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*Disclaimer - I do not own any of the members of 'N Sync (nor would I ever really want to...I'm beginning to feel like a broken record here) they belong to their respective owners (lucky twerps). I do, however, own all fictional characters such as Mike, Devon, Ashley, Rachel, Carli, etc. Plagiarism is, as always, illegal so please don't.
Never An Absolution
The gun shot was so loud it made Mike flinch with a sharply indrawn breath. Mike's eyes widened with shock, then with anguish and then with a soul wrenching fear.
"Damn it, JC, no!" Mike cried out in agony as JC jerked with the impact of the bullet and crumpled to the floor, everything moving as if it were in slow motion. Mike's heart ceased to beat and shattered as she looked first at JC's motionless form, then up at the woman with absolute fury in her eyes and soul.
"Look at what you made me do!" the woman cried out as Mike took a menacing step forward. The side door connecting JC and Chris's rooms opened suddenly and Justin rushed in.
"What the hell?" Justin murmured, taking in the scene before him. The woman looked up at him, startled that he was even there. Justin grabbed the wrist that held the gun, forcing her wrist downward, which made her jump.
"Justin, don't be a friggen hero." Mike stated, her voice deathly calm in the midst of all the tragedy that had just happened. Then gun went off a second time, causing Mike to flinch again, and Justin grunted, a look of pain on his face. The woman gave Justin a hard, unexpected shove and fled from the room.
Mike dropped to the floor beside JC, her anger replaced with a deep soul destroying grief. She pulled JC onto her lap, heedless of the blood that covered the floor and her fiancé. She pressed hard on the bullet wound, trying to staunch the flow of blood, trying to save her heart's life. Why did you have to play the hero, JC? She didn't want to hurt you. She wanted me. She wanted me.
The hotel manager suddenly appeared in the doorway, a look of concern on his face. "An ambulance is on the way."
Mike looked up, startled, trying to get her bearings and regain what little control she had on her frayed emotions. Justin was limping and blood soaked his right leg from where the bullet had entered his thigh.
"Justin, take off your belt and tie it around your leg, right above the gun shot wound. As tight as you can." Mike stated, her voice quavering slightly. Justin nodded, doing as he was told.
"Find something I can press against JC's back to stop the blood flow." she stated to anyone in the room, her eyes riveted to JC's blank and unanimated face. The laughter lines were gone, and a subdued look of pain took their place.
Justin reached over to the phone on the night stand and quickly dialed a phone number. He talked to the person on the other side of the line quickly, then hung up to make another phone call.
The hotel manager rushed into the bathroom and retrieved a couple of clean towels, then handed them to the distraught Michaela. She folded the towel as best she could and pressed it against the bleeding wound in JC's back, her hands and jeans soaked with his blood.
Too much blood. He's losing way too much blood. Oh, God. JC, you're a damn fool. Why did you do that? Why do you always have to play the hero with me? I would have gladly given up my life to save yours. Dammitt, he won't stop bleeding. Stay with me, JC. Just hang on, baby. Help is on the way. Hold on, Josh. Please hold on. You can't leave me yet. We haven't grown old. We haven't had that big family you've always wanted. We haven't done all the things we've dreamed of. You have to hang on, JC. I can't loose you. Not now. Not ever.
Mike looked over at Justin, who grimaced in pain as he sat down on the bed closest to him. A fine sheen of sweat had broken out on his forehead and upper lip.
"How you doing, old man?" she questioned, her eyes filled with concern.
"Fine. I'm fine, kiddo." Justin replied, forcing a tortured smile. "How is he?"
"I don't know, J. I'm not a doctor, but he's lost a lot of blood...." Mike sighed, shaking her head as her voice trailed off.
Don't let go. Don't you even think of letting go. Your place is here, with the guys, with your family. With me. I need you. God, please. I can't bear to face life without him. He means everything to me. Everything.
Mike leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to JC's temple, her heart throbbing painfully in her chest. Suddenly the paramedics rushed in. Mike stood off to the side as they loaded JC onto a stretcher after checking to see how seriously he was injured.
"Take a shower and get changed before you come to the hospital, Mike. And that's an order." Justin told her firmly as the stretcher he was on was wheeled from the hotel room. Mike nodded mutely, as she sat heavily on the bed behind her. She brought a hand to her face and stopped short because of the blood that now covered it. Painful tears filled her eyes and the back of her throat burned like a forest fire, but she refused to cry. People would need her to be strong through this. Maybe tonight, when she was alone, wherever she could be alone, she might let a few tears fall, but until then, she had to remain calm. Strong. Patient. I love you, JC. I need you. Don't leave me.
