamed. I held her in my arms as the stress overtook her, and she cried. The problem with kittens is they destroy everything. You can have nice things, but only certain kinds of nice things--Christmas trees are really tough. If anyone has a solution for keeping kittens away from christmas trees, please let us know. Azura desperately wanted a tree, and I'd like to be able to see that she has one. Generic Joe's A Typical Male
|
||||
|
|||||