This page hosted by Get your own Free Homepage

The water of eternal youth.

     It is a popular folktale that somewhere (usually in a
place which is damn awkward to get to) there is a fountain or
a pool which rejuvenates the old, or halts the aging process. It
came as a complete surprise to everyone when this mystical
potion was discovered last year. The oddest part of the whole
tale was the fact that it wasn't found high in the mountains of
Tibet, or in a tiny oasis in the Sahara, but in Mr. Robert
Pashe's small terrace house in Kidderminster.
     "It was the strangest thing I've ever known!" he
explained some years later, "I moved in to the house in July,
and I'd turned fifty-one the previous April. My wife was the
first person to notice, that was in November."

     "I'm so glad we moved out of Kent," she said,
languidly, "it's nice to feel so relaxed and not so het up all of
the time. Retirement is being very kind on you, sometimes I
even look at your hair and it seems to me that it's growing
back at the temples. You smile so much more now, it makes
you look younger."
     He looked over to his wife, and with fresh eyes he
thought that yes, for the first time in 25 years she did seem
more alive and vital. The move north had been good for both
of them. The lines at her eyes seemed lighter, her neck more
taught.
     "You are looking radiant yourself my dear."
     "There is no need to be sarcastic all of the time," she
growled, "but I must say I do feel so much fresher here, I
think it must be to do with the hills."

     For Kidderminster sits in a basin, with the Clent hills
to the North, the Clee hills towards Wales and the Malverns
to the South. In prehistoric times the area was a lake, small
water bound fossils can still be found encased in the limestone
from the area. Practically this means for those living in the dip
that it is only a short drive to arrive at beautiful scenery, but
as the clouds sweep across the heights they break and shroud
the town in rain.
     Yet by his fifty-second birthday, when the subject was
broached again it was slightly less laudatory and held a more
concerned tone.

     "My hair is completely recovered and I look and feel
at least fifteen years younger," he said, smiling "but it just
doesn't feel right. This isn't down to a change of scenery and
a second wind in life, it's something strange, almost unearthly.
What do you think is happening to me Laura?"
     "I don't know, darling." his wife replied, biting her lip
nervously, "But I noticed a couple of months ago that I don't
need to dye my hair anymore. My arthritis is clearing up and
my face feels younger. It can't be true can it, can we be
getting younger?"
     "It certainly seems that way, it would be nice but I just
don't feel comfortable. I need to know who is in control."
     They exchanged a meaningful look and got ready to go
out to the restaurant.
     "Bob, I just wonder if it's something about
Kidderminster , whether the neighbours get this sort of thing.
. ."
     "I haven't noticed, but then again I didn't notice the
changes in you until you pointed them out."
     She smiled sadly and they resolved to keep an eye on
what they were doing and try to pinpoint what was doing this
strange but wonderful thing.
     Initial enquiries to friends in the surrounding area were
greeted with tolerant smiles and eyebrows raised in disbelief.
One thing was becoming apparent, that whatever was
happening was affecting Robert more than Laura. By their
second Christmas in Kidderminster, the effect had accelerated
and was beginning to worry the couple seriously. They went
to a local doctor, with photos taken over the previous year
and a half. Such was the speed of the changes that they needed
to bring his birth certificate with them, for he now looked as
though he was in his late twenties. Laura looked about the
same age, but she was ten years younger than her husband in
any case. The doctor became quite angry and threw them out
of his surgery, saying he didn't have time for practical jokes.
     A fortnight of more serious worrying followed, the
couple were being shunned by their friends (who had assumed
that they'd both had plastic surgery). They racked their brains
to try and see the cause. But Bob had now entered his teens
and was experiencing a burst of hormones which invigorated
the couples sex life in ways they hadn't known since they'd
first been married. 

     In February over breakfast Laura looked deeply into
her cereal, with the intensity that only youth can muster. Bob
now looked as though he was in his teens and was considering
fleeing the country to avoid the rapid approach of his birth.
Laura looked up and breaking into a broad grin said,
     "I know, I know what's causing this!" she held her
bottle of Evian aloft, "Don't you see? I've been less affected
than you, but I nearly always drink bottled water, but you
drink water straight from the tap."

     Robert looked sceptically at his wife, but knew that
even if he ran away from the problem (as he desperately
wanted to) there was no guaranteeing that it would stop. So
the plan was put into action, they bought gallons of bottled
water and didn't turn a tap on in the house for the following
month. As quickly as his ageing had reversed the years caught
up again.

     The Pashe's were intelligent people, and had no wish
to have their lives ruined by the tabloid press or the military.
Having determined the root of the effect they went about
determining what exactly was the cause. They had tanks of
water delivered to their door, and within six months they
appeared a perfectly sprightly couple in their mid-thirties.

     "The oddest thing is that it is just water," he explained,
"there are no extra chemicals, there are no strange  auras'
around the water, and it has nothing to do with the water
main, it is clear as we look around us that no-one else in the
street has this problem."
     "You can take the water away from the house, but if
you drink it you will still get younger!" interrupted Laura,
"When we found this out we knew what we had to do, we've
set up a health food chain. In every product are a couple of
drops of the water from our house (we've nicknamed it water-plus).
The business is doing very well, we never use enough
water-plus to draw attention to what we're doing."
     "Can you imaging the war and carnage they'd be over
control of this stuff?" Bob smiles.
     "So we live a comfortable life and have everything we
could possibly want. But," and here Laura looked incredibly
serious, "we've decided that we'll use the water from time to
time, but we both just feel like growing old gracefully."
     "You can prolong life," she chuckled "but going back
and reliving it, is just painful."

©1998 Mark Sexton