She sat in an empty examining room, cleaned up and wearing different clothing. Detectives were already at the hospital, trying to get statements from the hotel manager, who had driven to the hospital out of concern for his tenants. They interrogated Mike, asking her to tell them everything that had happened, just the way it happened. What the woman looked like, and what she said. Mike did her best recalling the last hour. An hour. Everything happened in less than an hour. She shook her head to clear her mind, then looked about the empty room. It was too cold, too sterile and it made her heart leap with fear inside her chest. She huddled inside her ragged oversized sweatshirt, waiting for word on JC and Justin. Both had been taken to surgery after being stabilized in the emergency room.
Mike sighed, climbing to her feet and walked out into the hallway. Everyone would be in the waiting room and she didn't want to be alone at the moment. She knew that she would crack under the strain of the silence if she stayed in the examining room. Mike hugged herself as she walked into the waiting room. Joe, Ashley, Chris, Devon, Lance and Rachel all sat in the chairs that were spread throughout the small room, grave looks on their faces. Devon jumped to her feet and rushed over to her younger cousin.
"How you holding up, sweetie?" she questioned, folding her arms around the younger woman in a hug.
"I can't loose him, Dev. It should have been me." Mike whispered resting her head on Devon's shoulder.
"Don't talk like that." Devon scolded gently as she pulled away. Mike turned to the others, who all looked as helpless as she felt. Joe glared down at the floor, shaking his head, while the others gave her sympathetic looks.
"Any word yet?" Lance inquired wearily. Mike shook her head, taking a seat in the corner. They all waited in silence, too worried to talk.
"Maybe we should just spend some time apart. To figure out how we really feel about each other." JC stated softly, refusing to look at her. He knew that he didn't want to do this, but he also didn't want her to deal with having a boyfriend who was constantly gone on tour or in the recording studio. It wasn't fair to her, so he had to do this.
"I know how I feel." Mike sighed, refusing to let herself cry. To let him see the pain in her eyes, on her face. Inside she wanted to scream at him, slap him, something to make him understand that she loved him and didn't want to go through this with him.
"It just isn't working out right now. It will do us both some good." he replied climbing to his feet.
"Maybe you don't think so, but I thought we had something really good going. Or was everything just an act. A charade for your entertainment." Mike raised an eyebrow, her words tougher than she actually felt.
"No! Mike, look....I just think we need some time apart. To figure things out. To see if all this is worth it. That's all I'm saying." JC replied quickly, his heart slowly breaking with each word he spoke.
"We spend enough time apart, JC. And if you don't think this is worth it, then I was obviously mistaken with your feelings for me." she countered, her voice a bit too hoarse for her liking. It signaled that she wanted to cry, that she was coming closer and closer to tears.
"That's not what I said, little bird." JC shook his head, tossing a hand into the air.
"Then, dammitt, Josh, what are you telling me? What's the reason for this whole conversation? The pressure of having a girlfriend against management's wishing getting to you? You meet another girl? What? I don't care what it is, I just want the truth, Josh. After all we've been through, I deserve that much." Mike exclaimed loudly, anger finally rearing it's ugly head.
"I've already told you." JC stated softly, shaking his head with his eyes closed.
"No you haven't. You've given me the easiest answer in the world. 'It just isn't working out right now.' That's a cop out, JC, and you know it. Why isn't it working out? What's changed?" she demanded walking over to stand in front of him. "Look me in the eye and tell me the real reason."
JC sighed and gazed into her eyes for a moment before looking away. "Michaela, I just don't think...." his voice trailed off.
"You just don't think what?" she pressed, touching his cheek softly to make his gaze turn back to her. JC closed his eyes, trying to think of how to say what he really wanted to say without hurting her.
"I just don't think this whole thing is fair to you." he finally replied, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his favorite leather jacket.
"What's not fair to me?" Mike questioned, her face filled with confusion.
"Everything." JC exclaimed with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Define everything." she folded her arms across her chest, waiting patiently for the whole truth to come out.
