February 21, 2002 What I don't think she ever realized until we actually got married and had Genny was that I totally totally love Michael. I'll admit that when we first got together, I spent some time waiting for my Taurus to grow up. I watched him change and he helped me feel stable because nothing I did upset him. He loves me unconditionally, so while he'd get pissy now and again, I never did anything that fundamentally irked him to his marrow. And while I'm quirky as Virgos are wont to be, he adores me still. Anyway, within the first year of us being together, she had to clean out her house in the wake of her divorce and get rid of stuff in a garage sale so she could at least rent out the house until she was ready to figure out what to do with it. Mike and I went up to help at her request. She has a lot of antiques. Beautiful old china cups and saucers and plates. I was admiring them and telling her how pretty they were as we were wrapping them up and putting them away. She was telling me the story of each one. It was kind of like a personalized antique road show. My mom isn't an antique china kind of person, though my dad often had those old bottles and glass insulators from the old fashioned telephone poles, so I'd never really seen things like this. Later that afternoon, Mike's mom gave me a matching cup and saucer -- a really pretty blue print and very light. You could feel the eggshell quality of this cup. I thought the gesture was really sweet, and then she added,"If you and Michael ever break up I expect you to give that back to me." The statement revealed what she thought of me and my relationship with her son, and hurt me, but I kept the cup knowing that she'd said that because she loves Michael, just like I do. The cup survived two moves. I had brought it with me on one of my many back and forth trips while we were moving and had found a way to display it. It meant a lot to me that she'd given me something like that at all and it reminded me of my love for my husband, even in the face of all the crap his family put me through. Last night, Michael went a different way around the table and his shoulder caught the shelf the cup was on and as it went, I heard myself scream,"OH, NO!" I watched as the cup and saucer shattered on the floor behind Russell's chair. I grabbed my soda and dinner and kicked my shoe off to the ceiling in rage and stomped upstairs, slamming doors and cussing. I felt so unreasonable. I was so angry for a while at Michael. And then I realized that people are more important than things. And then I was just sobbing and sobbing. I finally realized I should call my MIL and tell her. First, I got her fiance on the phone and he asked how I was and I cried and told him I was upset because the cup got broken. And he teased me that it was just a cup. I told him,"I know, but it had a lot of meaning to me." And I told him about it and that it meant something about how much both Mom and I love Michael. Then Mom got on the phone and we talked. She said she didn't think I was crying about the cup alone. I told her she was right, I was sure, but that I was very upset about the cup. I reminded her about how she'd given it to me and what she'd said. Surprised she said,"I said that?!" (With that, "Oh, shit!" sense of wonder to it.) She told me she understood how I felt about it. Then she told me,"Antiques are meant to be displayed and I learned a long time ago that with kids, some things are going to get broken and there's not a thing you can do about it. I used to have antique bottles on my window and there was one I really loved -- a butter churn bottle and when it broke, I cried, too. But over time, I've learned the most important thing in life is relationships not things." She told me that she knew I was dealing with a lot of crap -- a two year old, an ADHD kid, working full-time and maintaining the household and that she loved me. She told me she'd send another cup even though I said I didn't want another. Then she told me to go downstairs and make up with Michael. So I did.
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