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A very traditional-looking hell.

Angel staggers forward holding his stomach. Then the pain is suddenly released, and, free of his agony for a second, he is able to straighten. But he only manages to take five steps and he is gripped again by another random application of pain for another indeterminate period. This time, though, frustrated by this pain-game, he gets angry and takes on the Vamp-browed look. Once again, however, almost as if to toy with him, the pain lets up and he reacquires his normal visage. He moves forward. Up ahead through the swirl of fire and smoke he can see what looks like a door. So, putting his head down, he forces his body in that direction, but he does not get very far, as almost immediately he is dashed to the ground again by another vicious onslaught of pain. Determined, however, he turns sideways and, despite the physical torture, he manages to roll towards the door. He gets close; then when the pain seems to dissipate again, he gets to his feet and reaches out. When his hand touches the doorknob, however, it strangely begins smoking and, in panic, he tries to pull loose, but his hand is burning and is sticking to the knob, and then a jolt of power surges through him and an enormous electrical discharge channels though his entire body sending him into convulsions.

Cut to Hank Summer's office.

Buffy is seated in Hank's office. Hank himself is behind his desk and his phone rings.

Hank: (to Buffy) Just let me take this call, baby, and we'll go to a late lunch slash early dinner. (He picks up the phone and listens.) What? Oh, good god, no. Let me come down and look for myself. I remember having seen him stuff some papers in his credenza. And then he used to stash papers . . . I'll come down. Be right there. (He hangs up. To Buffy) Come along, dear, I've just got to make this short stop, but it shouldn't take long. My new partner--you met him, I'm certain--Barry?--died today of a heart attack--downstairs in the lobby--and we're having a devil of a time locating some of his crucial papers.

Buffy: Sure, Dad. Take your time.

Cut back to hell.

Angel is released from the door and he remains stunned, lying on the ground.

Back at Hank Summer's suite of offices.

Buffy reads a magazine while she sits outside an office door. She looks up at a clock; it is almost 4:00. Voices come from inside.

Cut to inside Barry's office.

Hank is agitated. He is talking to Dave while they are standing at opposite ends of an office desk. Hank is behind the desk pulling out drawers, unlatching them, and then handing them to Dave who feels around them, looks under them and then examines their contents before stacking them. Hank, in turn, searches the interior of the frame of the desk, once he has removed a drawer.

Hank: (pointing to some files sitting on top of the desk) I just can't believe the Flutie Company is just an empty shell. We must have ten copies of their Prospectus lying around here somewhere. Our attorney has custody of the stock certificates; give him a call about this. Also, talk to the Snyder Detective Agency, the outfit Barry hired to dig up the lowdown on these people. I remember seeing their report--hell, we paid $15,000 for it--and it was very detailed and gave every corporate officer a clean bill of health. This can't be a scam company that Barry dreamed up to cover his gambling losses. He was not that smart and didn't have the time to develop such an elaborate ruse. Hell, we even got some dividend checks from Flutie--I remember seeing them on Barry's desk. Call our CPA--he keeps copies of all bank deposits. I just have to believe that the reason we're not finding anything here is merely that Barry took these files home with him. Check with his wife. (Dave stops rummaging through a drawer and looks up at him) I know--I know--tell her it's an emergency. We've got to get to the bottom of this or we're in deep financial do-do. I'll be at Ramona's with my daughter. My beeper will be on.

Cut back outside the office to the hallway.

Hank comes out the door and Buffy rises.

Buffy: Problems, dad? I can always grab something by myself and come back later if this is a bad time.

Hank: Well, there is a problem, but that's why I have employees. There's just some papers of Barry's we can't find. It should be nothing. I supposed what really bothers me, though, is that when something like this happens, you realize your own mortality--you know that at any time you can be injured and die. So, I could use some cheering up. And just looking at you always does that for me. I certainly have all the time in the world to find out what's going on with my favorite daughter. So, let's do it.

He offers his arm and she hooks her arm inside and they promenade toward the elevators. A closed-circuit camera studies them when they arrive. Hank pushes the down button and almost immediately the left elevator is descending toward them, but then the button light goes out and the elevator passes them by. Hank notices and mutters under his breath and pushes the down arrow again. The middle elevator arrives after a few seconds and Hank allows Buffy to enter, then he steps around and positions himself slightly behind her. A jazzy tune plays on the speaker.

Cut to a view on a closed-circuit monitor of the inside of the elevator.

Cut to the lobby where the guard is watching this same view on his monitor.

He throws a toggle switch; then he pushes a button.

Cut back inside the elevator.

Hanks face is briefly illuminated by a light that shines on it from above. Then he begins hearing whispered instruction that the rest of the people are oblivious of.