"Just everything. Me not being able to admit that I have a girlfriend. Me not being able to take you out to all those regular places that couples go, like out to dinner or to the movies or even out dancing. Sneaking kisses between photo shoots, interviews and video filming and sound checks. My constant absence from your life while I'm on tour. Not being able to see me every day like you would with any other guy. It's not fair to you to put up with all that stuff, and I don't think you should have to. So, I'm letting you go. It's the only thing I know how to do so you won't end up hating me." JC sighed, presenting her with his back. Mike shook her head, head hanging slightly, then she grabbed his arm and turned him to face her again.
"First of all, I don't care that you can't admit you have a girlfriend. That's not important to me because I know that even though you can't confess your love to the world, you confess it to me and that's the most important part. We may not go out and do the normal things that most couples do, but I was tired of all that anyway. We do things that most couples only wish they could do. I mean, how many couples can go sight seeing together in South Africa, or Germany, or England or any of the other places I've gone to with you and the guys? Not a whole lot of them. How many guys can sing to their girlfriends late at night when she can't sleep? I haven't dated one yet other than you. I don't mind sneaking kisses behind every corner, it makes those moments all that more special to me because you care enough to sneak around at all. You being on tour all the time may be a bit frustrating, and I'll be the first to admit that, but I know it's what you love to do. It's what makes you happy and if it makes you happy, Josh, that's all I care about. Be damned that I don't get to see you as often as I'd like. I've learned to cope with that. And I could never hate you, Josh, no matter what you do. I can't because I love you and that's all there is to it. But if you need this time to figure out if you think I'm strong enough to handle this relationship, fine. Take all the time you need. I won't stay with you if you doubt me and my feelings. That would be unfair to me." Mike told him, laying everything out on the line. She was half scared he was going to just walk away from her and never look back. JC looked over at her, not quite knowing what to say to her after what she had told him.
"I don't doubt you." he finally whispered. "I just didn't want you to...." he sighed tossing his hands into the air. "I just don't want you to think that I don't have feelings for you anymore, because I do."
"Josh," she started softly. "I know. I can see it in your eyes. The truth is, when you walk into a room, I still get nervous and the butterflies still attack with ferocity. I still get weak in the knees when you touch me, and I positively melt when you kiss me. I worry about you when I don't hear from you. I love that I can relax in your arms and feel safe at the same time. No one else has ever been able to do that. No one else has ever wanted to try before. You taught me that love is a wonderful, precious thing and to take your love away like that would devastate me more than anything." Mike countered turning her back on him.
"Good, because I still feel the damn butterflies, and weak knees and melting. Everything. I just thought you might be happier without me." JC shrugged stepping closer to her, his heart feeling a whole lot lighter.
"Well, you were wrong, like most other times." Mike teased trying to lighten the conversation a little. "If you ever feel that way again, just ask me. Do you still feel butterflies? And I'll know what you mean and I can reassure you."
"I'll remember that." he nodded, wrapping his arms around her, resting his chin lightly on the top of her head. She leaned back against him, letting him support her as she rested her hands on top of his.
"Are we okay now?" Mike questioned, closing her eyes.
"Yeah. We're all right." JC confirmed, dropping a kiss on the nape of her neck.
Mike sighed, resting her head on the cool glass of the window next to her chair. Justin was going to be all right. He wouldn't be able to walk for a while, but he would be all right. Justin had gotten out of surgery earlier that morning and was put into one of the hospital rooms, though none of them could see him yet.
Mike jumped up and started pacing the small waiting room, too nervous and upset to sit still any longer. Devon, Chris and Ashley looked on with concern evident on their faces. Joe and Lance had gone to roam the hospital, too wired to sit anymore. Devon reached out and gripped Chris's hand tightly in her own, wishing she could do something for her younger cousin.
Joe and Lance walked in suddenly, bringing everyone's eyes to them. Joe leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Ashley's forehead before taking the seat next to her. Ashley rested her hand on Joe's and gave it a squeeze. None of them knew what to do, what to say to Mike or anyone else for that matter. It was a possibility that JC might not make it through this, but none of them wanted to voice such a thought, as if saying it would give it more of a chance of happening.
Mike paced slowly, hugging herself to keep the coldness away. The room was almost sweltering, but she was freezing. Her heart contracted painfully when she thought of her life with JC so far. He brought her happiness and a feeling of belonging. She turned anguished eyes to the heavens, daring to bargain with the gods they held.
Mike stumbled down the stairs of her parents house, wondering why it was so quiet. It was the middle of winter and JC had gone home with her to meet her family for the first time. She smiled when she remembered his nervousness in the car when they pulled into the driveway. Her family had taken an instant liking to him, even her four year old brother Cory, who was nearly impossible to win over.
