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Hey! You made it! You brave soul, you. I'm proud! Well, welcome to my piss and moan page. Listed below are a few things that piss me off, bust my hump, and generally make me go "what the hell??". It's basically just random babblings about varied issues. I hope none of this pisses you off..but if it does..good. *grin*
______Women's Issues______
Well, since I'm a woman, this seems to be as good a place to start as any. Ok? Ready? Here I go. First of all, what the hell is with all of these lame commercials for "feminine hygene" products, hosted by Kim Alexis? I mean...do we REALLY need to know that much about her vagina? No, I don't think so. But, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "that's not really a woman's issue." Well..I'm sorry..this is my page, not yours. Thank you. Let's move on now. Abortion. Yay or Nay? YAY!! YAY! YAY! Yes, damnit, a woman has every right to do whatever a woman wants to her body. And no, you should have no say so in it what-so-ever. I mean, for crying outloud, when a woman gets an abortion, most of the time she's aborting a few cells. There's no SOUL in there! Get over it. My ex once told me "whenever I hear about a woman getting an abortion I hear thousands of babies crying." Uh..yeah, right. That's like saying "whenever I eat yogurt I can hear the active cultures scream." Ok. I'll move on now. Why do we, as women, torture ourselves about the way we look, what we wear, and, more importantly, how much we weigh?? I mean, please..you don't see men doing that. It seems like we've all become so jaded. We have to be thin, tall, hard as a rock, with great big, pendulous breasts. Puh-lease. Ya know, I read an article stating that most of the world finds more voluptuous women attractive? Didja know that Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14? Here's my point. SCREW SOCIETY! Just be who you want to be! Don't worry about your size or shape! It doesn't matter. And if anyone tells you it does..do what I do. Deck them!!
______Sex?______
Um..no, thanks. I'll pass. I'm saving myself. For what, I dunno. I mean, I don't really believe in marriage, so..who knows. Ok, I'm saving myself for someone who doesn't wear silkpants, try to stick his toe up my you-know-what, and who, when I'm in the "heat of..faking passion.." doesn't say "WHAT??!!!". Perhaps someone like...*giggle* Nevermind, my point is. Uh..no, that wasn't it. Here we go. SEX IS OVER-RATED! I mean, c'mon, people. These days sex is bought, sold, published, photographed and thrown in our faces every five minutes. Hell, you can't watch a soap commercial anymore without seeing part of someone's ass. This is rediculous. Sex is something beautiful two be shared between between to people (yes, that includes gays and lesbians, damnit.)who love eachother. It's also used to make babies. Little, screaming babies. But, on the downside, it's also used to make AIDS, Herpes, and numerous other STD's. Look, if you're gonna do it, do it with a condom. But instead..whynot wait til you find Mr or Mrs Right? Or, in my case "Mr. I don't wanna have kids, boss you around, make you clean, cook, or do me any favours, and Oh, I've been such a bad boy, Mistress". Until then, there are alot of fun things to do with whipped cream, candle wax, whips, and ofcourse, peanutbutter. I'd suggest a parakeet for the wild at heart. Though..I find that vaguely disgusting. *cringe*
______Gay Rights!______
Yes! Rights! Lots and lots and lots of them! No, all men were NOT created equal. I'm sorry, it just doesn't work that way. Anyone who's ever been discriminated against for anything knows that. But damnit, that doesn't mean that we should see people as "bad" just because they were born differently! Gay people should be allowed to marry, keep house, and do whatever the heck they want to, just like the rest of us! Are you gay? Yeah, you! Well, if you are, more power to you! Ya know, your soul doesn't know what sex a person is. Souls don't see physical beings, they just see other souls. And, in my humble opinion, if you can find someone to love..really love. Who'll love you, someone you can trust, and laugh with..regardless of their sex..well..you're one step ahead of me, man.
______Random Pissing and Moaning______
Ok, you've survived it this far, I guess you can handle alittle more. This is basically a compilation of little things that make me really...well..you know. Things that don't really fit into the other section. Things like...Tara Lipinksi. Um..No? Ok, now that that's outta the way. How's about we talk about the SpiceGirls? No, I don't wanna be your lover, or your friend, and can you PLEASE put on somemore clothes and take a few voice lessons? Dear God, I sing better then they do..why aren't I rolling in the dough? I'll move on now. Let's see. A-ha! Rude people! Ya know, the ones who wham you in the butt at the grocery store with a shopping cart. The one's who give you dirty looks for no apparent reason. Ouch? More..hmmm..Well, docters, in general, bother me. I mean, there's one for everything. Yes, they do alot of good, but the way it is today it's like people are obsessed, or something. There's one for your mind, one for your butt, one for your foot, one for your skin, one for your twat..there's even one to stick a little tube up you guys' weenies! Yep! Fun,fun,fun. What I wanna know is..are people really getting sick, or are people MAKING themselves sick? Something to think about. And another thing! Religious fanatics. People who believe the bible word-for-word. Yeah, right. That'd be like taking a 2000 year old Stephen King novel that'd been re-written several bazzillion times, and saying "Wow..the book speaks the truth". I mean, sure, some of it's true...but just how much? And don't lecture me on how I'm gonna goto hell, either, because there IS no hell. No hell, no devil, and thanks, but there was no talking snake. But that's just my opinion. *shrug* Which leads me to people who think the world's gonna come to an end in the year 2000. I'll tell you what's gonna that New Year's Eve. You're gonna get decked out, and party like it's 1999, because it will be. You'll listen to that lame Prince song, get totally smashed, wake up after DREAMING about getting laid..and ya know what buddy? It'll just be another Saturday. Sorry man, the ship's not coming for you. The little gray men will all have hangovers, and'll be shacked up in some cheap hotel in Roswell. Promise.
Ok, that's it for now. I'm sure more will come in the future..seems like I find new and exciting things that piss me off everyday. Oh, and if you're offended, or wanna comment or something..don't email me. Don't write it in my guestbook. Just leave it alone. I'm sure you have your opinions, and these are mine. If you have a problem, take a deep breath, eat some Ben and Jerry's™ Cherry Garcia™, and I promise, you'll feel alot better.
"Razors pain you.
Rivers are damp.
Acids stain you.
Drugs give you cramps.
Gases smell awful.
Nooses give.
Guns are unlawful.
You might as well live."
-- Dorothy Parker
© 1997, '98, '99 cheshire@lookingglass.net
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