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1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, but where is yours? Do you point at your crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy, considering he has nopenis.
3. People who are willing to get off their butts to search the entire room for the TV remote, but they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. Go figure...
4. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it to." What good is a cake if you cant eat it? What else should I dowith it?
5. When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Of course it is, genius. Why, would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this?
6. When people say, while watching a movie, "Did you see that?" NO. I paid $7.75 to come to the theater and stare at the ceiling. What did you come here for?
7. The radio ad says, "Hi. I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey band. Don't drink and drive. I don't." Well, I sure as hell hope you don't drive sober either, Mr. Healey. You're blind!
8. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya?
9. When something is "new and improved" which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement then how can it be new?
10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks you, "Do you know how fast you were going?" If I get the answer to this one are you NOT going to give me a ticket? You should know. You pulled me over.
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