Animal owners should love these!

Subject: Pet Resolutions

The Top 12 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets

12. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.

11. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.

10. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

9. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.

8. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.

7. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

6. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on 'roids, or they'll flush my ass.

5. Always scoot before licking.

4. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

3. Get out of castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.

And the Number 1 New Year's Resolution Made by Pets...

1. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.

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