law and disorder
Florida: A thief burst into the bank one
day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
"FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F----UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers
started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been
about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still
at large. In memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved,
"Freeze, mother-stickers, this is
a f----up!"
Seattle..... When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much
more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose
into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying it was
the best laugh he'd ever had.
David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I., after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver
and stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each,
and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.
Oklahoma City... Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court this
week when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of
defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman
of lying and then said, "I should of blown your [expletive] head off." The defendant paused, then quickly
added, "-if I'd been the one
that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30 year sentence.
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit
the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper
of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their
truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper
still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
For your pleasure from Newfoundland,
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