You
know you're a Mother when......
- You count the sprinkles on each
kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal
- You have time to shave only one
leg at a time.
- You hide in the bathroom to be
alone, but they follow you in.
- Your kid throws up and you catch
it.
- You drop your sandwhich on the
floor, pick it up and eat it anyway.
- Someone else's kid throws up at a
party. You keep eating.
- You've mastered the art of placing
large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a
plate without anything touching.
- You cling to the high moral ground
on toy weapons; your child chews his toast
into the shape of a gun.
- You hope ketchup is a vegetable,
since it's the only one your child eats.
- You can't bear the thought of your
son's first girlfriend.
- You hate the thought of his wife
even more.
- You find yourself cutting your
husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.
- You hear your mother's voice
coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT
in
your good clothes!"
- You stop criticizing the way your
mother raised you.
- You hire a sitter because you
haven't been out with your husband in ages, then
spend half the night checking on the kids.
- You use your own saliva to clean
your child's face.
- You say at least once a day,
"I'm not cut out for this job", but you
know you
wouldn't trade it for anything.
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