Snyder's Voice: (whispered) Hank, you are facing financial disaster, but not to worry, another opportunity will come along for you, and you will be okay. What you should be worried about, though, is your daughter. Joyce has never disciplined her and has let Buffy run loose and sleep around with all sorts of riffraff, and she is now in trouble with the law. (Buffy playfully nudges Hank with her elbow to point out the garish hat that a woman in the elevator is wearing; he looks down and smiles.) Joyce has been an unfit mother and you need to wrench custody away from your ex to literally save Buffy's life. (The elevator door opens and people get on and off and it closes again.) Also, notice how sickly your daughter looks . . .

Buffy: Dad, what kind of food do they serve at Ramona's? Is that Italian or Mexican or what?

Hank is still listening to further instructions from the hypnotic voice. When it is finished, he replays Buffy's last comment in his head and knows how to answer her.

Hank: Actually, both. And they even creatively mix the two. I think you'll like some of their innovations in food, but, if not, they also have all the traditional American standbys.

The elevator door opens and they get out and traverse the lobby. Hank leads and makes a circuitous swing past the front desk. There, standing on the counter, and featured in a close-up, is the small vial with the yellow liquid. It has a crude label on it with some printed letters. He sweeps it up in his hand as the guard says, "Afternoon, Mr. Summers," and he says, "Afternoon, Jake" and then he surreptitiously places it in his jacket pocket without Buffy noticing. This scene, featuring an almost lit from within quality to the liquid, is viewed from the standpoint of someone in the lobby standing off to the side, and that someone turns out to be Whistler, who happens to have seen the bottle clearly and the whole sleight of hand. He stands there puzzled for a second, but then he moves forward again as Buffy and Hank go through a revolving door. He follows.

Cut to the library.

The Scooby Gang is reassembled minus Buffy and this time minus Cordelia. Xander is there looking uncomfortable but he is staring at Giles's guest. Willow watches Xander, and Oz is again off to the side, not feeling like a full member. Giles is standing with Claudia.

Giles: Yes, well, ah, I would like to introduce Claudia LeBeaux, who is a Slayer-in-training, much like our unfortunate friend Kendra was. Claudia was sent here by her Watcher who thought we could use some help. I daresay he's right. (To Claudia) This is Willow, whom we rely upon to make those computer boxes work. I have reported some of the things she has discovered to the Watcher network and hopefully we have all benefited from her computer savvy. (they nod at each other) That is Xander, who, as you pointed out, you wanted to meet because he had the presence of mind to give our Buffy CPR and resuscitate her. (She goes over to Xander to shake hands. He holds out his left hand and an electrical shock jumps between them; they both smile, then shake hands) And that is Oz. (To Oz) Come join us at the table, Oz. (To Claudia) Oz has been an immense help to us because he is very generous and is willing to help us when we need help even though he is much in demand as a lead guitarist in a rock and roll band.

Claudia: (goes over to shake hands with Oz as he comes forward to the table) Oh, I love rock and roll, especially zee American kind. I must plan on coming to listen to you play. (She holds onto Oz's hand.)

Willow: (To break the moment) So, you're from France, Claudia?

Claudia: Oui, from just outside Paree.

Willow: And are vampires a big problem there?

Claudia: Not so much. Not like your Sunnydale. Sunnydale has come to be considered zee veritable Mecca for vampire slayers. Your hellmouth is numbero uno.

Xander: So, there are more hellmouths?

Claudia: Zere are other portals into hell, but, I don't believe, any are as accessible as yours. Zeese is the place where zee action is.

Willow: Don't we know it.

Claudia: So, Xander, perhaps tonight you could show me around town, a tour of your cemeteries? (She smiles sweetly.)

Xander: (still favoring his left hand where the sting of the handshake shock still lingers) Giles can take you, maybe. I have plans.

Giles: Well, I have some research to do right now, but later I, too, have plans.

Willow: Oz and I can take you. How about it, Oz? Right after I help Giles with his research?

Oz: (looking at Xander) Surely, Willow. Surely, we'll take you, Claudia.

Xander says nothing. He is looking around, sullenly, not paying attention. Suddenly he gets up and paces nervously. When he sees he is drawing attention, he leans against a bookcase. Oz and Willow exchange glances.

Claudia: Fantastique! So, what kind of research are you doing? Perhaps I can help.

Giles: Well, Angel--p-perhaps you know of him as Angelus--was cast into hell by Buffy--out of sheer necessity, I might add--and we were trying to figure out a way of getting him back out. He was a friend to us for a time and then he became an enemy, but we believe he is a friend again.

