You know you're a Mother when......

You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal
You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone, but they follow you in.
Your kid throws up and you catch it.
You drop your sandwhich on the floor, pick it up and eat it anyway.
Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.
You've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a
plate without anything touching.
You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast
into the shape of a gun.
You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.
You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
You hate the thought of his wife even more.
You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.
You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in
your good clothes!"
You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then
spend half the night checking on the kids.
You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.

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