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Bizzare Elephant Crime!
Yes, that elephant's name IS Stefan.
PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zoo-keeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed
his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more
than a bushel of berries, figs,
and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly,
and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say that the ill-fated Friedrich, 46,
was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema
when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump truck full of mud.
"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked
Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground,
where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant
continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him,"
said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.
"With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung
for at least an hour before a watchman came along,
and during that time, the keeper suffocated.
It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that happen."
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