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"From another room? You and your crew have this whole floor 'rented' out. What other room? Besides, you looked to make sure no one was around because you thought it was a prank Chris had pulled or something." Jasper waved a hand in the air dismissively. Lance flushed, a slow blush creeping up his cheeks.
"All right, already. Why don't you tell us what we need to change so we can get back to sleep." Joe suggested.
"That's where we run into the problem." Quinn sighed, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips.
"Problem?" five male voices demanded incredulously.
"We can't tell you because we don't know." Quinn continued.
"I know." Jasper smirked, folding her arms across her chest.
"You do not. You only know JC's. So stop acting like you have all the answers." Quinn snorted, tossing her friend a teasing look.
"You know the reason why I'm not happy?" JC inquired, sounding slightly dazed.
"Are you kidding? Everyone knows why you're not happy." Justin shrugged a shoulder, tossing JC a knowing look.
"We have one word for you, Jace. Three syllables even. Re-bec-ca." Joe yawned hugely, covering his mouth with the back of his hand.
"I'm happy with her, guys." JC countered weakly, shaking his head.
"Yeah, real happy all right. You just can't wait to get home every chance you get, can you?" Justin retorted, flopping onto his back so he could gaze up at the ceiling.
"So I don't go home as often as I used to. That's doesn't mean I'm not happy with Rebecca." JC shrugged a shoulder, folding his arms across his chest.
"Jace, when the two of you started dating and we had more than one day off in a row, you would fly to Orlando just to see her. You haven't done that in months." Joe pointed out seriously.
"I don't want to waste my money. There are some other things I need to start thinking about." JC mumbled, raking a hand through his hair.
"Like what?" Chris looked interested.
"Like bills, college tuition for my brother. Not to mention anything else that could pop up. Plus mom and dad would like to remodel the house and that costs money." JC listed off, shoulders slumping slightly.
"Not to mention a brand new, cherry red Viper." Lance rolled his eyes.
"So I wanted a luxury sports car. There's nothing wrong with that. If there is, y'all should check Justin out first. He owns two of them." JC shrugged a shoulder, a note of resentment threading through his voice. Jasper and Quinn stood back, mouths slightly open as they watched the conversation happening around them as if they weren't a part of the room.
"Jace, just face it. The girl is bad news. She constantly has you tied up in knots, constantly trying to pick a fight with you, yet you put up with it. Why? Do you honestly think it's love that keeps her around? She's hanging onto you for the possibility of increased popularity. Everyone knows the two of you are dating, and she's exploiting it." Lance pointed out logically.
"She's not." JC shook his head stubbornly.
"She didn't have an advice column for a national teen magazine until people realized you two were getting serious with one another. She wasn't approached about possibly having her own teen talk show until you two were seen together at every awards ceremony for the past four months. Jace, she's using you to further her own misguided career, and you're so into her that you don't even see it." Chris sighed, rubbing his forehead with his fingertips as a slow ache began to form behind his eyes from lack of sleep.
"Guys, trust me on this one. She's not using me." JC negated, shaking his head firmly, refusing to actually hear what his friends were saying. "And I wouldn't go pointing any fingers in my direction when y'all have your own female problems. I know for a fact, Justin, that you only dated Miss Spears for a total of two weeks because everyone thought you two would be a cute couple. And you, Joe, you flirt with every woman you meet because that's the persona you got stuck with through the media. So don't talk to me about doing things for media's sake."
"Jace, calm down. We're just worried about you. None of us wants to see you get the shaft in this." Chris held up his hands as if to ward off a physical blow.
"Don't worry about me, Chris. I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself." JC assured the room, closing his eyes.
"Well, looks as if they don't need us." Jasper murmured, giving her friend a sideways glance.
"They need us more than they think. Besides, a little divine intervention never hurt anyone." Quinn smiled, shrugging a shoulder as she gave her friend a pointed stare.
"What?" Jasper inquired, nervously.
"Can we maybe get rid of the wings?" Quinn cleared her throat, arching an eyebrow.
