I think it was the meth
that came between us
I think this was why
she shaved her head that time
and why another later day
I came home to an empty house
why I became committed after
that to sleeping with as many
people as possible
about whom I cared
not at all and why
my sinuses became
battlegrounds my arms
began to cramp when reaching
for things I did not want
and how my heart slowed down
when I gave this up at last
as there are never enough lines
never a point that does not
jab its way in never
roses when roses are needed
though sitting in a bar alone
at 2 am someone always
comes in and shoves some
under your nose
though I do know when this
happens the solution is
to buy one
put it in your beer bottle
carry it home
after last call
its head down hanging
there from an
unnoticed thorn
tiramisu
light on the tongue
and I think of you
that red dress
the thin strap falling
candlelight and the last
of the wine after
clams linguine
the tiramisu so sweet
with a hint of bitter
chocolate of espresso
too rich so we split it
the candle flickering
moving shadows
each waiting for
the other to take
the last bite
hear you in my sleep
and the night sounds
better though it is not you
and I roll over and there is
the comfort of a warm and
familiar thigh but it is
not you and your song
plays through me like rain on
the car roof as windshield
diamonds sing to the steamed
glass your breath in the night
and the sound is here but it
is not you and deeper into
the dream you appear just out
of reach and I run to you but
I cannot close the distance
like running in water your
song like running water light
through trees above a grassy
bank in summer heat my
clothing under my head your
song will not leave me but
I need the warmth of you
the smell the taste of you
here with me here inside I
will always
another way of singing
I have been here only days
the lifespan of the tulips
though absent a hard freeze
their bulbs will bring them
back again next spring
of course we never know
what will intervene
I have sung quietly
in a voice that does not echo
from these soft walls
your orgasms like
peach blossoms falling
value
not the
summer boardwalk
forest of
unattainable young
thighs
but the hot night
memory of slipping
in sweat sliding
off you
laughing
the one in the hammock
out the 2nd floor
window naked
her head shaved
laughing up
the 30 thousand
dollar sport
utility vehicles
nothing
in comparison
the cruises
the single malts
the thousand dollar
suits the gold rolex
nothing
that one touch
of her lips
that was all there
was recorded here
forever
the small hand
tugging my beard
back down
your voice in
morning darkness
no celluloid princess
no walking barbie
no inflated temple
love goddess no
vestal version
the one with
the slender fingers
that wrapped me
in breath-faint
touch
the streetlamp
light sliced apart
by half-open blinds
spread on the
bread of you
the best things
are free
whether you can
get them
or not
love & war
she cuts my head
out of the photographs
she likes best
with the small scissors
she always reserved
for trimming
her hair
my son collects them
from the floor
and the trash
puts them away
in a coffee can
with his toy
soldiers
Scratch one abattoir
Bored, I sit on the dock capturing insects in a tin can,
skate bugs off the water, pouring them on the rough planks.
Out of their element, they move slowly, drunkenly.
I coax the bugs to a space between boards,
knitted by a large coarse spun web,
occupied by two tiny white unmoving spiders.
The trap is large, but poor, and the skate bugs
fall through, hit the water to vanish to some safer section
of their proper element.
One wanders at last to the edge and beyond,
drops and sticks struggling, and a huge grey spider
races from somewhere below.
Spider pounces, covering, squeezing;
little legs hang out, trembling,
curling, still.
Ashore for dry leaves, I return to drop them
into the web: I light one, and bring it all down
in seconds.
I'm no vegetarian, but nothing I do gives me that
spider feeling, well not often, and Christ those little legs
could have been anybody.