Claudia: Oh, from all I've read, zeese is a bad one. Are you certain you want him back?

Xander: (agitated, moves around to the tables behind Giles) Oh, sure, we'll just reel him in, and if we then decide we don't want him, we'll just throw him back in the ocean.

Giles: (through his annoyance at Xander) Yes, Claudia, we have every reason to believe he has his good soul back, and therefore we want to reclaim him from hell. A good soul is a good soul is a good soul.

Xander: Well, you guys can go down that road without me. (He picks up his bookbag but underneath it he has concealed Giles's maroon book with the silver stripes. He leaves.)

Giles: Well, no help from that quarter.

Cut to hell

Angel has his shirt off and is using the cloth to insulate himself from the doorknob. He turns it quickly and it opens. He rushes through and closes the door behind him. The whiteness is glaring. He is in an all-white room around the size of a basketball court, and ahead of him in a folding chair is a man watching a screen on which is projected a movie. It is the scene from the end of Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, where the screen is split down the middle and the viewer seems to be traveling towards an ever-receding point, with colors flying by on both sides. The man is clearly in emotional agony watching this scene, and every so often he jumps out of his chair and turns away from the screen, but then he is overcome with such fits of wrenching physical pain that he must then return to the chair and face the screen for the physical pain to stop. This cycle is repeated several times while Angel watches, himself being gripped periodically with spasms of pain. There is a box on the wall with two buttons on it. The one button is labeled "NEW TO HELL?" and the other is labeled "INFORMATION ON THIS VENUE." Angel fights through a new wave of his own pain but makes it across the room and to the door on the opposite side. The man notices Angel, but says nothing. Angel uses his shirt again to turn the doorknob and jumps through, but halfway through he is swept off his feet by another round of crushing pain.

Cut to Ramona's Restaurant.

Hank: And so the bartender says to the cannibal, 'The reason you fell into a deep sleep was that THAT was a bar-bitch-you-ate.'

Buffy chokes on the last of her soda. Then she laughs.

Buffy: Oh (wiping her face with a napkin) I forgot how you're always with the jokes. Always full of things to humor over. I've been morose as of late.

Hank: Perhaps you could come live with me for a while, at least until you're off the all-points-bulletins. (To a bussboy walking with a glass of cola.) Here. (He takes it from the boy and make a big production out of giving him a special tip, all the while working the vial of yellow fluid into a position where he can pour it into the glass. Once done, he passes the drink over to Buffy. She immediately takes it and slurps it up the straw.

Buffy: It wouldn't work out, me living with you, here. Mom needs me. She needs to feel guilty about not spending enough time with me. What would she have to agonize over if not her parental skills? And I've seen you, you're much the busy guy, wining and dining and kegging and begging and all the other things you do to glom onto your clients. Besides, I've made friends in Sunnydale, and I'm needed there. (Suddenly her eyes cross.) Whew! (She shakes herself alert and starts fanning her face.) Is it hot in here?

Hank: Hot? No, not especially. Well, we'll see about your living arrangements. I think if we gave it a try, we could make it work. We'll see.

Cut back to the library.

Oz watches Claudia kickbox a bottom-weighted dummy, while Willow and Giles talk.

Willow: (sighing) Looks like I have more competition.

Giles: Her--Oz? No. You know I like Oz? I think in his own self-contained way he is a connoisseur and you, thus, will always come out on top to him. May I say something that I may later regret, but you must forget immediately unless, of course, if it self-esteems you. Oh, my, I'm starting to sound like Buffy.

Willow: (laughing softly) Well, with all those conditions, why not? Say away.

Giles: When I was you age, I, as a young man, would have found you, Willow, as a young girl, absolutely irresistible. I say that because you seem to put yourself down, as though you should compete with Cordelia or Buffy. They are of a different type. Many guys like their type. But some guys just like your type--whatever that means--and although Oz and I are probably like Mr. Cool and Mr. Dull, I recognize in him the same level of astute appreciation that I have. And I'll bet he has asked himself everyday since he met you, 'How did I get so lucky?' Okay, to topic: Angel in hell.

Willow: Wait. Thanks, Giles, for what you said. But since we're butting into each other's personal lives, what is this 'plan' you have tonight?

Giles: Oh, dear. I was afraid you'd ask about that. I'm actually going over to Buffy's house tonight to try and fill her mom in on Slayers, Hellmouths, and other such rot.

Willow: And how do you feel about Joyce Summers?

Giles: I'm certain she's a wonderful person. I mean, she would have to be, considering how well Buffy has turned out. Don't you think?

Willow: (sternly) That's not what I mean.

Giles: Okay, she's adorable.

