You get a bit of a paper cut, but you carry on despite the quarts of spurting blood.

The Inexplicable Trout
The Whims of Ms. Tosterone
Pinata Death Cry
Pembroke Gravy Train
Electrified Flounder Toss
The Gross Misuse of Punctuation
Shanghai Antacid Express
Strawberry Wheezebag Excess
The Doom-Gnats
The Diary of Capt. Courageous
The Cabinet of Capt. Caligari
Burger Joint Arthritis
Overhead Nacho Problem
The Case of the Annoying Girl Scout
Wagon-Boy
The Turmoils of Dr. Cheese
The Tornado Wrangler

"Ooooh...I'm gettin' all goose-pimpley...and I like it!" or "I'm beginning to think that this isn't the J. Edgar Hoover Home Page after all...hmmm..."