End of Commitment

12/01 When should someones commitment to another person end? Is it when the law says its over or when the heart does? When I say law, I mean both laws of man and of God. Some people would say that when the law says that you're done, you're done. You can stop any kind of support... you no longer have any responsibility. Others would say that when you no longer love a person, then that is where it ends. I happen to think it is a combination of both. A commitment is exactly that. It's a promise to yourself and, in the case of marriage, to the other person AND God to try your best to make the relationship work. How far should a promise be taken? I for one believe that a promise is a forever thing. In the case of my marriage, I made a promise to her and to God that I would love her and be her husband for better or for worse (and we have definetly been through the "worse") until death do us part (but neither one of us is dead, so that doesn't let me out of it). It also says in the bible that in the event of marital unfaithfulness that it is ok for the other to get a divorce. But what it DOESN'T say is that you have to get a divorce. I seem to recall a part in the bible where a man had a wife who was a prostitute. Not only did he stay with her, but he did it in the face of public disgrace. That poor man even went as far as to buy his own wife off the block. What I have gone through is little when compared to that. I have made some promises that I have yet to keep to her. 3 to be exact. One is of a honeymoon (and even though it would not be a romantic venture, Acapulco is about as good as gets). The second is for a true engagement/wedding ring. That will be kept in time. The last, and most important, are my marital vows. Now what is the point in keeping the other promises if I'm not even keeping my marital vows? That is the dilemma I'm faced with. God says it's ok to end my marriage (but not necessary) and the law is going to say it is over, but I cannot bring my heart to concur with the other two. In my heart, I am still married and as much as I try to hide it it shows. Now, do I do what I can to repair the damage, or do I count my losses? I really would appreciate any advice people out there would have.

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