Preamble
After the odd hundred e-mails*
regarding the pure absurdity of my Bohemian
Rhapsody analysis I decided to finally set the record straight. Although
I really did love the e-mails about how plain "wrong" my interpretation
was, everybody seemed to miss the point that interpretation is so flexible
and that anything can mean anything. By using the most overdone,
overscrutinized and overcamp song of the last century, I decided to look
at it from the point of view that Freddie knew he had AIDS. Although
this view is incorrect on so many levels, including that the HIV virus
wasn't recognized until the early to mid 80s and the song was written in
the mid 70s (that and infection didn't take place until the very late 70s
or later), nobody recognized that I could've written about anything and
it wouldn't have been wrong. It's inaccurate but it was convincing
and interpretations are never wrong. This is how wars start, people.
Ok, I'm ending my rant now.
I'd like to point out before I start that I don't mean any disrespect to anyone, including Freddie Mercury, his family, Queen or any general affilation. I am merely an ardent fan adding an extra dimension and thus fully appreciating the music we all know and love, so please don't take it personally!
So
what's this all about?
This theme about
Freddie's issues with his mother wasn't very obvious from the outset.
I'd only noticed it in later interviews when Brian talked about the way
Freddie approached songwriting. In the GHI DVD, he made it evident
that Freddie liked to be obscure about the meaning and subject matter of
his songs, but it didn't mean that he didn't put a lot of thought into
what he wrote about. This triggered some thought into what Freddie
really
meant
in his songs.
It's difficult to find a thread in Queen's music cause most of the time the subject matter is so abstract and the enormous changes in the style of music they played are quite distracting. But if you look, there are themes and it's really fruitful when you find them. Themes, even when they are unanalysed are how fans can identify with 99% accuracy a "Roger" song, if not by the music, by the lyrics... Regardless I never really took the lyrics into account because I thought the music mattered above all else.
First, I'd like to paint the picture of a young Freddie for those who aren't super familiar. He was born in Zanzibar in 1946 to Jer and Bomi Bulsara. If any of you have seen his birth certificate, it's quite humourous because there are mistakes and cross-outs everywhere (talk about identity crisis!). When he was about eight he was sent to boarding school in India. It's hard to speculate what this must have been like because he was very secretive about his past. By watching way too many documentaries and reading too many biographies, I think this would've been a hard time in his life. This may be attributed to being thousands of miles from his family, political and social unrest in his home country, upholding his faith as well as his struggle with his sexuality amongst other things. The family moved to the UK in 1964 due to these difficulties in Tanzania. As his sister, Kashmira once said in an interview, she and Freddie were afraid of being marked as "different" from the cultural stereotype. This is all before Queen began...
Go
on...
So you'd imagine
with all these things happening in Freddie's life, he'd write about some
of the things in his past. However, he didn't. He wrote about
redemption, guilt and unhappiness, all leading to wanting forgiveness from
his mother. This can be stemmed from Freddie's first song My Fairy
King to the last song he ever wrote, Mother Love. It is
impossible to figure out what he exactly wanted forgiveness for, but the
most likely reason would because of his sexuality. Friends often
said Freddie never came out about his bisexuality because it would've distressed
his mother too much. If this is the case, Freddie's music provides
a tragic and realistic insight to the fear imposed by many, that a child
would not be accepted by their parents because they are not heterosexual.
However, this is only a speculative comment but interesting in context
to the music he wrote and the life he led.
So
where's your proof?
Mother mercury
mercury
Look what they've
done to me
I cannot run
I cannot hide
(My Fairy King from Queen I)
Apparently during
the Queen I recordings, after writing this line, Freddie said to Brian
that he was going to become Mercury, because his mother was
the mother Mercury in the song. Hmm, something to think about.
I have sinned
dear Father Father I have sinned
Try and help
me Father
Won't you let
me in? Liar
Mama I'm gonna
try behave
Mama I'm gonna
be your slave
I'm gonna serve
you till your dying day
I'm gonna keep
you till your dying day
I'm gonna kneel
down by your side and pray
Liar liar they
never ever let you win
Liar liar everything
you do is sin
Liar nobody believes
you
Liar they bring
you down before you begin
Now let me tell
you this
Now you know
you could be dead before they let you (be)
(Liar from Queen I)
Liar has a very
angry and upsetting, almost tortured air about it. I'm fairly sure
Richard Blackshaw had a go analysing this a while ago, but I can't remember
what he said. It's been widely acknowledged that Liar is a type of
"confessional" song. A church organ features in the instrumentation
and the first two lines indicate that Freddie's in some kind of confessional
booth, professing his sins. This is bizarre on certain levels, because
of the Catholic imagery associated with confession, while Freddie theoretically
follows an entirely different faith. For this reason the first lines
of this song could easily be a play on words, as Freddie could be confessing
to his real father. This is a likely interpretation because Freddie
also mentions his mother. The lines are pretty self evident, I'm
sure you can draw your own conclusions.