"Oh, right. I almost forgot." Jasper laughed softly, snapping her fingers. The wings, halos, white robes and sandals disappeared as quickly as they had appeared, leaving behind jeans, t-shirts and sneakers.
"Thank you." Quinn smiled.
"Welcome." Jasper nodded, returning the smile.
"All of this arguing over my girlfriend has been fun and all, but I get enough of this on the phone with her. Can we please change the subject?" JC demanded as he surged to his feet to pace the room slowly.
"Yes, back to the matter at hand." Lance clapped his hands together, turning his gaze over to the two angels resting back against the wall across the room from them.
"Yes. Why are you here, other than to tell us we suck at running our own lives?" Chris agreed, turning to face the angels.
"I hate being put on the spot like this." Jasper heaved a dramatic sigh, folding her arms across her chest.
"Like I stated earlier, we don't know the reason why we're here. We just know we were sent here to help you in some way. Whether it's help with your severely lacking love lives, or a spiritual crisis, whatever it is you have, we have to figure it out and help accordingly." Quinn took the analytical view, explaining what she knew for sure, and what she guessed.
"You know what? I think we made our appearance way too soon. We should have watched them longer to figure this out. To have them know about us when we still have a long way to go will only make things harder." Jasper worried her lower lip between her teeth.
"It's too late now for second thoughts, Jasper." Quinn sighed, turning to her friend.
"You've been watching us?" Joe stuttered loudly.
"It's not like we made an appointment to view your shower time, but yes, we've been watching you." Jasper snapped, tossing a pointed glare at the young man, effectively silencing him.
"I'm never getting undressed again." Justin muttered ruefully, shaking his head as the hilarity of the situation and lack of sleep made him chuckle softly.
"You say that now, but we all know you'll give them a show before this whole thing is over with." Joe snorted loudly. The two angels ignored them.
"We could leave now, give them the impression that this was just a dream that went seriously wrong." Jasper pleaded softly with Quinn, turning her back to the young men.
"Then we'd have to backtrack." Quinn shook her head.
"No we wouldn't. We need more time to gather information before we start trying to help them. You know it." Jasper shook her head firmly.
"All right. We'll do things your way." Quinn nodded in assent, glancing over her friend's shoulder to the five men gazing at them, waiting expectantly for them to continue their explanation.
"I hope you're right, Jasper." Quinn mumbled softly, closing her eyes and snapping her fingers.
"I am right." Jasper countered softly, everything around them fading quickly.
Chris yawned, stumbling into the hallway, raking a hand through his hair as he reached blindly for the sunglasses resting in the front pocket of the vest he wore. His eyes burned, the headache that had begun the night before had only worsened throughout the last few hours, and he had a general feeling of laziness. He would have acted upon the unusual lack of energy and crawled back into bed if there hadn't been a million things he and the rest of the group needed to accomplish before the concert that night. I need a vacation. He shook his head, slipping his sunglasses over his eyes as doors up and down the hall opened, emitting various members of the group and their entourage. Chris waved a limp hand in their direction, heading toward the elevator so he could go down to the hotel restaurant to grab some breakfast.
"Morning Chris." Justin grumbled, falling into step beside the older man.
"Morning, J." Chris nodded, pushing the elevator call button before folding his arms across his chest.
"How'd you sleep?" Justin inquired as JC joined them, stumbling slightly before righting himself with a wry smile.
"I slept?" Chris snorted incredulously.
"Insomnia?" Justin made a sympathetic face.
"No, just strange dreams." Chris shook his head with a shrug of his shoulder.
"Same here. I had the strangest dream last night." Justin laughed as the elevator door slid open. Chris, Justin and JC stepped inside, pressing the button for the lobby and moments later, the door slid closed once again.
"Couldn't have been weirder than mine." Chris tossed a sideways glance to Justin.
"I bet you it could have." Justin retorted, leaning back against the wall as a yawn attacked him.
"Come to think of it, I also had a really odd dream." JC mused thoughtfully, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand.
"I dreamt about angels. Two of them. Both female and both trouble makers." Chris stated matter-of-factly, smirking at his friends, silently daring them to top him.
