"Mum? Mummy, what happened?" I looked around an unfamiliar room. I was scared, there were things attached to my arms and beeping machines all around me. I couldn't stand being wherever I was. It scared me and claustraphobia set in. I felt naseaus. I couldn't breathe. My throat tightened and it felt as though someone were choking the life out of me. I shut my eyes tightly and screamed as loudly as I could. Zac came running into the room.

"What? Are you ok? What happened?" He looked frantic as he stood helpless, watching me bawl.

"Where... where am I? What happened?" My head felt as though it would explode at any given moment. It felt huge, the size of a watermelon. I felt it and could feel bandages, not hair.

"You collapsed after you fell off your bike and hit your head. I found you lying on the floor in a pool of blood. I've never been so scared in my life Aura, I thought you were going to die."

"Don't say that," I said fearfully.

"Why not? Look at you, you're wasting away," he replied.

"No, skinny people waste away. I'm fat."

"Aura, for the last time, you're not fat!" he yelled.

I looked at him, taken aback by his tone. Zac had never yelled at me. He scared me.

"Get out!" I ordered.

"Aura, please don't-" he begged.

"I said 'GET OUT'!" I screamed.

"Don't do this Aura, I'm not leaving, no matter how much you want me to. You're mother told me to watch you and I'm not going against her wishes. I've done that enough; keeping things from her." He looked at me pleadingly. His eyes were sparkling, filled with tears that looked as though they may spill over without warning at any moment.

"I'm sorry," I replied softly.

"Aura, you're my bestfriend, and my girlfriend. I love you. As a friend I know I love you, as a girlfriend I'm not sure, but I know that if I ever lost you... I don't know... it would suck," he said sincerely.

The door to my room opened. "Aura, Aura, Aura," the doctor clucked his tongue.

I looked at him fearfully.

"You told me you were eating... we're going to have to send you to a clinic. Do you know that you were 10 pounds away from dying? You weigh exactly 65 pounds and if you don't gain any weight you will die." He didn't use any special terms to explain it to me. He looked at me, his face hardened by an emotion I didn't recognize.

"Aura sweetie? Are you awake?" My mother burst in the room. She began to cry when she saw me.

I sat up sharply. Zac saw the fear in my eyes and ran his fingers down my arm until his hand found mine. I clutched his hand tightly, rubbing his hand with my thumb.

"Why are you doing this to yourself? Why? What did I do to deserve this?"

"This isn't your... I thought maybe you and daddy would get back together if I was a better dancer. I don't know... a bettter something, I know I hadn't been a good daughter or else you two wouldn't have seperated to begin with."

"Aura, you're dying. I'm sending you to a clinic." Her jaw was drawn in a firm line.

"No, don't send me away, I'll be good," I promised.

"I simply can't do that, you're going away until you get better."

"No," I screamed. "You said you loved me. You said you would always love me. You can't do this!"

"Shh.." Zac attempted to quiet me. He placed his hand on my back, rubbing it lightly.

"Aura, don't make this harder than it already is," she answered.

"I don't care. You can't send me away, I hate you! I'll never speak to you again!" I threatened.

"Settle down," Zac whispered calmly.

"No," I screamed, letting go of his hand. "Stay out of this. You want me to leave too? You said you loved me!"

My mother stared at us in shock. Her jaw dropped and she looked at us with wide eyes.

"Get out!" I screamed at her. "Get out!"

"I think it's best if you leave Ma'am. We don't want to get her overworked. It could lead to a relapse." The doctor ushered her out of the room.

"Bye. I'll be back later." Zac leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. He took my hand and looked at me for a moment. He kissed my hand and left.

"Aura? May I come in?" Rhea poked her head in my room.

"Yeah," I muttered, looking out the window.

"I heard what happened and I... I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I know, but I didn't discourage you. I've decided to go to a clinic. I told my parents after what happened to you. I'll go with you if you like. We could recover together. Maybe that will make it easier?" She looked at me hopefully.

"I don't know... I'm just trying to think of something. I'm scared, I don't want to go."

"That sounds... I don't know. I want to, but I don't think I can. I don't think I can eat Rhea. It's so hard, it makes me feel so dirty."

"I know, but maybe therapy will help? Take away that feeling?" She looked at me and smiled encouragingly. "Think about it." She left the room and I thought abou it.

"Zac, I've figured it out. Why I did this that is. I just wanted to belong, I just wanted to fit in. To be the best that I could. That's all I ever wanted. Why can't anyone understand that? I just wanted to belong. That's all." I looked around the empty room. Now all I had to do was tell that to him to his face, make him try and understand. Try to see things my way, from my perspective. To realize that I just wanted to belong. Even if I was dying. I just wanted to fit in... To belong.

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