I blossomed fairly late, I suppose. It's been proven that even in grade 11 I wasn't ready for any kind of relationship that involves understanding a female. Not that I am now, it's just that it was first proven in my grade 11 year. Grade 11 was the first year I was in drama. It was basically just a favour, that I played a small part that someone else had dropped out of. Hell, I got to miss a week of math class to prepare for the play, so it wasn't too bad at all. Well, in this play, I played a weak, overzealous hero role (sound familiar?), who had numerous female encounters. First let me say though, in grade 11 I was quite a badass. Well, I looked to be, anyhow. I had the look of a completely unlovable scary bum. Yet, one crept past the defenses. It was one of the actresses that my character had some... relations with. She was tall. No no, I mean... she was tall. And I liked her. But what am I to do? At this point I know nothing of how things work. I mean, I knew even less than I know now, ain't that impressive? I should say so. So yes. I liked this girl, and she liked me. I guess it was kind of obvious. Backstage was always fun. We'd get time alone in the dark. A big deal to someone like who I was in grade 11, but would be kind of tame to most people in grade 11, I suppose. One day the show was over, so there I was, with little contact with this tall blonde girl. Hmn. So what I did was wrestle with my thoughts and feelings as only I could, and one Friday told her how I felt, because I was just tired of going home feeling like I did, really. What she told me was, "Okay, I'll think about it and tell you on Monday". Um, what? Tell me what? Huh? She lived out of town, on a farm, and even at that age I knew there'd be nothing just because of that. But... that didn't turn out to be the case.
So I puzzled all weekend til my puzzler was sore,
and then came Monday with her at my locker door.
She said to me' yes', but I didn't know why
I hadn't asked her anything, just told her my side.
But she took that as an invitation to date, and my fragile ego was eager to accept such a thing, so we had our two weeks of nothingness. I say nothingness, because that's what it was. I didn't know it at the time, but that's how it was. I felt incredible, still. The humourless end came to this one in an interesting way that's yet to be repeated, and I don't think it will be.
It came in a note.
Yes folks, you got it. A note. I'm sure I still have it somewhere, but I only really remember one part of it that said, "and I'll miss you like the desert misses the rain'. Now I laugh so hard about that, because it was a total lie and I had never heard that saying before, so I thought she made it up herself and I thought it was pretty good. So I laugh at her and I laugh at myself. The one spectacularly funny thing that came out of my time with her, well, kind of afterwards, but still... concerning her, I guess, was one night at a rehearsal. It was late, and the school was locked up and we were leaving. We weren't supposed to let anyone into the school when we left. As I and others were just leaving, at the front door was a woman. I didn't see her that way though. This was one big... ugly... mean mean looking woman. About 6'5" and looking to be about 235 pounds. Her face... it was like... like... like Sputnik or something. Sputnik in a cage match with an asteroid belt. And I went and began raving about the ferocity of this mountain woman to the drama teacher, and Farmgirl was nearby. I was going on and on about this frightening woman and how we were all very scared of her menacing presence.
It was Farmgirls mommy.
Ohhh yeah!
Well, anyway... I'll tell you the number one good thing that came out of it all though. She got me started writing. One day she pointed out some guy who had once given her a poem. I became so jealous that I just had to write her something that very night. And I did, borrowing heavily from old Aerosmith that no one but me would have known about. All I remember about that was something about ‘running for the sea'. Oh, it was stink-o-la. But it didn't matter. I kept writing, any time I felt bad... and here you are today. At a page brought to state of living death by some hack kid at a refurbished monitor with black fingernails. Definitely one of the most positive things to come out of any of my relationships. Probably the only thing that beats it is what I learned from my time with Roo...
And what was that? Try Chapter II: Roo.
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