"No way." Justin's eyes widened slightly.
"This is too weird." JC laughed, shaking his head.
"Were their names Quinn and Jasper?" Justin glanced over at Chris, who pulled his sunglasses down to the tip of his nose.
"How'd you know?" Chris demanded.
"And they took us to a crowded mall in California where they threatened to make us visible, or disembodied heads." JC nodded, grimacing as the rest of the dream lingered in his mind.
"We've been spending entirely too much time together." Justin grimaced with a laugh.
"I second that. Especially if we're having the same dreams." JC concurred, folding his arms across his chest. Chris groaned loudly just after he finished a huge yawn.
"Consciousness, that annoying thing between naps." Chris muttered under his breath as the elevator door slid open once it reached the lobby.
"Morning Lonnie." Justin grinned at the baby-faced brick wall of a man who stood in the lobby waiting for them. Lonnie nodded silently, arms folded across his chest as Gus and Mike, two other bodyguards stepped from the second elevator.
"Oh, look, it's a party and it's only seven-thirty." Chris snorted, glancing down at his watch with bleary, burning eyes. The three bodyguards followed JC, Chris and Justin to the hotel restaurant, sitting in the booth beside them as they gazed at their menus.
"Where are Joe and Lance?" JC inquired, glancing impatiently at his watch. The group had a radio interview for the local radio station right after breakfast and before they hit the open road to get to the next venue on their 'No Strings Attached Tour'. It was going to be a long, tedious and boring day on the bus that none of them were looking forward to.
"Joe decided to forego breakfast so he could sleep in, and Lance is still in the shower." Justin mumbled through a yawn.
JC sighed in relief as he toppled back onto the couch, a towel draped along his shoulders. The concert had ended no more than twenty minutes earlier and they were already on the road, heading to the next city. JC reached for his duffle bag and pulled out his cellular phone, flipping through the caller ID box to see who had called in the last few hours. Rebecca. Tyler. Mom. Tony. Rebecca. Rebecca. Rebecca. He heaved a silent sigh, punching in his girlfriend's phone number and hit then send button. The phone rang three times before someone answered.
"Hello?"
"It's me."
"Hi, you."
"What's up?"
"Nothing."
"You called me quite a few times."
"Just wanted to see what you were doing."
"You know what I was doing, Becca."
"So, maybe I wanted to talk to you."
"You have me on the phone now."
"But, I have company."
"I see."
"Don't be mad, Jace."
"Who says I'm mad?"
"You sure sound it."
"I'm not, so don't worry about it."
"Whatever. Why you always get so angry with me for stupid things, I'll never know."
"This isn't stupid, Rebecca. This is life. And I'm thinking we should take a break from one another for a while. See what it is we want from each other before we talk about things again."
"Oh my god. You're breaking up with me?"
"Not breaking up. Just taking a step back for a while."
"You've met someone else, haven't you?"
"No, I didn't meet anyone. I'm not seeing anyone else, nor have I thought about seeing anyone else. What I have been thinking about is why I'm with you. And I've come to the conclusion that either you and I aren't meant to be together, or we're just too different to make things work."
"Things work well between us."
"Do they?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means, you are far more superficial than I am."
"I can't believe you. Throwing names at me like this. Have you forgotten who I am? What I can do to you?"
"Idle threats are empty threats, Rebecca. You and I both know you wouldn't do a damn thing."
"Watch me."
"Isn't fun having someone pick a fight with you, is it?"
"What are you talking about?"
"This is what you do to me every time we talk these days. I'm tired of it, Rebecca."
"I don't pick fights with you."
"Yes, you do."
"Asshole."
"Whatever." JC sighed, pulling the phone from his ear and hitting the end button. He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, a headache beginning to throb between his temples. He blindly reached for his duffle again, this time in search for pain medication, something that would take care the headache.
Jasper sat on the couch opposite JC, shaking her head slowly as she watched him silently debate with himself over the phone call he'd just made to his girlfriend. She hadn't thought he would have the nerve to do what he had just done, but she knew it was only the first step for him on an extremely long and extremely curved road ahead of him. A slow smile curved her lips as a Shakespearean sonnet came to mind.