Sage, one of her brothers, sat in the TV room watching a movie while idly flipping through a trade magazine for his college. He looked up with a smile. "Hey."
"Hi twerp, where is everyone?" she returned the smile as she flopped down next to him on the couch.
"Mom and dad are at work; Blake, Matthew, Dallas and Trucker are all at school; Jordan's in his room playing sega or some crap like that; and JC's outside building a snowman with Cory." Sage answered with a laugh. "Anything else you'd like to know?"
"Yeah, what color is my underwear? No, I'm kidding. Thanks." Mike grinned impishly as she headed for the hall closet to get her jacket. She slipped it on then put on her big woolen mittens and headed outside to see how Cory and JC were getting along. Cory sat in the snow watching JC place the head on top of the snowman's body and nodded with a huge smile.
"Can we put the face on yet?" Cory demanded jumping to his little feet.
"Yup, you want to do it?" JC nodded affirmatively. Mike smiled and leaned forward on the porch railing, just watching her two favorite guys in the world.
"You have the carrot and pieces of coal?" JC questioned smiling down at the little boy. Cory nodded holding out his stash.
"All right, lets do this." JC laughed as he picked Cory up so the little boy would have an easier time making the face. Cory punched both pieces of coal into the snowman's head then the carrot for the nose. JC suddenly looked over at her and smiled. She waved at him as she made her way over to them.
"What are you guys going to do for the mouth?" Mike inquired raising an eyebrow.
"I knew we f'got sumpin." Cory exclaimed slapping his forehead as JC set him down on his feet.
"I'll go in and get some more coal." JC laughed and placed a kiss on Mike's cheek before disappearing inside the house. Cory smiled up at his older sister and held out his arm, waiting expectantly for a hug. She smiled and leaned down, picking him in a hug. She propped him on her side and looked over at the snowman.
"You two did a really good job." she exclaimed giving her little brother a squeeze.
"I like JC." Cory suddenly stated out of the blue.
"You do, huh?" Mike smiled turning to look down at him.
"Yeah, he doesn't talk to me like I'm too little for things and he let me help build the snowman. Everyone else says I'm too little, but JC said I wasn't." Cory explained, a huge smile on his face.
"That was nice of him." she agreed with a nod.
"He's even gonna take me sledding if you say it sokay. Can I go sledding wif JC?" Cory inquired, suddenly becoming nervous.
"If JC wants to take you, of course you can go. But first I want you to eat some soup so you can keep that big body of yours warm. Deal?" Mike replied raising an eyebrow.
"Deal!" Cory yelled, bouncing in her arms. The crunching of snow signaled to both of them that JC had returned with the coal.
"You want to make the mouth, Cory?" he questioned.
The little boy shook his head. "No, I made the eyes and nose, you can do the mouf." he told the older man as Mike set him down in the snow. Mike smiled as she watched JC make a smile on the snowman's face then turned to face her.
"Well, how's it look?" he questioned.
"It looks like a master piece. Definitely the best snowman I've ever seen." she nodded firmly with a soft smile, silently telling him with her eyes that she was impressed. Cory grabbed her arm and started tugging on it.
"Soup now?" he questioned loudly and Mike laughed.
"Yeah, soup now. Why don't you go inside and take off your wet snow suit and put it in the bathroom. I'll be right in to fix you some soup." she suggested. Cory nodded jumping around in a circle, clearly excited to be on his way to the hill for some sledding. He then took off at top speed for the house. She smiled shaking her head as she turned to JC.
"You know something?" she questioned slipping her arms around his neck.
"I know a lot of things, but I give. What?" he teased with a smile of his own.
"You're great. I've never seen Cory this happy before. It's was a really good thing that you built that snowman with him." Mike stated softly.
"Ah, it was nothing. I had a ton of fun. That kid is going to be just like you, sarcasticness and everything." he laughed.
"It means a lot to me that you did something like that." Mike looked up at him.
"My pleasure." JC whispered before placing a kiss on her lips. She tightened her arms around his neck as she returned the kiss.
"Oooh! They're playing kissie-face!" Cory shouted loudly from the porch. JC pulled away and erupted into laughter. Mike buried her face in JC's shoulder, giggling as a slight blush turned her face a bright pink.
