GLAD I'M A WOMAN
I'm glad i'm a women , yes i am yes i am
I don't live off of budweiser , beer nuts and spam
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections
I won't drive to hell before i ask for directions
I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown
and I know how to put the damn toilet seat down
I won't grab your hooters , I won't pinch your butt
my belt buckles not hidden beneath my beer gutt
and I don't go around "re - adjusting" my crotch
or yell like tarzan when my headboard gets a notch
I don't belch in public , I don't scratch my behind
I'm a women you see , I'm just not that kind
I'm glad i'm a women , I'm so glad i could sing
I don't have body hair like shag carpeting
It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack
and what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb
I'll never buy a toupe to cover my dome
or have a few pulled from over the side
I'm a women you see , I've got to much pride
And I honestly think it's a privilege for me
to have these 2 boobs and squat when I pee
I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball
I don't swagger and spit like a neanderthal
I won't tell you my wife just doesn't understand
stick my hand in my pocket to hide the gold band
or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep
then screw you , roll over and fall sound asleep
Yes i'm glad i'm a women a women you see
you can forget all about that old penis envy
I don't long for male bonding , I don't cruise for chicks
join the hair club for men or think with my dick
I'm a women by chance and i'm thankful it's true
I'm so glad i'm a women and not a man like you
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