"My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red that her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow from her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks, treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she believed with false compare." Jasper spoke the sonnet in a soft, husky voice, her eyes closing as she savored the words, pulling them close to her heart.
"And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare/as any she believed with false compare." JC sighed, closing his eyes as he raked a hand through his hair.
Jasper's eyes snapped open upon hearing him repeat the last two lines of the sonnet, wondering if he had actually heard her.
"Get a grip, Josh. You're just giving back what she puts in." JC muttered to himself through gritted teeth.
Chris lay on his back in the bunk he had claimed for himself for the night, arms folded behind his head as he stared at the bottom of the bunk above him, lost in thought. The tour had begun to weigh heavily on his chest and in his life; and though he would refuse to admit it, he was beginning to have some serious doubts about being part of the group. It wasn't that he didn't love what he did with all his heart, he just was starting to have the feeling there should be something more to life than what he was experiencing now. He never remained in one place long enough to find the right woman, and if he wanted to be totally honest with himself, he was getting to the age where he was ready to settle down. Get married and have some kids of his own, instead of just performing for them. Dani fluttered through his mind, causing his lips to twitch in a begrudging smile. She was the closest thing he had to a girlfriend, knowing her for more than ten years now. She was the most infuriating woman he knew, but that had been the first thing that had drawn him to her. She had a fiery temper, a witty sense of humor and a heart the size of the universe. In short, she was a wonderful woman. He didn't know why she had remained single for so long. Any sane man would have snatched her up by now. He grimaced, closing his eyes. What's your excuse, Chris? Before he could get into an argument with himself, he reached for his cellular phone and dialed her number quickly, letting it ring until someone answered.
"This better be good for two in the morning." her sleep-husked voice brought a smile to his face.
"I don't know if it's good for two in the morning, but, I just wanted to hear your voice. The other voices in my head are getting much to loud to be comfortable." Chris mumbled softly into the phone, shifting until he lay on his side with his back to the curtain.
"Hi, you." her voice instantly warmed, sending chills racing down his spine.
"I'm sorry I woke you."
"Don't be. A pleasant way to wake up in the middle of the night. How was the concert?"
"Pretty good. I almost fell right off the stage tonight."
"That's not good. How are you feeling? You don't sound like yourself."
"The voices in my head are getting to me."
"I didn't know you were schizophrenic."
"I'm not. It's just been a rough couple of months. I'm beginning to wonder why I do this anymore. I mean, I'm not getting any younger. At my age, I should, by all rights, be married with a family by now. And here I am, traveling around the world, acting like a big kid most of the time."
"Chris, you're living your dream."
"I know I am. I just…think there should be something more in my life. Music is wonderful, but it doesn't keep me warm at night."
"What are you going to do about it?"
"What?"
"Are you going to whine about this to me, or are you going to do something about it? You're only alone by your own choice, no one's forcing you to stay alone."
"Jeez. You really know how to give sympathy, you know that, right?"
"Chris, if you wanted sympathy, you would have called someone else, right?"
"True. Tell me something, Dani. Why did we never go out?"
"You never asked. Besides, it never would have worked out, and we both know that. With you being gone all the time, constantly on the road with concerts and promotional things. If we were together, we'd be miserable."
"Are you that sure?"
"I have to be. I've never hid the fact I was attracted to you, Chris. Most of your female friends are. You just give this caring, supporting aura out into the atmosphere, and it makes people instantly let their guards down. But I also know, to hold you is impossible. So why cause all that pain for nothing?"
"You've given up before anything's been given a chance?"
"It's the only way I can stay sane."
"What would happen if I asked you out?"
"I'd say no. It would ruin our friendship, Chris. We both know that. I can tolerate just about anything, but if I lost your friendship, it would hurt more in the long run than anything else."
"You'd never lose me as a friend."
"You say that now, but if things were to end badly with us through a relationship, our friendship would disappear with that."
"Again, are you that sure? Do you think my affection for you is that weak?"
