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Dumb Crook News
LISTS...
SMASH-AND-RUN THIEVES GET TAGGED
A pawn shop owner in Kinston, NC who has been burglarized ten times
in recent years has gradually turned his shop into a fortress. The building
is equipped with automatic alarms, hidden cameras, motion detectors, barred
doors, a locked vault, and trip lines that fill the building with pepper
spray. But when thieves drove a car through the back door of the building
and made off with several thousand dollars worth of items recently, they
ended up getting caught for a low-tech reason: when they crashed into the
building, the license plate fell off the car they were driving. Captain
Randy Askew of the Kinston Police department said: "We appreciate the
criminal element that make our jobs easier when they do dumb things."
TALK ABOUT A SUGAR RUSH...
An 86-year-old man in Lorain, Ohio has been charged with shooting at
his live-in caregiver in an argument over a bag of sugar. Police say the
woman and her niece had just returned from the store and were unloading
groceries. The man thought the pair had forgotten to buy sugar, and opened
fire. He was charged with attempted murder and several weapons violations.
As it turned out, the woman had bought the sugar, but had not yet brought
it into the house.
DON'T WORRY JUNIOR...DADDY WILL GET IT
An Alberta, Canada man attempted to dislodge a toy stuck in his toilet
by pouring five gallons of gasoline into the bowl. The fumes from the gas
were ignited by a nearby furnace pilot light. The resulting explosion caused
60 thousand dollars in damage.
NICE MOVE, GRANNY
A woman in Hazel Park, Michigan was unable to drive her car because
of a steering wheel lock placed in the car by her children. Frustrated,
the woman tried to remove the lock by burning it off. Good news: the lock
came off. Bad news: the fire competely destroyed the car.
OH YEAH...THE GUY WAS ASKIN' FOR IT...
A Pritchard, Alabama man was convicted of manslaughter for stabbing
his roomate to death after an argument turned violent. according to police,
The argument started when the man returned home to find his roomate had
eaten all the pig's feet out of a pot of black-eyed peas.
DUMB LAWYER NEWS
Attorneys for a convicted killer have asked the Nevada Supreme Court
to spare his life because the television cartoons he watched as a child
left him "unable to understand death." The defendant's Public
defender says his client is "confused by Roadrunner cartoons..."
A LITTLE CHEAP COLOGNE CAN BE A LIFESAVER
A drug store security guard in Reno, Nevada grabbed a man on suspicion
of shoplifting. The guard tallied the haul at $254 - which was bad news
for the suspect: in Nevada, the theft of merchandise worth more than $250
is a felony. But the thief pointed out to the guard that a bottle of cologne
he'd allegedly swiped was on sale. That dropped the total cost of the goods
to $248.16. The man was charged with petty larceny - a misdemeanor.
AND HOW 'BOUT CHECKIN' THE OIL TOO...
A man in Shelburne, Nova Scotia was sent to jail for 45 days on a DUI
charge. A police officer spotted the man's truck weaving on the highway,
and as he pulled into a gas station, the officer drove in behind him. According
to the officer, the man got out, walked back to the patrol car, leaned in
and told the officer, "Fill 'er up."
AND FINALLY...
A man in Sacramento, California was convicted of armed robbery after
committing a series of hold-ups with his criminal gang. They were busted
after they used the loot to form their own record company, and released
an album of rap songs detailing their crimes...
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