Canada Goose Story
A True Story!!!
{As Told By Camille Breau}
The following, incredible as it may seem is a true story!!! The three people
mainly involved in these series of events which took place are as follows:
George (Kill Three) Breau:
A man in his mid sixties who stands about five feet
nine inches and weighs close to 200 pounds. One look at this man will tell you
he must have been one hell of a guy in his younger years, for his neck and hands,
as well as his overall appearance are that of a great wrestler. He is a devoted
hunter and an addict when it comes to playing tricks!!!
Mrs Emile Duguay (Lydia Robichaud):
Lydia is a daughter of Antoine Robichaud and
resides in Grand Bay near Saint John, New Brunswick. At the time of the event she
was in her mid-thirties and I must admit rather attractive in comparison to the
"Tom-Boy" she was in her earlier teen years. I say this knowingly as we were
brought up in the same neighbourhood. George Breau is Lydia's uncle on her
mother's side.
Camille Breau:
Camille is a son of Fred J. Breau (Sonny) and a first cousin of
the above mentioned, George. I will not elaborate on the character of this man
other than to say that he is in his mid-thirties, for time and words fail me.
However he is quite a character and the original instigator behind this very
story. He is also the author of this story (with the exception of a few lines
above.)
And So The Story Unfolds.....
It was early fall 1976 and I was on my way home from work, and as I occasionally
did, I stopped at Floyd's Tavern in Neguac for a refresher. Upon entering the
tavern I noticed George (Kill Three) Breau sitting at a table alone so I decided
that I would join him. We began chatting casually and as it would be, the
conversation got around to hunting, a sport which we both enjoyed! We were on
our second beer when suddenly George looked all around as if to ensure that no
one was within hearing distance and said to me, "I'm going to let you in on a
secret, but make sure you keep it to yourself!!!" He then proceeded to tell me
of a Canada Goose that he was currently in the process of domesticating. Now,
knowing George I figured he was going to come up with one of his tall tales,
(which is how he inherited the nickname "Kill Three"), however, as he kept
talking I sensed that he was, in fact, telling the truth, and even more so he
was reluctant as to giving details concerning the whereabouts of the goose.
Trying to be as discrete as possible I kept inquiring about the goose and in
order to do so I had to order a third beer. He then explained that he had spotted
it two weeks prior. Obviously it had deviated from it's course, for it would
be at least another two or three weeks before any flocks would be seen.
George apparently had been making regular visits to Malpec, (the location where
the goose had been spotted), and he kept leaving food for the goose to eat. He
furthermore stated that it was domesticated to the point where he would honk and
the goose would answer.
When I finally found out which one of the many small lakes the bird was mostly
seen, I bid George farewell and informed him that I must get home for supper.
By this time (about 6:30 P.M.) I knew that I must work fast as the sun would be
out of sight within an hour or even sooner. But George's sixth-sense must have
warned him of my scheme. He started stalling me by dragging out the conversation.
He suggested that we should both go to the lake the following morning and shoot
the goose. I told him I could not possibly join him in the morning because I
had to be at work in Newcastle.
When I finally made it home, the sun was out of sight. I didn't lose a minute!!!
I hurried Monique, Stephane and Richard (my wife and children) into the car while
I grabbed my 20 gauge shotgun.
It was twilight time when I finally brought the car to a stop a hundred feet or so
from Malpec bridge. With extreme caution I got out of the car and stood motionless,
my eyes scanning every inch of marshland ahead. Finally, I spotted the head of the
goose roughly 150 yards away.
For over twenty minutes I crawled inch by inch, through mud and water. The only
sound I could hear was that of my heart pounding to beat old hell and my
breathing (which I held as much as I possibly could). Luckily the wind was
blowing my way, and the tall grass provided cover from the goose which was now
becoming obviously nervous. Twenty yards of grassless mossland was the only thing
between us now. In one continuous motion, I took aim, got up and fired! I
quickly reloaded and seeing the goose lifting out of the water, thought I had
missed. However, as I was getting ready for the second shot, down she came,
and what a beauty she was!!! Well over 13 pounds!!! I was really proud of
myself at this point...My First Canada Goose!!!
We then set out for home with the famous bird after making a stop at Lydia's
rented cottage to show her the prize goose, Lydia was here vacationing from
Saint John.
Now that I had the bird home I realized that I knew absolutely nothing about
plucking one so I decided I might as well break the news of the kill to George
and hope that he would agree to show me how it should be done. Away I went
to Floyd's Tavern in search of George, but when I arrived he was no where in
sight. Raymond Doucet then told me that he was gone to a Senior Citizens
Banquet in Legaceville. I then returned home and decided to pluck the bird as
best as I could.
That same evening, Lydia came to the house and she also helped with the plucking,
a long and painful job for unexperienced hands. It was almost midnight before we
finally cleaned up the mess of fluff and feathers which were scattered all over
the kitchen floor and beyond. We could not help but laugh at the thought of
George's reaction when he'd learn about his beloved goose! It was about this
time that Lydia came up with a plan that I could not resist putting into action!!!
We stuffed the long neck of the goose complete with the head into a paper bag,
along with the wings and both legs. I then drove to George's home (approximately
6 miles) and set the bag on top of his car. It was now about 1:30 A.M. and
they were all in bed.