It was nearing dawn and still no word came about JC. Everyone looked like they were the walking dead from no sleep and the constant worrying they had all been doing. Everyone had taken turns keeping an eye on Michaela, who had distanced herself from everyone, going off into her mind. Sometimes they swore she would finally break down and cry, but she always caught herself and tried to put on a brave face that they could all see through.
Devon climbed to her feet and walked over to her younger cousin. "Why don't you come with me to the cafeteria and get some coffee. You look like you need the caffeine."
Mike looked up, startled, then nodded as she silently climbed to her feet. Chris followed suit, intending to join them. He also needed some coffee in his system to keep him awake for what was going to be a very long day of the hurry up and wait game. The trio walked in silence down the hall to the elevators and hit the down button. A few minutes later, Mike and Chris sat at an empty table in silence while Devon walked over to the coffee urn to pour three cups of the brew. She walked over to them and set the Styrofoam cups down on the table then took a seat in the last empty chair at the table.
"I wish this night would end." she sighed tiredly, rubbing the fatigue from her face. "Maybe you should go back to the hotel and get some sleep, Mike."
"I can't go back there, Dev. I'd go crazy. I can't." Mike shook her head, her voice almost too soft to be heard. She then took a sip of the hot coffee and grimaced at the burned taste it had, but relished the heat it gave her.
"All right, truth be told, you look like hell Mike. And obviously none of us are doing him any good just sitting here. We should all go get some sleep." Devon shook her head, glancing over at Chris. He just shrugged as if to say it didn't matter to him whether they all stayed or went back to the hotel.
"Either way, none of us will get any sleep." he mumbled. Devon sighed rolling her eyes.
"Fine, we'll stay." she exclaimed, her nerves becoming frayed with the night. Mike looked down into her coffee cup as her mind wandered. She had made it through most of the night relatively well, but things were bound to get worse. The pain was almost too intense for her to know how to deal with it most of the time. She loved JC so much and couldn't stand to think what life would be like without his easy smile, his ready humor, his softly vocalized love, just him. He had to pull through this.
Mike smiled when she heard the message on the answering machine in her dorm room. JC had said nothing but, 'six-thirty, tonight, my place, be there.'. It was nearly six-thirty now, so she would have to jet to Justin's mom's house, which she shared with Chris, JC and her son, without changing out of the clothes she had gone to class in. She hopped into her car, and headed over to the house. She parked the car in the driveway then got out and walked inside.
"JC?" she called out loudly.
"In the kitchen!" he called back. She raised an eyebrow as she headed in the direction of the kitchen. She walked into the room and nearly burst out laughing.
"Hon, what are you doing?" she questioned, lips twitching with a smile. JC was wearing an apron and standing at the stove, one hand on a pan.
"Trying to make dinner, but I don't think it's working out too well." he snorted, looking a bit aggravated. She laughed walking over to him and kissed his cheek gently.
"Have you ever cooked anything before?" Mike inquired as she hoisted herself up onto the counter next to the stove.
"Not really, but I've seen it been done a million times." he shook his head and smiled over at her.
"Um, there's a little more to that than just witnessing the act." she teased. Suddenly the pan erupted into flames. Mike jumped down from the counter and grabbed a box of Baking Soda from the refrigerator and poured it into the pan and the surrounding area. JC looked on, eyebrows raised, muttering to himself. She picked up the pan and quickly set it in the sink, then turned to JC and burst out laughing.
"Sure, go ahead and laugh at my inability to do anything useful in the kitchen." JC exclaimed tossing his hands into the air. He took off the apron and tossed it onto a chair.
"Oh honey, it's alright. I've done it a hundred times myself. But if it would make you feel better, I can teach you how to cook some simple things." Mike smiled charmingly at him as she walked over to her boyfriend and his wounded pride.
"No, forget it. Let's just go get take out or something." JC sighed shaking his head. Mike smiled and shrugged her shoulders.
"All right, if that's what you want to do."
"Well, what do you want to do?" he inquired raising an eyebrow. Mike pulled open the refrigerator and took a look at the things that were stored there. There wasn't a whole lot of food, but it was enough to make something simple. She pulled out a couple of eggs and the carton of milk.
"We are going to make pancakes and bacon for dinner. It'll be like we've gone to Denny's and taken it home." she grinned impishly. JC shook his head, clearly not too sure of the whole idea. Mike set each item onto the counter and pulled out some flour and a mixing bowl. She got the other needed ingredients and turned to look at JC.
