I read him my above horoscope, and I think he liked it. =) As for his, he found the romantic ideals/porn comparison to be disturbing, for some reason. He doesn't do lists of qualities either, so that one I don't think was a favorite of his.
Taurus: One of the hallmarks of a talented lover is knowing that there are scores of erogenous zones to attend to, all created equal and holy. It's only mediocre practicioners who are narrowly fixated on the big boom afforded by the genitalia. I bring this up because I believe you Tauruses understand this better than any other sign of the zodiac. And what better time to prove it than the season of love? Your prime directive this week should be that every part of your body should eventually caress, soothe, fondle, rub, and vibrate against every part of your Valentine's body--no exceptions.As I write this, my Internet connection is GONE. I cannot get it to work in the slightest. I don't know when I'll get these entries uploaded, I don't know when I'll be able to check my e-mail, but I'm writing in hopes that SOMEDAY it'll work again. When/if it'll be fixed I have no idea. I can't even have anyone over to do it until probably Wednesday (this assuming I find someone who has a clue what's going on to do it).Aquarius: Take a piece of paper, please, and write down all the qualities your perfect mate would have. When you're finished, burn it and swear you will live without such a list for at least six months, beginning this Valentine season. True love has elaborate plans for you in 1999, you see, and will not stand for you crusty old agendas getting in the way. But let me go even further. These days, romantic ideals are akin to pornography. They would only interfere with your appreciation of real flesh and blood. -Rob Brezsny
My pleasant surprise upon returning home Thursday afternoon was to discover that I could not even log on to the Internet. Pissed me off no end, as you can imagine. I am STILL pissed off. And there was no way that I could get on the Internet and look up people that could help me FIX the Internet. Couldn't talk to/e-mail Remington at work (waaah! I love doing that!) to get him to fix it, and he wasn't going to be home from GSA happy hour until just before I got out of self-defense. UGH!
Intermediate self-defense really isn't as much fun as beginning was, I don't know why though. Maybe because some of our "new" moves seem pretty much like slightly altered versions of the old ones. Sure, there's useful info being distributed too (blocks, 2-man drills, club blocks next week), but I just have a bitch of a time with focus. I just wanna go home to Remington all the time. That seems to be our pattern now. He's already told me that his pattern is to call me whenever he gets home, then go on IRC looking for me. Awwwwwww...=)
She let us out late, and the whole way home I was thinking how I'd told him I'd be home by 8:30 and he said he'd call me, and I knew that he'd call right before I got home, 'cause that always happens...and sure enough, it did. (I especially flipped when he said to "send me an e-mail.") I called him back and whined about the computer, he said he'd come over. (I got a small feeling of smugness that Jensen was downstairs and saw me going down to get him. Hehehehehe.)
He came over about 9 p.m., and we were up until 2 a.m. trying to get the new Resnet card to work. Reinstalled Windows umpteen times. Nothing would cooperate. We got through watching two movies, a tickle war (it's not FAIR that he's not ticklish), and several steamy makeout sessions while the thing constantly misbehaved. In the end he just gave up on card installing and tried to get the regular connection hooked up again. Well, I can get on the Internet now, but browsers, e-mail, etc. won't work at all. Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! I hope nobody sent me anything crucial. I wanted to go over to his place and check mail, but, well, it was 2 a.m. I am hoping that I can upload this stuff on the parents' computer at home this weekend.
I read him my above horoscope, and I think he liked it. =) As for his, he found the romantic
ideals/porn comparison to be disturbing, for some reason. He doesn't do lists of qualities
either, so that one I don't think was a favorite of his.
He said something that I really liked...we were hugging, and he said that he wished he could squeeze me so hard that we'd become one person.
All together now, folks...
VD is going to really suck, I'd just like to say. Not seeing him for days and days... if/when we're going to do anything, which I doubt at this point, is extremely debatable. I know I won't get home until late Monday night, PLUS the goddamn midterm to study for (all essay questions! on science! dreadful!), so I shouldn't have him over. Which'll lead to my dilemma of "I need to study and I can't stop thinking about him" versus "if I have him over, I won't be able to study," just like when I had textile midterm. Tuesday night he has a meeting thing in Berkeley again until all hours. He wants to see me badly enough to claim that he could attempt to drive all the way back in the late dead of night to come see me after it. Whether this'll come off or not, I don't know but sorta doubt. Which leads waiting till Wednesday, which REALLY doesn't please either one of us. Heck, we don't like not seeing each other over the course of a weekend (judging by all the "I missed you's that go on), so four/five days...UGH!