"No, it's not that. Chris, what's bringing this whole thing on?"
"I just want something more than my house waiting for me when I come home. I want to know I have more going for me than this music gig."
"You do have more going for you than music. You have the clothing line, you have your family and friends. Just because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean any of this isn't worthwhile."
"In my head, I know that. But it's getting increasingly difficult to convince my heart and soul of that very same fact."
"Why don't you get some sleep, Chris? You sound exhausted, and this really isn't helping your crusade to find a woman."
"It's not a crusade, Dani. Just…loneliness."
"You can't possibly be lonely. You have the guys with you. You have thousands of adoring fans screaming for you. You have an entourage to take care of your safety."
"I'll let you in on a little secret, Dani. Just because I'm surrounded with people twenty hours out of the day doesn't mean I'm not lonely." Chris mumbled through a sigh, pushing the end button on his cell phone to end the conversation. His heart twisted slightly in his chest when her rebuttal whispered through his mind. Then his heart stalled when her admission chased right after it. She was attracted to him. She had admitted as much, had said the exact words to him. But it didn't make him feel any better. If anything, it made things more confusing by a long shot. He rubbed a hand over his face, blinking hard. His eyes burned. His body ached.
"I'm getting way too old for this crap." he mumbled to himself, folding his arms across his chest as he closed his eyes, praying sleep would claim him soon so he wouldn't have to deal with the arguing of his heart and mind.
Justin yawned hugely, stretching as he watched a movie in the front lounge of the tour bus, his mind and body still way too wired to hit his bunk yet. The movie was one he knew by heart, one he could recite on request. He chuckled softly to himself, shaking his head slowly. Sometimes he wondered about himself. He lifted his feet, propping them up on the chair opposite him as he folded his arms across his chest, gazing unseeingly at the television screen. Lately, he had begun to worry where his life was going. The shelf life of 'boy bands' usually didn't last as long as the group's run had. Yet, they were still going strong, and had the core audience to keep going for a few more years, which shocked and amazed him to no end. He was living the life he had dreamed of since he was a child, but he felt as if he missed out on something. He knew he missed out on being a normal kid, someone who went to a regular high school, went to prom, had a ton of friends, played on the basketball team. He blinked, reaching for the remote control, thankful that Joe had already sacked out in his bunk for the night so he wouldn't have to fight for control of the object. He stopped the movie and began surfing through the channels.
Sometimes he wondered what life would have been like if he hadn't received a spot on the Mickey Mouse Club. Would he be the same person he was today? Or, would he be totally different and in medical school or something of the like. He shook his head, a rueful smile curving the corners of his lips upward. He yawned again, settling on MTV for a few minutes.
"What are you doing up?" JC inquired from the doorway, lines of fatigue etched into his face.
"Adrenaline. It's a bitch sometimes." Justin commented ruefully with a shrug of his shoulder.
"I hear that." JC mused in agreement, pulling open the door of the mini refrigerator in search for something to drink.
"Jace?" Justin's feet dropped to the floor as he sat up. "You ever wonder where you'd be if none of this ever happened?"
"What do you mean?" JC lifted an eyebrow, opening a can of Mountain Dew as he leaned back against the counter.
"If you never auditioned for the Mouse Club." Justin elaborated slightly, gesturing with a hand.
"Sure. You can't help but wonder about those things." JC nodded, taking a sip from the can. Justin nodded silently, eyes returning to the screen.
"Why do you ask?" JC prompted the younger man, wandering over to drop into a chair.
"I've been thinking about it a lot lately. All I missed growing up because of what I was doing at the time." Justin mumbled, shrugging. "Growing up in the spotlight was kind of hard. Everything I did was publicized to the point of no return. Back then, it didn't matter to me. I was having too much fun. We had the run of Disney World, we all could do really cool things, so it never bothered me. But, recently, I've noticed what I missed."
"J, we all missed out on a lot of things. Some more than others. We've all had to make gigantic sacrifices because this is what we wanted. It may not be the easiest lifestyle, but you know you wouldn't be happy unless you were doing this with your life." JC pointed out softly, setting the can of soda onto the table beside him.