It's so funny
there's nothing to laugh about
My money that's
all you want to talk about
I can see what
you want me to be
No beginning there's
no ending
There's no meaning
in my pretending
Believe me life
goes on and on and on
Forgive me when
I ask you where do I belong
You say I (you
can do it) can't (you can do it
You can go and)
set you free from me
But that's not
true
(In the Lap of the Gods - Revisited from Sheer Heart
Attack)
While Freddie went onto a bit of a tangent
in his songs, writing primarily about Greek mythology (Queen II)
and historical figures and tramps in Sheer Heart Attack, Freddie
only indirectly touched on this issue with his parents in The Lap of
the Gods Revisited. While it's generally considered that In
the Lap of the Gods is about his then girlfriend, Mary Austin, it's
hard to know what Revisited is about because the terms are so general.
To me, in the first verse Freddie's trying to convince his parents that
his lucrative career as a musician is going to work out. At this
time, Queen were having problems with their record company Trident since
they hadn't made much, if any money from their two successful albums and
tours. So you'd imagine while Freddie, himself, was doubting his
career prospects in this band, he felt he needed support and maybe all
he was getting was criticism. The repetitious line "I can see what
you want me to be" is very prophetic in these circumstances because Freddie
acknowledges that he's deviated from his parents' image of the prodigal
son whilst pursuing his dreams.
The second verse, meanwhile, identifies his general "neverending" frustration and his feelings of disconnection from the family unit. The line (fragmented by the "you can do it"s) is kind of sad, "You say I can't set you free from me, but that's not true". It's like he's determined to be completely cut off from their criticism while also cutting himself off from other things.
Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead,
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all
away
Mama ooo,
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really
matters
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves
me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me
go
(Bohemian Rhapsody from A Night at the Opera)
Admittedly, after doing a Bohemian Rhapsody
analysis (& receiving many a bitchy email about it), I really don't
know what the song is about. It's difficult to know especially considering
Freddie always said that he never put much thought into it. In the
context of this analysis, I think it's Freddie imagining he really had
to answer for his mother, repenting for murdering another man (I think
it's called an analogy or something). Notice it's got the same sense
of tragedy as Liar did -- and in Liar Freddie was only
apologising for his slightly debacherous lifestyle. But you have
to notice that he doesn't necessarily repent because he killed the guy,
he's repenting cause he disappointed his mother. The second part
in the song (the I see a little silhouetto of a man bit), I most
definitely think it's the character's journey into hell and still feeling
accountable in death as he did in life. I think this was a big fear
of Freddie's, since he explored other faiths aside from Zoroastrianism
and perhaps going to hell was a possible consequence.... remember this
is only speculative!!
Another line I came across, quite by accident is one from the Prophet Song. I don't think this is really proper evidence since it was written by Brian and it's a complete rehash of what was written in Chapters V- X in Genesis:
From mother's love is the son estranged
Married his own his precious gain
(The Prophet Song from A Night at the Opera)
This could be interpreted as the the son
is estranged because he married his "own". Pretty irrelevent, anyway!
Faiths Freddie explored include the already
mentioned Greek mythology and Catholism, existentialism (in Bohemian
Rhapsody), Islam (in Mustapha), Christianity (in All Gods
People) and issues about morality and basic philosophy in songs like
Don't
Try Suicide and Keep Passing the Open Windows. Certainly
stuff to think about ; )
After Bohemian Rhapsody, Freddie's
songs became more relaxed and frivolous and he progressively saw the perks
in rock stardom (Let Me Entertain You, for instance). Songs
like Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, Bicycle Race, Don't Stop Me Now and
Get
Down Make Love indicate he was becoming more at ease with his sexuality,
even if it was in a very indirect manner. It was not until John Lennon's
death in 1980 and Freddie's tribute track, Life
is Real (Song for Lennon) that some of the old insecurities came
flooding back. While the song sounded very much like a Lennon song,
with the tin-like simple piano line, the accomanying lyrics are very stark,
yet violent and intense.