The next morning when George noticed the bag, his first reaction was to use the
utmost care in dismounting it, fearing it may be a backlash from one of his
numerous unaccountable pranks he has pulled on so many people!!! With a long
stick in hand he slid the bag off the car and with distrust, carefully opened it
and found the contents!!! Needless to say, he quickly realized what had
happened and my health would have been at stake had I been within his reach at
that precise moment. He called me everything but a gentleman!!! He phoned
me the same day and swore he'd get back at me one way or another! Naturally,
I just couldn't help but laugh even though I honestly felt sorry for him because
I knew he just loved to pay visits to the goose which was just as he said,
"Rolling in fat"
Now that our trick on George was a success, like grass fire, the series of events
concerning the goose quickly spread and God knows poor George was tormented and
harassed by more people than enough. It finally got to the point where both George
and his wife Sylvia were, with reason, getting irritated with the whole thing.
Some would even make phone calls at all hours of the night and when George would answer,
they would imitate the goose call and hang up.
In the meantime, little was I to know that Lydia had further plans in mind. With
the help of my sister Gloria, she arranged to get the now frozen goose out of
my freezer and with her vacation nearing completion, Lydia returned to Saint John,
taking the goose with her!!!
Meanwhile, my Mother, who had witnessed the kidnapping, was getting somewhat upset
concerning the whole series and unrolling of events. Two days later, she decided to
tell me about the goose being gone rather than let me find out the hard way. I
listened in disbelief as she explained what had happened. Naturally, my Mother
felt sorry for me, but dearly hoped that this would put an end to the whole thing,
which by now was creating a sort of hostility amongst the parties involved. I,
never-the-less, checked my freezer, but the goose was indeed gone...some 200 miles
away for that matter!!!
Heaven knows, I was very determined to get that goose back. Time and distance
were big obstacles, for if I was to ever lay hands on that bird again, it would
have to be done quickly before any doubts arose.
The following day, I came up with a plan. I phoned Lydia's home in Saint John,
disguised my voice and asked to speak to her son Paul. Paul and I had always
gotten along well as buddies whenever we got together despite the age difference,
(Paul at this time was in his late teens). After his younger sister answered
the phone and got Paul on the line, I immediately cautioned him not to mention
my name and breifly explained the situation. Paul had already heard of the
happenings and needed no further details, my request was right up his alley...to
transfer the goose from his mothers' freezer to one belonging to a friend until
the occation arose to have it sent back to me. I also asked him to advise me
as soon as the transfer was made. No later than the next day, I received a
person-to-person collect call from Paul with the following message, "Mission
Accomplished." Words fail me as to the relief that message gave me!!!
During this scheming time between Paul and myself, I received a card
from Lydia to further aggitate me. It was a handmade card inviting us to a
Canada Goose dinner at the residence of Mr. & Mrs. Emile Duguay. Even the envelope had
a picture of a goose head on it! I could just visualize Lydia laughing her
head off at the thought of me acknowledging the card, which one must admit, was
of the utmost originality considering the circumstances. I particularly savoured
the joke knowing well that Paul had by this time made the transfer!!!
In the meantime, George had been informed by Lydia that the goose had been secretly
swept from my possession. This meant a lot to George although he had not personally
taken part in the kidnapping. In fact, George visited me one day and I could tell
he was doing his best to keep from laughing, for he was unaware that I already knew
about the goose being in Lydia's possession, (incidently the goose was now in Paul's
care.) In any case, I never let on and we both laughed and joked about the original
killing of the bird, each cherishing his own secret.
A few days later, I received a call from Paul advising me that the
bird was finally on it's way back to me by the way of Rudolphe Lebreton, who happened to be passing through Saint John on his way home to Neguac. A couple of hours later, I finally had my hands on the migratory bird. Rudolphe later admitted that he had barely resisted the temptation to hand the goose over to George!!! This would have been , no doubt, George's most glorious revenge!!!
With the help of a friend, Graham Wade, who is quite a good hand at drawing, I then had a card made up and mailed it to Lydia. The card showed a plucked Canada Goose flying out of a deep freezer. Well....when Lydia got the card, that's when the shit really hit the fan, (if you'll pardon the expression)!!! George and I had both gotten our share of disappointment but this was the icing on the cake!!! She was desperate!!! Every soul she knew in Saint John whom she thought may have been my connection, got a visit from Lydia!!! She turned their freezers inside out, but in vain. The goose was safely locked away in Neguac. It is a true fact that in all the travel and handling, the bird never once thawed out!!!
A few weeks later on Thanksgiving Day, we had a reunion of most of the parties involved in this story and we enjoyed a most delicious feast, the famous Canada Goose!!! My wife cooked it and it was served at Lydia's cottage, which she had rented for the long weekend.
Needless to say, George was there and he was presented with a trophy, it being a man taking aim with a rifle. The following words were engraved on it...
To George (Kill Three)
for
"The Goosiest Story Of The Year"
I would like to Thank Camille Breau for taking the time to write
this story so that it would not be forgotten!!!
I would also like to Thank Lydia Duguay, my godmother, for supplying me with a copy of this story so I could share it with all of you on the internet!!!
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