Thursday, May 28, 1998. 12:13PM.
I need a vacation from a lot of things, my life just to name one, so I'll be takin a break from everything for awhile.
Didn't mean to bother anyone, just had to get that off my chest.

Wednesday, June 3, 1998. 12:38 AM.
I decided to use this to make contact with the outside world. For some time now, I've isolated myself in this trailer, though partly not by my choice. The phone does not ring, the "you've got mail" sound does not announce, and the IM chime does not sound. But I find myself strangely at peace. Perhaps this is because every time I do talk with someone, I end up getting my feelings hurt. I tend to always look for the worst in situations. But for almost two weeks straight now, I've sat in this trailer every night, alone, in front of this damned computer. I've got half a mind to throw it through the window. How should I look at this? I mean, one of the reasons I returned to NJ was to have more fun. But am I? Not really. I mean I do more stuff, but it isn't all that fun. I can honestly say I've only done three fun things since I've been back, and two of them were just seeing movies. Some people are busy, some have lives of their own, and I know there are those who just don't care. Yeah, I can be an asshole sometimes, but I blame that on my less than normal childhood. I find it hard to trust people since I guess I have a tendency to be abandoned by people. My friends in Cuba abandoned me when they left, my dad abandoned me when he took the job in Cuba, and both my parents abandoned me when they stuck me to live with my grandmother and let her have free reign over my life. Wow, kinda had a breakthrough there. I'm used to psychoanalyzing my friends with their problems, not with mine. Anyway, kinda weird that I feel that I'm back in Florida since all I'm doin is watchin TV and on the computer. I still have things to think about it seems.
Didn't mean to bother anyone, just had to get that off my chest.

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