"I know." Justin groaned, rubbing bleary eyes, sighing heavily. "I just wish I could have experienced a normal life for a while."
"I know, man. Get some sleep, huh? We have a busy day tomorrow." JC climbed to his feet with a groan, rubbing viciously at his lower back as his muscles screamed out in pain.
"Yeah, I know." Justin rolled his eyes, lips twitching with fatigued amusement. Justin pressed his fingers to his temples, leaning back in his chair once again. After a moment, he lurched to his feet, turning off the television before making his way to his bunk. He sprawled out on the thin mattress, pulling the curtain closed, his eyes fluttering shut as sleep claimed him quickly.
Lance locked himself into this small bathroom on the bus to just get away from everyone for a while. It's pretty sad when spending time in the bathroom is one of the things you consider alone time. He rolled his eyes at his reflection, reaching for his toothbrush and toothpaste. Everything had become hectic and things weren't going to slow down again until the middle of September. He loved his career, he just also loved being home to spend time with family and friends. He shook his head ruefully. His mother had called earlier that evening and told him about a young woman she had seen perform in one of the numerous clubs. He shook his head, laughing softly. Apparently his mother had approached the young woman and asked he is she was looking for a manager. Upon receiving the question, the young woman promptly told her no, she didn't want to go into the music business. His mother had also told him this very same young woman was lying through her teeth, that she could tell the singer loved performing. He raked a hand through his hair and shoved the toothpaste-covered toothbrush into his mouth and began scrubbing his teeth.
A knock sounded at the door, startling him enough to make him jump slightly.
"Wha?" Lance inquired loudly over the foam and bubbles filling his mouth.
"You almost done in there?" Joe inquired sleepily.
"Yef. Juft brufing my teef." Lance rolled his eyes, continuing to run the toothbrush back and forth.
"Try that again in English." Joe requested. Lance groaned, spitting out the toothpaste.
"I said, yes. I'm just brushing my teeth." Lance called out again before gargling with some water to rinse away the rest of the toothpaste.
"Oh, right. Why didn't I think of that?" Joe's voice dripped with tired sarcasm as Lance pulled open the door.
"Night Joe." Lance beamed his freshly cleaned smile at the yawning man as he made his way down the hallway toward the bunk area.
Quinn sat in silence, mentally reviewing everything that had happened throughout their first day watching the group of young men they were to help. She worried her lower lip with her teeth, settling back into the couch cushions. They would have to make themselves visible to them at some point and time. Trying to help someone if you remained invisible was one of the hardest things to do, especially when most humans' minds couldn't comprehend the things they couldn't see. She glanced up when Jasper wandered into the room, arms folded across her chest.
"Anything new?" Quinn inquired, lifting an eyebrow.
"JC picked a fight with Rebecca; Chris is feeling too old to be a part of this group and is starting to have feelings for one of his closest friends, Dani; Justin is beginning to resent the fact he never had a normal childhood. Other than that, I haven't been able to figure out what's going on with Lance or Joe." Jasper shrugged a shoulder, flopping down onto the couch beside her friend.
"This gives us a lot to work with." Quinn grumbled, becoming thoroughly frustrated with the entire situation.
"It's only been one day, Quinn. Don't worry, we'll get this one right." Jasper reached over and squeezed her hand.
"I sure hope so." Quinn mumbled softly, closing her eyes.
"You're thinking about your past, aren't you?" Jasper questioned knowingly.
"Hard not to when you're on this part of the universe." Quinn mused thoughtfully.
"You want to talk about it?" Jasper pressed.
"Not right now. How about you? You've been acting strangely yourself." Quinn lifted an eyebrow, turning slightly to face her friend.
"Memories are a tricky thing. Just when you think you're over your life, memories come out to bite you in the butt and bring everything back. And it still feels as if it happened yesterday." Jasper murmured, gazing out the window at the landscape whirring by.
"You want to talk about it?" Quinn offered softly.
"We promised each other we wouldn't bring up our past life." Jasper pointed out weakly.
