2. Hmn... how do I make this sound not so gross? Hmn... Used hockey pads... oh geez, no, forget this pad one.
3. Hockey players have jerseys with names on them to tell them apart. Girls could learn from this.
4. Hockey teams work together towards a common goal, to win the game. Girls don't really work together, but when they do, their goal is less wholesome... it's to screw with me.
5. Hockey periods are only 20 minutes long, and not too painful unless you're in the game.
6. The final goal of a hockey team is to win the Stanley Cup and parade around with it. The final goal of a girl is to bend you over and thrust themselves directly up your ass to change you.
7. Hockey players wear helmets for safety. But it doesn't always look cool.
8. You fuck up in hockey, you go to the penalty box. You fuck up with girls, no box for you.
9. Some hockey towns have decent traditions, like throwing squid on the ice or wearing all white in the crowds during playoffs. The only girl traditions are to FUCK WITH YOU CONSTANTLY OVER AND OVER.
10. Hockey positions: forward, defense, goal. Girl positions: missionary, doggy, cement- mixer.
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