Here’s a little something I got in the e-mail. It is kind of funny and kinda true too (some of it). I don’t claim to have created it so don’t say that I did. I’ve converted it to a little test just to let you know how many of the items match to you. Please don’t take this too seriously. After all, we all need a laugh now and then. Don’t worry, nobody will know about this test except you (unless of course there’s someone there with you). Anyway, let’s not keep you waiting. Note: This test may or may not be localized to my particular area of the world. I’m not so sure. Well, I guess that’s it. Enjoy!
"Ways to Know You’re Chinese Test"

Check the boxes of the ones that match to you…

You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.
You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
You have never used your dishwasher.
You keep a thermos of hot water available at all times.
You boil water and put it in the refrigerator.
You eat all meals in the kitchen.
You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin container.
You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
You always leave your shoes at the door.
You have a piano in your living room.
Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
You iron your own shirts.
You play a musical instrument.
You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
You twirl your pen around your fingers.
You hate to waste food.
    a. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you’ll finish them.
    b. You have tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
You don't own any real tupperware-- only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
You've eaten a red bean possible.
You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit peoples homes.
You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald’s.
Ditto paper napkins.
You never order room service.
You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel.
    a. These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID).
You own a rice cooker.
You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That’s why you need the vinyl tablecloth).
Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous.
You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or business.
When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
You live with your parents and you are 30 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
    a. If you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.
You don't use measuring cups.
You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
You beat eggs with chopsticks.
Your parents house is always cold.
You have a teacup with a cover on it.
You reuse teabags.
You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don't write anymore.
If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman; if you're over 20, you own a really expensive camera.
You mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.
You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Information costs 50 cents.
You tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
You're a wok user.
You only make long distance calls after 11p.m.
You know all the waiters at your favorite Chinese restaurants.
You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
    a. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
    b. Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you.
You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached--means they fresh.
You never call your parents just to say hi.
You always cook too much.
If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
Also, if you don't live at home, your parents always want you to come home.
Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick.
When you're sick, they also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air (yeet hay in Cantonese).
You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart.
Your parents never go to the movies.
Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
You use a face cloth.
Your parents use a clothes line.
You're always late.
You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat-sushi.
You've joined a CD club at least once. Or twice.
You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
You never discuss your love life with your parents.
Your parents are never happy with your grades.
You save your old coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again.
You keep used batteries.
You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
You keep most of your money in a savings account.
You know what MJ means.
You've been on the "Love Boat" or know someone who has.
It's perfectly normal to eat a huge meal a midnight (da nang).
Other people phone their grandparents to say hi . . . we just go downstairs.
Your car is solid white . . .
Your car is solid white with a "NKS" sticker on the back.
One pint of beer is either way too much or your face turns all red.
As opposed to white partents, you can tell right away who is Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc.
Other people talk way too softly.
You have bars on your windows.
Certain parts of your ceiling have carbon stains from all the incense your mother burns at Chinese New Year.
You have pictures of dead relatives in your kitchen (which by the way freaked you out as a kid).
Your parents, to prove their superior wisdom, always say (translated from Cantonese) "I've eaten more salt than you've eaten rice".
Not only do you buy lots of toilet paper and store them, but when Safeway limits the number of toilet paper per customer, you bring other relatives.
It's perfectly normal to bring a bottle of Johnny Walker (Red Label of course) to a restaurant.

If there are a number of you who don’t like this test, please contact me and I will gladly remove it. I didn’t create a table for this particular test because who can tell me what EXACTLY is a Chinese person? I’d like to think that we are what we are. Oh well, thank you for answering the "Ways to Know You’re Chinese Test"! I hope you’ve enjoyed answering it as much as I’ve enjoyed preparing it.
E-mail me at ezwhyseductive.com for any comments and suggestions.
BACK
This page hosted by GeoCities Get your own Free Home Page