God's Christmas Letter to All,
 
My Dear Children (and believe me, that's all of you), I consider myself a
pretty patient guy. I mean, look at the Grand Canyon. It took millions of
years to get it right. And about evolution? Boy, nothing is slower than
designing that whole Darwinian thing to take place, cell by cell, and
gene by gene. I've been patient through your fashions, civilizations,
wars and schemes, and the countless ways you take Me for granted until
you get yourselves into big trouble again and again.
 
But on this occasion of My Son's birthday, I want to let you know about
some of the things that are starting to tick me off.
 
First of all, your religious rivalries are driving Me up a wall. Enough
already! Let's get one thing straight. These are YOUR religions, not
Mine.  I'm the whole enchilada; I'm beyond them all. Every one of your
religions claims there's only one of Me (which by the way, is absolutely
true). But in the very next breath, each religion claims it's My favorite
one. And each claims its bible was written personally by Me, and that all
the other bibles are man-made. Oh Me. How do I even begin to put a stop
to such complicated nonsense?
 
Okay, listen up now. I'm your Father AND Mother, and I don't play
favorites among My children. Also, I hate to break it to you, but I don't
write.  My longhand is awful, and I've always been more of a doer anyway.
So ALL of your books, including those bibles, were written by men and
women. There were inspired, remarkable people, but they also made mistakes
here and there. I made sure of that, so that you would never trust a
written word more than your own living heart.

You see, one human being to me--even a bum on the street--is worth more
than all the Holy Books in the world. That's just the kind of guy I am.
My Spirit is not an historical thing, it alive right here, right now, as
fresh as your next breath.
 
Holy books and religious rites are sacred and powerful, but not more so
than the least of you. They were only meant to steer you in the right
direction, not to keep you arguing with each other, and certainly not to
keep you from trusting your own personal connection with Me.
 
Which brings Me to My next point about your nonsense. You act like I need
you and your religions to stick up for Me or win souls; for My sake.
Please, don't do Me any favors. I can stand quite well on my own, thank
you.  I don't need you to defend Me, and I don't need constant credit. I
just want you to care  for and be good to each other.
 
And another thing: I don't get all worked up over money or politics, so
stop dragging My name into your dramas. For example, I swear to Me that I
never threatened Oral Roberts. I never rode in any of Rajneesh's Rolls
Royces. I never told Pat Robertson to run for president, and I've never
EVER had a conversation with Jim Bakker, Jerry Falwell, or Jimmy
Swaggart! Of course, come Judgement Day, I certainly intend to...

The thing is, I want you to stop thinking of religion as some sort of
loyalty pledge to Me. The true purpose of your religions is so that YOU
can become more aware of ME, not the other way around. Believe Me, I know
you already. I know what's in each of your hearts, and I love you with no
strings attached. Lighten up and enjoy Me. That's what religion is best
for.
 
What you seem to forget is how mysterious I am. You look at the petty
differences in your Scriptures and say, Well, if THIS is the truth, then
THAT can't be But instead of trying to figure out My Paradoxes and
Unfathomable Nature--which by the way, you NEVER will--why not open your
hearts to the simple common threads in every religion?
 
You know what I'm talking about: Love and respect everyone. Be kind. Even
when life is scary or confusing, take courage and be of good cheer, for I
am always with you. Learn how to be quiet, so you can hear My still,
small  voice (I don't like to shout). Leave the world a better place by
living your life with dignity and gracefulness, for you are My Own Child.
Hold back nothing from life, for the parts of you that can die surely will,
and the parts that can't, won't. So don't worry, be happy (I stole that last
line from Bobby McFerrin, but Who do you think gave it to him in the
first place?)
 
Simple stuff. Why do you keep making it so complicated? It's like you're
always looking for an excuse to be upset. And I'm very tired of being
your  main excuse. Do you think I care whether you call me God, Yahweh,
Jehovah, Allah, Wakantonka, Brahma, Father, Mother or even the Void of
Nirvana?  Do  you think I care which of My special children you feel
closest to--Jesus, Mary, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed or any of the others?
You can call Me and My Special Ones any name you choose, if only you would
go about My business of loving one another as I love you. How can you keep
neglecting something so simple?
 
I'm not telling you to abandon your religions. Enjoy your religions,
honor them, learn from them, just as you should enjoy, honor, and learn from
your parents. But do you walk around telling everyone that your parents are
better than theirs?  Your religion, like your parents, may always have the
most special place in your heart; I don't mind that at all.
And I don't want you to combine all the Great Traditions in One Big Mess.
Each religion is unique for a reason.
Each has a unique style so that people can find the best path for themselves.
But My Special Children--the ones that your religions revolve around--all
live in the same place (My heart) and they get along perfectly, I assure you.
The clergy must stop creating a myth of  sibling rivalry where there is none.
 
My blessed children of Earth, the world has grown too small for your
pervasive religious bigotries and confusion. The whole planet is
connected by air travel, satellite dishes, telephones, fax machines, rock
concerts, diseases, and mutual needs and concerns. Get with the program!
If you really want to help Me celebrate the birthday of My Son Jesus, then
commit yourselves to figuring out how to feed your hungry, clothe your naked,
protect your abused, and shelter your poor. And just as importantly, make
your own everyday life a shining example of kindness and good humour.
I've given you all the resources you need, if only you abandon your fear of
each other and begin living, loving, and laughing together.
 
Finally, My Children everywhere, remember whose birth is honored on
December 25th, and the fearlessness with which He chose to live and die.
As I love Him, so do I love each one of you. I'm not really ticked off, I
just wanted to grab your attention because I hate to see you suffer. But I
gave you free will, so what can I do now other than to try to influence you
through reason, persuasion, and a little old-fashioned guilt and
manipulation? After all, I AM the original Jewish Mother. I just want you
to be happy, and I'll sit in the Dark.
 
 I really Am, indeed, I swear, with you always.  Always.  Trust in Me.
 
 Your One and Only,
 
 God

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