"Okay, to start off, you need a cup and a half of flour." she told him, folding her arms across her chest. He raised an eyebrow at her as he walked over to where she stood. He took a measuring cup and poured a cup and a half of flour into the mixing bowl. She continued to tell him how much of what ingredient he needed to put in the mixing bowl, then told him to stir everything together, making sure there were no lumps left in the concoction. He did as he was told, albeit reluctantly. Soon, the batter was ready. Mike had poured a slight amount of oil into a warming pan.
"Okay, now, using that small ladle, pour two scoopfuls into the pan." she instructed him. He sighed heavily and did as he was told.
"When bubbles start to form on the top of that sucker, use that spatula to flip it over." she smiled as she, again, hoisted herself up onto the counter. Bubbles started to form, and he flipped the pancake over to cook the other side. Mike waited a few moments before holding a plate out to him.
"Okay, pick that sucker up and set it on the plate." she told him. JC used the spatula again and set the pancake on the plate.
"Congratulations. You just made your first pancake." Mike smiled to him.
"Yeah, I guess I did." JC smiled shaking his head.
"Earth to Mike....come in Mike." Chris waved a hand in front of her face, startling her back to the reality of life.
"Sorry, I was just remembering something. What did you say?" Mike questioned distractedly.
"I just said that we should go back up to the waiting room to see if the others have heard anything." Chris stated again as Devon disposed of the Styrofoam cups. Mike nodded silently and climbed to her feet. Suddenly Chris pulled her into a tight hug, wordlessly giving her the support he thought she might need. She hugged him back, just as tightly, wishing that he could squeeze the pain from her heart, soul and mind.
"Thanks, Chris." she smiled weakly as he pulled away. Chris nodded, returning the pained smile, saying nothing. The three of them made their way back to the waiting room, only to find that no one had heard anything. Joe was now pacing, his arms folded across his chest. He glared over at Mike when she entered the room. She raised an eyebrow at him, but he turned his back on her and pointedly looked out the window. Mike shook her head as she sat down, and rested her head in her hands, tiredly closing her eyes.
"Mike, why don't you lay down and sleep for a bit. We'll wake you when a doctor comes to tell us something." Rachel suggested from her chair across the room. Mike nodded, too tired to argue anymore, as she sprawled out on an empty couch and closed her eyes. She soon fell into an exhausted sleep.
"I wonder what's taking so long." Lance sighed glancing down at his watch. It was nearly six a.m. and they still hadn't heard anything. Mike had been passed out for almost an hour now, and everyone was thankful that she had closed her eyes for a while. Rachel also slept, using his leg as a pillow, and he glanced down at her for a moment. She looked like the angel they all needed. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts, and rubbed his face tiredly.
"He should have gotten outta surgery hours ago." Joe agreed, still pacing the room. Ashley had given up on trying to get him to sit and try to rest for a while. She had fallen asleep and was now resting her head on one of Chris's shoulders. Devon was also asleep and was resting her head on Chris's leg. He absently stroked Devon's head, trying to sooth her, even in sleep. Joe walked over to the front desk to inquire about JC, and was told that there had been another emergency surgery the surgeon had to perform but could tell him that JC was out of surgery and the doctor would be down shortly to let them know what was going on. Joe nodded and returned to the waiting room and told all those who where awake the information he had acquired.
They all sighed, thinking that this is what hell was like. Suddenly Mike sat bolt upright, almost screaming in terror. Everyone turned to look at her. She jumped up and rushed out of the room. She bolted outside, trying to take deep breaths of fresh air to keep from crying. She choked on a broken sob and raised a hand to her face, hot tears filling her eyes. She leaned a hand against the wall to balance herself as the tears slipped down her checks.
Chris gently disentangled himself from his sleeping girlfriend and friend and turned to follow Mike outside. She had looked so terrified that his heart had immediately gone out to her and he wanted to make sure that she was doing as well as she could be doing in a situation like this.
"Why are you following her?" Joe demanded harshly, tossing a glare to his older friend.
"Because, she needs a friend at the moment, Joe. She needs all the support she can get." Chris replied with a sigh.
"Yeah, well, if you ask me, she deserves to be alone. Look what happened to JC when he didn't leave her alone." Joe spat out angrily.
"Because of this whole situation and everyone's frayed emotions, I'll forget you said that once. But if you say that or anything remotely like that again, I will personally beat you bloody." Chris retorted just as angrily then turned on his heel and left. He rushed outside and saw Mike leaning on the wall with one hand, her other hand covering her face as sobs wracked her shoulders.
