A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash. She sits
down at the bar next to a drunk.
The drunk rolls around, leans over, and splat! He pukes all over the dog.
The drunk looks down, sees the little dog struggling in the pool of
vomit, and slurs, "I don't remember eating that!"
A guy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly
lady. A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and let loose a
big noisy WET fart.
Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her,
"Do you by any chance have today's paper?"
The lady looked at him and said, "No, but the next time we pass by a tree
I'll grab you a handful of leaves."
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at
night!"
