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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why don't men have mid-life crisis?
They stay stuck in adolescence.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys 2 cases of beer instead of 1.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus clowns don't talk.
What makes men chase woman they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention
of driving.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?
Exchange him.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half
the time.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year the dog is still excited to see you.
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next
time.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men know about Women.
Why don't men eat more M&M's?
They're too hard to peel.
What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
How can you tell if a man's sexually excited?
He's breathing.
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Why are blond jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know, it's never happened.
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