Guilt stains on my pillow
Blood on my terraces
Torsos in my closet
Shadows from my past
Life is real life is real
Life is real so real
Loneliness is my hiding place
Breast feeding myself
What more can I say?
(Life is Real (Song for Lennon) from Hot Space)
Like Bohemian Rhapsody, there's
this violent imagery combined with a guilty sentiment. Despite the
musical style was a lot like Lennon's, the lyrics were a lot like Mercury's
probably because Lennon's music reminded him of difficulties in his earlier
years. Although I had never understood that "breastfeeding myself"
line, it really makes sense that he was trying to compensate for the relationship
he had with his mother even at 35 years old. What more can I say?
The following years, Freddie wrote about other topics, such as the difficulties
in love and life (consider the entire Works album) as well as becoming
involved in the Highlander-esque A Kind of Magic. It's really interesting
that nearly ten years later on the Innuendo album, Freddie would sing about
facing challenges completely independent of any support.
But if you fall and take a tumble it
won't be far
If you fail you mustn't grumble
Thank your lucky stars
Just savour every mouthful
And treasure every moment
When the storms are raging round you
Stay right where you are
One day you'll be a sergeant major
Oh you'll be so proud
Screaming out your bloody orders
Hey but not too loud
(Don't Try So Hard from Innuendo)
Although this song is a tad wistful, it
gives hope to anyone who is alone and who is having a bad time. I
love the imagery in the lines "when the storms are raging round you, stay
right where you are", it seems so truthful, dark and independent.
The excerpt, shown here in the second paragraph almost seem like the encouraging
words of a mother to a child, yet warning the child not to scream their
orders "too loud"; almost as if any type of outward enthusiastic emotion
was discouraged. This seems perfectly ironic considering how Queen
started and nobody understood how thoroughly serious Freddie really was.
I can see a kind of parallel in my life and society in general, where it's
not good to be considered "ambitious" because it'll be embarrassing when
you fail. Tracks like this, Was It All Worth It and These
are the Days of Our Lives add to the "retrospective" image of Queen
(the beautiful music/yet slightly past it phase). It's kind
of a relief that there was such a change of mentality to the guilty, frustrated
image of Freddie Mercury in 1973 to that of lonely, yet very wise image
of him in 1991.
Hmm.. that's VERY interesting,
so what about Made in Heaven?
Recorded in the time after Innuendo but
before Freddie's untimely death in 1991, the tracks from Made in Heaven
provide a tragic and impassioned look into the final months of Freddie's
life. Although some of the tracks, such as Made in Heaven, Too
Much Love Will Kill You and Heaven for Everyone were written
for entirely different seperate projects from Queen, they provide almost
ironic insight into the inevitable. One of my favourite tracks and
most touching tracks from the album (and one of the most underrated I think)
is Mother Love. It is also rumoured to be the last song Freddie
layed vocals to.
All I want is the comfort and care
Just to know that my woman gives me
sweet mother love
Uh huh
I've walked too long in this lonely
lane
I've had enough of this same old game
I'm a man of the world and they say
that I'm strong
But my heart is heavy, and my hope
is gone
Out in the city, in the cold world outside
I don't want pity, just a safe place
to hide
Mama please, let me back inside
(Mother Love from Made In Heaven)
When I didn't realise what this song was
about it was difficult to decipher what was so moving about this track.
Looking at it in this context, it makes a lot more sense. It can
be interpreted as Freddie attempting to find the same love of a mother
in many different lovers who invariably walked all over him and his generousity.
He may have felt these kinds of destructive relationships may have compensated
for those he lacked, I don't know. But as he says, this is not the
same as he begs "Mama please, let me back inside" and then a door
slams, as if he is shunned still, even after walking "too long in this
lonely lane".
It's difficult to know what was the truth behind the nature in the relationship between Freddie and his parents. Sure you can read biographies, you can read between the lines, you can do all kinds of things but ultimately it doesn't matter. Again, I'm not telling fans or readers to read into this thing literally, look into it with perspective. Take aspects of the music and the stories these guys told and see and understand why you like it so much. I honestly don't meant to cause any offense in the slightest, again I'm just a fan, I really don't know anything at all.
Whew, after all that ranting I feel all cleansed...
Wow Ely, that was so amazing,
where can I write to PRAISE you senseless?
You can email me at elle.gray@lycos.com
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