6-17-98

6-17-98


Why believe and why have faith? In the absence of proof to one reality or another, why choose the belief that I am not being fucked over? This goes to the heart of that same old philosophy...and boils down to the golden rule.

There are things that I want, things that I believe, and things that I know. What I want, I know, is within the realm of possibility. What I do not know is if I will ever gain it, but I believe that it is possible that I will, so I go there. I love and I trust. I know that I may not gain it. But if it does not happen, I also know, it will be because I or somebody else did not let it happen. That is not the same as saying it was not meant to be.My dream is not that we will fly to the moon, find the fountain of youth and live happily ever after. It is that we will see each other every day. We will hold each other every night. We will work together toward building a life that is complete,
loving and respecting each other. I dream of a marriage because it will represent a commitment to making the first dream come true for us both. If we do marry, I knowthat it will be for real. I believe as well that if we do go that far together, we will see it through to the very end, whether the very end is death or even if there is no very end for eternity. I do not know
that, I only believe it. I cannot know it because I cannot divine the future even though a lot of times I wish I could. I know it is possible because I have witnessed it. Admittedly, I have seen many, many more marriages that fell short of the marriage I envision.

I read the first chapter of Chopra aloud. I think you listened a little bit. The book goes on to say (and the same theory is expressed in a different, specific to lovers, way elsewhere - I copied it in longhand and it is around somewhere; I will share it if you care to see it and read it) that once one understands that where he or she is right now is where he or she is supposed to
be, and accepts the oneness of all and himself or herself, things just flow that way. Nothing is
impossible; but without the faith and trust, all the desire in the world will not allow the dream to come true.


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