We're wrecks, aren't we?
Actually, we did get to discussing the Zoe/spare boyfriend/jealousy/party bits last night.
I about admitted that I don't want another boyfriend, but I think he'd figured that out already.
He said he'd had some long talk with Zoe about this last weekend, deducing that her real desire
is for any one of us to get another person- so that Remington or I wouldn't be getting to see as
much of each other and get attached ("I thought so." I said), or that she get another lover so she'd be distracted
and not care. Apparently she doesn't care if he gets all attached to me, just so long as he gets
equally attached to her! Understandable, anyway, that she's getting quite jealous...I said I get a
little that way too, but not as much as she's been getting. I asked if he'd told her what he'd told me
about never dumping one of us for the other, and he said he did, and she wasn't much placated- started
asking if he'd told ME that ("did you tell her that I already guessed it?" I said), etc. Sounds as
if she's more afraid of us getting attached than even we are. I don't think she trusts us here, and
she shouldn't, I think. Or as he put it..."There's attached...and there's attached...and there's
attached..." We agreed that we didn't know at what circle of attachment (so to speak)
we're at right now. But I suspect it's getting worse...call it a hunch.
She still wants to meet me, and he asked if that was okay. I said that I didn't want him to be around because it would just get too confusing, how would we all act...he agreed, said he'd probably just do what he did on IRC, hanging back and being quiet. Which seemed to me to be a perfect segue into "So, you're having a party next weekend?" as a subject line. Well, I didn't say it like that, but I told him I'd deducted it. "Well, it's kinda up in the air..." I said that I wouldn't go to it, I have other things to do next weekend and it would all just be too strange. He was relieved...he'd already invited Zoe to it, and she was weirding out, and he wanted to invite me, but, well...I said something like well, this can be worked out, and I already got New Year's. On the holiday bit, I said that I'd never invite him over for any family gathering holidays, since I don't want to inflict people I like to their asshole behavior. I went on for awhile about how weirding out this all is/confusing, and he said that he's lucky that I put up with this/stick around...the way he talks sometimes I think he thinks that he's going to destroy my life because he's so corrupted and I'm not, or that I'm going to just up and dump him for either that or the polyamory. Ha. Right now, no, not happening... "I wouldn't like it if you left me." he said.
Out of the blue, he said something like how he was worried that the "right man for me" might show up, and that I wouldn't get him because he'd be looking for a single girl. And I just got very annoyed by his saying this. One, I don't know if there is a right man for me "out there", and two, I don't know if he's it or not. I was really bummed out hearing this, because he used to talk like he was the right one for me, and now he went back to the whole I'm-going-to-ruin-her-life thing. Which I don't agree with. People choose to be corrupted most of the time, in my opinion, it's not as if I've done anything that I didn't want to do. I really got on him for saying this, I really didn't like it. Depressing, to hear the guy you love say things like he's going to ruin your life somehow. Whether he is or not, I don't know (and if this polyamory bit keeps up for years or so it'll probably prove that he isn't), but don't ruin the good time right now by talking like that!!
In the morning he had to go meet with his aunt (8 am!) to work on their book or whatever they do. He invited me to that last week, but he wouldn't take me with him once he realized that I'd miss my 9 am class, said he was already enough of a bad influence on me (I HATE 9 AM. I MUST AVOID THIS NEXT QUARTER AT ALL COSTS.). Did say that he wished he could somehow slip me into his clothes and bring me with him (awww...odd, a bit, but awww). That was sure a switch...me not having to get up and him having to, while I try to stall him...=)
I miss him already.
Spent the afternoon shopping for Valentine's stuff for him, which was um, interesting...I finally wound up buying some massage oil. Mmmmm. I don't know if/what else I may or may not get him. Since we won't be doing much/anything for VD, it's difficult.
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