Stuck in the '80s

Story by Rick Shaw
Exclusively for "Guitar Guitar"

I must be getting old. There once was a time when I ridiculed those "K-Tel Presents" music collections. Now, I simply sit with a puzzled expression on my face as I watch cutting edge artists from a decade ago being mocked by forty year olds with wigs pretending to be sixteen. Even Motley Crue, the Sunset Strip bad boys, have been thrown into the mix. Pinch me because this must be a bad dream. No, better yet, slap me hard. Don't be alarmed if I wake up screaming. Have the headbangers of the past been put out to pasture? At least the guys from Ratt haven't made a special episode of "The Love Boat" yet. Maybe, if we are all lucky, there might be an Heavy Metal version of "Hollywood Squares" with '80s game show favorite, John Davidson.

Why be upset if a bunch of millionaire poseurs bit the dust, you Nirvana-philes may ask? Haven't Beavis and Butthead dictated to the masses that Winger sucks? Well, the answer lies in the fact that Metal was more than just corporate music put out to appeal to the masses without any substance. Unfortunately, the image of Heavy Metal was tarnished by the scene created in the early '90s as Grunge/Alternative stormed onto the scene, and the arena rockers went scrambling for shelter. Ironically, the music industry as a whole is suffering from sagging sales due to the lack of consumer enthusiasm for the bland, non-descript music that floods the market nowadays. Alternative (a term that was coined and meant something entirely different fifteen years ago) has become a caricature of itself, not unlike David Lee Roth or Madonna. It's time for a shake up because the current musical offerings are merely homogenized Seattle reruns.

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