So today, I'm leaving work early, getting diapers at Costco and going to the rec pool to swim or exercise -- hell, I don't know...I just want to move and huff and puff a little.

I know it's going to be weird going to a pool after not having been for so very long. I just can't stand the not exercising any more. I squeeze walking in whereever I can -- walking to lunch, to the store, even around the neighborhood. I hate that I feel like such a lump and that I have all of these beautiful clothes that are only a size or so away from fitting around my big ass again.

I miss my skinniness. A lot.

I love myself when I'm fit and healthy and my husband mentioned something about bikini-clad women at the rec pool the other day and it was the first time ever. I mean I know he looks, but he's never mentioned that he looked. And I remember him enjoying my new and different body. I remember enjoying my new and different body, too.

And I think that if I can just get into the pool habit again, I am going to get my new body back. The only thing I'm worrying about at this point is if I can get that stupid bike wagon fixed, so Genny can ride in it, so I can tote her around our new city in a month.

So...here I am...sneakin' out of work with a swimsuit in my trunk. I love it when the boss is away. I do I do I do.