Get your own Free Home Page
Ashley rode up on Tuff, her horse, and saw a guy laying on the ground in front of her. "Oh boy," she said sarcastically, "The third drunk guy this week! Man, we've got to get that bar away from here." She kicked the seemingly dead body, like she always did with drunks. She heard a moan as she kicked him and turned it over. She noticed the beat up face immediately, "Man, Brian Littrell had a drink, I didn't think he had it in him. No, wait, it looks kinda like he was beat up. Ouch, that's gonna hurt in the morning!"
She tried to push him up onto her horse, but he was too heavy. "Man, if he's the lightest in the group, I'd hate to pick up... HIM!! Owww, owww, my back," she whined as she finally got him up on the horse. The horse dramatically fell as she put Brian up there. "That's what I get for getting a horse that used to be an actor. 'It'll be so easy to train, Ashley,' 'It'll be the easiest horse you ever had to deal with, Ashley,' they said. Oh well, get up." The horse obediently got up, and Ashley thought he actually chuckled. She walked around the big field where she kept her horse, making sure Brian only fell once or twice, okay twelve times, into the mud, each time with optimistic sayings like "Why couldn't he 'a passed out in Hanna's field time," and "I shoulda just left him back there, maybe the aliens drunk Mr. Garrett keeps on talking about could have brought him home."
She decided it was best to take him to the hospital since he was bleeding, otherwise she would have left him on the side of the road. She continued to keep him on Tuff because she didn't want the interior of her car to get bloody. As she walked she hummed "Quit Playin' Games" finding the situation kind of amusing. When she got to the hospital, they took Brian away for overpricing, life insurance checks, and to sign a release form himself in-case any "snaffoos" (don't you just love medical terms??) happened while operating. Ashley went to go put Tuff up, and hurried back in her car.
Brian came out in a wheelchair. He had a black eye, bandage on his head, and had broken his left arm. The doctors told Ashley that Fox was fine, and she could take her partner home, only they were laughing. Then they explained that the bump on the head had caused him to be "a little confused." Ashley sighed, "Oh great. I get to take home a crazy person! Can't you keep him in here until his friends get back?"
The doctors then went into hysteric laughter, and answered, "Oh no, we've got other 'alien obtuctiees' to worry about." Ashley resentfully brought Brian, or Fox, into her car. She sighed as she thought, "This guy is ten times crazier than me, but makes twenty times more money. Life sucks." On the way to Ashley's house Brian broke into a spirited rendition of the Meow Mix jingle. After that he did everyone's favorite, the Double Mint Gum jingle. Then Brian egged Ashley on, "Come on Scully, sing with me, Gorditas! Let's go eat one now." Ashley continually hit her head on the dashboard. When she arrived at her house Brian laughed, "Man, Scully, I knew your house was small but this one takes the cake!"
"Oh, Brain. My knees get weak when you start the sweet talk," Ashley mumbled as she opened the door. "I'm not Brian. I'm Fox Mulder," Brian said quite matter-of-factly. "Yeah, and I'm Celine Dion," Ashley grabbed an ice pack from the freezer. "No, you're Dana Scully," Brian sat on the couch. Ashley sighed and thought, "Oh, and to think I thought that the Backstreet Boys were saner than the Beatles in their 'stoned period'." Ashley went and got a blanket and pillow from the closet and told Brian to get some sleep.
Brian looked serious as ever when he said, "Nuh-uh, the aliens'll get me and take my body like the rest of the band!" Ashley silently chuckled as she thought, "If I was another person, and if he was sane, I'd tell him he could sleep in the same bed with me." Still chuckling Ashley announced, "Well, then just watch Nick at Night. It's a Green Acres marathon." This sent Brian into the Green Acres theme song, and Ashley to bed to put a pillow over her ears.
Get your own Free Home Page