"Maybe by suppressing our feelings about our past, it's what's making this harder for us. I mean, what if talking about it helps cure things?" Quinn gestured helplessly.
"I was married." Jasper took a deep breath, climbing to her feet.
"What?!" Quinn's eyes widened.
"I was married. His name was Gabriel and I had loved him for years. One night he decided he was going to join the war…,"
Jasper sat in stunned silence as she gazed from father to son, panic slowly beginning to well up in her throat, making it difficult to breathe. She held a hand to her heart, closing her eyes, silently commanding herself to remain calm. Panic from her wouldn't make the situation any less difficult to handle. After a moment of complete silence from both Gabriel and his father, Jasper opened her eyes.
"You can't stop me, father." Gabriel turned his defiant gaze to the eldest man in the room.
"You have no conception under God of what you are doing." Matthew hissed, slamming his fist down on the dining room table. Jasper flinched, her heart sinking in her chest. Only his father could talk Gabriel out of joining the war, and though both were stubborn, Gabriel was winning the argument.
"Don't I? You'd rather the oppression keep happening?" Gabriel demanded incredulously.
"No! Of course not! But, you've forgotten, son, I've lived through war. I know what it does to a man." Matthew shook his head vehemently, jabbing a finger into the air.
"I'm going." Gabriel stated with such finality, it brooked no more argument.
"You would leave your family, those who need you the most?" Matthew's voice dropped in defeat, knowing he wouldn't be able to talk his oldest son from joining the war.
"My country also needs me, father. In order to be free, we need to separate ourselves from England and it's laws. They hold no order here." Gabriel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Matthew sighed, turning his back to his son.
"Do what you must." Matthew murmured, shoulders sagging slightly. Jasper climbed to her feet, knees weak as she walked stiffly from the room. She forced a smile when five year old Samantha wrapped her little arms around her legs.
"What are you doing out of bed, Sammy-girl?" Jasper inquired, picking the chubby little girl up into her arms.
"Why are daddy and Gabriel fighting?" Samantha whispered loudly, sticking a finger into her mouth after asking the question and waited silently for the answer.
"I suppose because your daddy doesn't want Gabriel to go away." Jasper answered truthfully, wanting to keep the knowledge of Gabriel leaving them all for the war from the little girl.
"Why does Gabriel want to go away?" Samantha interjected, interrupting the train of Jasper's thought as the older of the two girls began climbing the stairs.
"I'm not really sure, Samantha." a faint note of worry entered Jasper's voice. She shook her head, setting the little girl on her feet.
"Go back to bed, sweetheart. Things will be alright in the morning." Jasper whispered the promise, nudging Samantha back over to her bed.
"Night Jasper." Samantha whispered loudly as she climbed back into her bed.
"Good night, Samantha." Jasper whispered back, closing the door. The hallway was silent, something Jasper couldn't tolerate when so many thoughts were coursing through her mind. When one ended, another immediately began. Years ago, when her parents had died of fever, Matthew had taken her in. In return for his kindness, she cared for his children, all eight of them. She had also inadvertently fallen in love with Gabriel. She shook her head, picking up the lamp resting on a table near the stairs and quietly made her way to the first floor once again, needed the coolness of the night and the reassuring twinkle of the stars. On silent feet, she walked quickly to the front door. Within moments, she was out on the front porch, standing on the steps. For endless moments, she gazed up at the stars in awe, wondering which star carried which wish from children all over the continent. She jumped when a warm shall was draped over her shoulders.
"Please understand, Jazz, I have to go." Gabriel's soft voice pleaded from behind her. She nodded, unable to speak around the lump forming quickly in her throat. Gabriel's hands rested atop her shoulders as he took a step closer to her back, his warmth enveloping her.
"Will you say goodbye to me? Or will I have to leave tonight without the grace and charm of your smile?" Gabriel inquired, a note of wry amusement and teasing threading his voice.
"Flattery. You always think flattery will get you anything you want from me. It isn't that simple this time, Gabriel." Jasper shook her head slowly, as sad smile turning the corners of her lips upward.
"This is something I have to do, Jasper." he sighed, lips brushing a kiss to the crown of her head.
