I have stopped all writing workshops and tutoring on-line. The pace was getting stressful. Causing me to be depressed. I do want to continue writing my memoir but I need a breather. I haven't had time for anything but writing for years! Now I have given myself permission to LIVE life instead of just writing about it. I think being 70, I decided my life was over and what I had to do now was to write about it. And it isn't true. Not having the pressure of HAVING to get something in by a specific time has freed me to move slowly through the days, enjoy just being here, breathing the fresh spring air, listening to the birds, watching them make nests, hearing their songs, just being aware of being. What a relief!!!!! No expectations. Pure enjoyment. Doing what I want to do. Isn't that what retirement is about?

One thing did spoil it a bit. Well, a whole lot. We had three skylights put in so our house would be lighter. And it is! I love the light that comes in through the ceilings. But, oh my, what a nightmare while they were being put in. Different crews doing different jobs. They had to cut holes in the roof, go through the attic, put the inside stuff in and the windows. Then the drywall men, then the painters, the drywall men back, painters back. Took about three weeks! Our house in a shambles. It was like camping inside. And the dogs going crazy, barking constantly. Poor things.

But now it is over and I can say it was worth it. Wouldn't want to go through that again though.

Luther Winsea, one of our very dear native American friends died about a week ago. He was a very spiritual man, a good person. He has blessed things for me, once gave me a feather he used in the blessing ceremony. We went to a ceremony with drums and chanting, hymns, and the Lord's Prayer in sign language by two of his granddaughters. The chapel was filled and two side rooms. He was dressed in a native American shirt and held two feathers in his hands. The world feels so empty without him.

I am trying to think positive thoughts.

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