Willow: Exactly. Just checking to see if you know the score, but if you know THAT MUCH, you'll be fine. Just watch out, from what Buffy says, if Joyce wears the blue dress, be afraid, be very afraid. By the way, if things get out of hand . . . (She reaches into her purse.)

Giles: Really, W-Willow. I-I don't think that will be necessary.

Willow: Here. (handing him a videotape) Airplane. There's a place up the street that delivers and I called and rented it for Oz and I to watch, but it looks like we'll be patrolling with Bridget tonight. Watch it with Joyce. Buffy and Joyce often watch it together when one needs a lift.

Giles: Thanks, I'll take it along. (He opens a book and begins leafing through the pages.) Now, let's see what the ancients have to say.

Willow: But, Giles, you've done SOME preliminary work. What do the prophesies say about Angel, or hell, even, for this period?

Giles: Not much. Most of our sources dropped out at Acathla, thinking THAT was going to be THE END, so we're in uncharted territory to most of our previously valid sources; the Codex and the Brothers of Quinto and Cresparitus all briefly mention hell but nothing about Angel; there is narrative about something called the Breath of Life being in hell after the Acathla period, but I can't determine if they're referring to a person or a thing, nor can I determine how long after Acathla this takes place.

Willow: And what happens to the Breath of Life in hell?

Giles: Well, Cresparitus has it being trapped and smothered there. The Codex, on the other hand, merely says that it leaves a part of itself there forever.

Willow: Eww. Neither of those sound good.

Cut to hell.

Angel comes through another door and happens upon a man with an axe standing all alone at the edge of a large stand of large wide-trunked trees. He is choppping away at the one tree on the outskirts of the forest. When the man stops, he is suddenly racked by pain until he starts chopping again. As Angel is able to take the entire scene in, he can see that behind the man, as far as the eye can see, are trees he has chopped down. And ahead of him, again, are trees growing as far as one can see. Seemingly suspended in mid air is another of those boxes with the two buttons labeled "NEW TO HELL?" and "INFORMATION ON THIS VENUE." Angel is suddenly under attack again by a sharp, piercing sound in his head; this noise short-circuits his other faculties and bring him to the ground in pain.

Cut to the Summer's house.

Giles arrives at the front door, tugs at his collar, and rings the bell. Joyce opens the door and looks at him coyly. The blue dress is form-fitting and displays 'cleavage with a vengeance.' She looks wonderful. Giles has all he can do to avoid staring.

Joyce: Oh, Mr. Giles. Nice of you to come.

Giles: Yes, well, you r-really ought to know everything. I know B-Buffy in the past has not wanted you to know, n-not wanted you to worry, perhaps. But I t-think it's all for the breast--b-best--that you know and understand as much as possible, Mrs. Summers.

Joyce: Call me, Joyce, and, oh, what have you brought?"

Giles is so flustered by her decolletage that he has forgotten the nomenclature for the thing in his hand so he just holds it up to be identified.

Joyce: Oh, Airplane. I love that movie. Buffy and I take turns renting it when the other of us feels down. We love a good dose of silliness.

Giles: Yes, well, Willow rented it, so it's paid for. She won't be using it tonight and, since I've never seen it, she suggested that I bring it.

Joyce: Okay, we'll put it on later. So, I understand you work for the school system, but is being a Watcher also a paid position?

Cut to the parking lot outside Ramona's Restaurant.

It's early evening. Getting dark. The alarm goes off in a car, and a man is running away, but there's a fence and he runs out of room. He turns and ducks down and squat-walks around a car. He tries the door. It opens and the keys are in it. Ahead two people are walking. He gets into the car, starts the engine, and it lurches forward towards the two people. The girls moves away, but the man looks up and freezes; then the girl runs back and pushes the man out of the way but the driver can hear the front of the car strike her. He continues onward, runs into a gate and carries it out into the street, but it falls away and he drives off.

From another angle the scene unfolds so that it can be seen that Buffy is more pushed than hit by the car but she goes flying off into another car, striking her head, and falling to the ground. Hank watches aghast as the car drives off and he hurries over to her.

Hank: (talking to her but afraid to move her) Buffy, are you all right? (She looks up at him and then her eyes cross and she passes out. He goes over to his car and pulls out a cell phone.) Yes, send an ambulance to Ramona's Restaurant on Spring Street. A girl has been injured. It may involve her neck and spinal cord so alert the EMS people. (pause) No, hit by a car. She may have struck her head. Please hurry.

Seemingly even before he closes the phone, he can hear the sound of an ambulance approaching.

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Unbecoming1: Out to Lunch (Part 4 of 4)

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