 | Hello there honey, it's me, your serving wench Kenetta, once again.
I have a tragic story to relate to you. It is about an accident that befell some of my good friends. Hopefully you can learn from this ill-fated tale of boredom, booze and college students so that it doesn't happen again. You may be able to save the life of the one you love! |
       |
A few of my college friends were sitting in their dorm one evening, eating pizza, drinking beer, watching The Golden Girls, and being bored. One of the hot, tight little boys suggested they go cow tipping. Andi's drinking had gone out of control, and in this sadly altered state, she volunteered to flip the first cow. Being a delicate female in fear of chipping a nail (and let me tell you, girlfriend, those nails were beautiful, she has them done by the same hunk I do,) she went for a small calf. It seemed harmless enough, but as she set out to do the dirty drunken deed, a heifer strolled her way. Her friends tried to warn her but it was much too late! The weight of the steak-to-be crushed her legs! It was a horrible sight to behold. Her distraught, young virile boyfriend Pacey rushed off to call 911! Oh, the horror! The doctors told her she would never walk again. Many of her friends came to visit, but the damage was done. "I shouldn't have had that seventeenth beer," Andi was heard to lament. One desperately rainy day, (a day with clouds such a putrid color that none of my dresses seemed to suit the horrid weather,) some evangelists with the God-given power to heal dropped by the hospital. Would there be a miracle? Pessimistic Andi was out of hope. Her boyfriend Pacey urged her on. Oh, how romantic! (sniff) When Andi held the Good Book in her arms, (and felt Pacey's fleshy dagger sheathed snugly in his jeans behind her,) she suddenly had the will to live once again! She's walking! The evangelists, Jack and Rexella proclaimed it was God at work in Andi's life. personally, I think her desire for Pacey nudged her on (if you know what I mean.) The lesson to be learned from all of this is drink responsibly. And do it at The Shy Bard Inn. And watch out for stray skateboards. (I wonder if God put that there, too. Hmmm.) |
Get your own Free Home Page