"Mike...." he started as he laid a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't." she exclaimed, jerking away. "God, Chris, just don't. It's my fault. My God, I've probably killed him. It's all my fault." she shook her head, turning to face him. He sucked in a quick breath as he took in her bloodshot eyes, and her anguished features.
"You did no such thing. You didn't make that girl pull the trigger. You've done nothing." Chris countered shaking his head.
"I've done nothing?" she exclaimed with sarcasticness. "I beg to differ. She would have shot me, but he couldn't let that happen. He had to alter the future. It's my fault. If he had never started a relationship with me, he wouldn't be here right now."
"Yeah, and he would be totally miserable. He loves you. Being with you made being away from his home easier. He could talk to you about anything and he did. You eased the pain of loneliness." Chris admonished loudly.
"Shut up, Chris. Just shut up!" Mike practically screamed. She turned on her heel and started to rush away. Chris acted with a speed that astonished even himself. He wrapped his arms around Michaela from behind and hugged her tightly so she couldn't run away from him and go through this part alone. Mike fought him for a moment, then sagged heavily against him, head hanging forward as loud sobs finally escaped her. Chris leaned back against the brick wall behind him and slowly sat down, keeping Mike in his arms. He didn't know what to do to comfort her, so he just held her while she cried. He knew this was excruciating for her to go through, and he could sympathize. Most of them were going through a grief of some sort. Chris closed his eyes, tears burning the back of his eyes. Mike felt so damn passionately for everything, this had to be killing her inside.
Devon stepped outside to see what was going on, but stopped short when she saw Chris holding Mike in a backwards hug while she hung her head and cried. Devon swiped at tears that suddenly filled her eyes at the scene and turned to go back inside, leaving Chris to comfort his friend.
Chris shifted Mike, and turned her so he was cradling her, her head resting on his shoulder. He held her tightly in his arms as her tears soaked his shirt, and rocked her back and forth. Chris gazed up at the heavens, sending up a silent prayer for good news for JC.
Mike didn't know how long she had been crying, the only things she knew was that Chris's arms had become a protective haven for her and she had a throbbing headache that threatened to shatter her skull soon. The tears had finally stopped, and now Chris just simply held her. No words of condolence were offered, and none were wanted. She sighed and pulled away and glanced around then turned to look at Chris.
"Thank you." she said, her voice almost nothing because of all the crying she had done. Chris nodded, a sad smile on his face as he touched her flushed cheek.
"Why don't we go inside? Go clean up and get some more coffee." he suggested. Mike nodded and climbed to her feet. The two walked back inside, Chris's arms draped along her shoulders and Mike's arm wrapped around his waist. Joe took one look at Mike and his jaw nearly hit the floor. She looked as if she had been through a war and come out of it without her soul. He immediately regretted the words he had spoken to Chris an hour earlier. Mike made her way to the bathroom, Devon following close behind to see if she was all right.
"You feeling a little better now?" she questioned as Mike splashed cold water on her face. Her younger cousin nodded with a sigh and grabbed a paper towel to dry her face.
"I'm sorry I flipped like that." Mike replied glancing at Devon's reflection in the mirror.
Don't worry about it." she shook her head. The two headed back to the waiting room and found a doctor waiting to talk to Mike.
"Good morning, I'm doctor Carter. I performed the operation on Mr. Chasez. You're his fiancé, right?" the young man questioned, looking over at Mike. She nodded, grabbing her cousin's hand tightly in her own. Devon squeezed her hand, giving her silent support.
"Surgery went well, but I have to admit, it's all up to him if he makes it through this. If he's a fighter, he'll pull through." Dr. Carter stated glancing down at the clipboard he held. "He'll need to go through intensive physical therapy, because the nerves to his legs were damaged. There is a small chance that he may never walk again, but it's still too soon to tell. You can go up and see him if you'd like, but only for a few minutes."
"Thank you." Mike nodded, glancing over at everyone. They all looked partially relieved by the news, but also a bit worried by the revelation of JC having problems with his legs.
"He's up in ICU, fifth floor. The nurse up there will direct you where to go. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask." Dr. Carter told her. Mike nodded and sighed heavily. The doctor walked over to the admissions desk to talk to the nurse there.
"Give JC our love." Devon told Mike, and gave her a gentle shove toward the elevators.
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