13> When listening for fetal heartbeat, doctor hears faint sounds of a game
 of water polo.

 12> Your womb has more kicks than the Rockettes and those Riverdance bozos
 combined.

 11> On the way to the hospital, your water breaks and your convertible
becomes a mobile hot tub.

 10> The turf war between local Pampers and Luvs sales reps is escalating.

 9> You feel extremely nauseous and distressed -- and you're not watching a
Pauly Shore movie.

 8> Your water breaks to the sound of hammering and animals shuffling by in
 pairs.

 7> Fire Marshall hassles you about being in violation of maximum occupancy
 laws.

 6> Other pregnant women: as big as a house. You: as big as Bill Gates's
house.
 
 5> More nude children in your ultrasound picture than in Michael Jackson's
 playroom.
 
 4> You're dilated to the size of the Lincoln Tunnel and your doctor has
 started yodeling.
 
 3> Court order from Disney warning you to avoid copyright infringements
 when naming the children.
 
 2> There was an intermission during your sonogram.
 
and the Number 1 Sign You're About to have Septuplets...
 
 1> Forget about gentle kicks -- your abdomen feels like the mosh pit at a
 Green Day concert.

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