"I know." she nodded once again, voice slightly hoarse. Gabriel gently urged her around to face him, lifting his hand to cup her cheek, thumb sweeping across the delicate bone of her jaw.
"I will come back." he murmured softly.
"Outlandish overtures and promises. You can't say you'll come back. You don't know if you will or not. That's the funny thing about war. Men who promise their families they'll come back--," her words stopped when he gently placed a fingertip to her lips.
"For once, Jasper, I could do without the tongue lashing." he admitted readily, eyes glimmering with mirth. She flushed, her gaze dropping to the buttons marching up and down his shirt. Jasper's heart lurched painfully in her chest, squeezing the breath from her lungs. She closed her eyes against the burning onslaught on tears, swallowing past the thick lump in her throat.
"Jasper," Gabriel murmured, his warm breath stirring the fine hair at her temple.
"Don't," she whispered brokenly, shaking her head. "Just say goodbye and leave. Don't prolong the inevitable. It will only hurt more in the long run."
"Why is it when my father practically begs me to stay, it heightens my desire to leave. Yet, when you tell me to leave, my desire only lies in staying here with you." he mused, a slow smile curving his lips. Jasper closed her eyes tightly, a small wounded sound escaping her numb lips.
"I'll come back." he assured her quickly, his free hand lifting to cup her other cheek.
"Don't make foolish promises, Gabriel. Men who go to war, die at war." she hissed, jerking away from his gentle touch.
"Not all men." he denied with a shake of his head. She turned her back toward him, hugging herself more for comfort than for warmth. Gabriel stood for a moment in silence, gazing at her profile.
"Goodbye, Jasper." he whispered, fingertips threading through her hair and sliding down to the nap of her neck. She shivered, tugging the shawl closer around her. She reached out blinding, latching a hand onto the railing as his footsteps became faint before disappearing completely. A strangled sob escaped her, hot and salty tears slipping down her cheeks. Sending Gabriel off to war wasn't something anyone in the house wanted to do, yet they all had to loosen the ties that bound him to home. A large hand rested on her shoulder, causing her to jump as she glanced over her shoulder. Matthew stood at her side, gazing out across the landscape, his face devoid of any emotion though his eyes expressed the emotions he was grappling with. Without saying a word, she turned, burying her face against his chest, her tears bleeding through his shirt quickly. Matthew's arm instantly came around her, holding her tightly as she cried out her grief.
"A horse has been saddled for you." Matthew's rumbling voice startled Jasper, causing her to pull away from Matthew. Gabriel met her saddened green eyes with a regretful blue gaze. Gabriel nodded once.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Matthew tried one last time.
"I'm sure, father." Gabriel nodded once again.
"Have you said your goodbyes to your brothers and sisters?" Matthew stepped away from Jasper, thrusting his hands into the pockets of his pants.
"Yes." Gabriel sighed, eyes darting back over to Jasper, who stood worrying her lower lip between her teeth.
"Then you had better get going. Keep in touch, son." Matthew's voice sounded choked as he disappeared back into the house. Gabriel gazed at Jasper for a moment before picking up his saddlebags and striding from the front porch. He walked briskly to the barn where one of the family's horses had been saddled and tied, waiting for him. He strapped the saddlebags onto the rear of the saddle, then hoisted himself atop the horse, grabbing hold of the reins.
Jasper watched with growing dread, part of her wanting to run to him, to tell him anything to stop him from leaving. The other part of her wanted to run in the other direction and grieve for her loss. His departure galvanized her into motion.
"Gabriel!" she called out, rushing down the stairs of the front porch, the shawl slipping from her shoulders, fluttering to the ground as she grabbed hold of her skirt, lifting the material high enough so she could run as fast as she could toward the barn.
"Gabriel!" Jasper called out once again, this time raising her voice. Gabriel quickly dismounted and immediately received an armful of a small slip of a woman. He hugged her tightly to his chest, whispering kisses along her cheeks and forehead.
"Promise me you'll come back, Gabriel. Promise me." she demanded softly, her arms tightening around his neck.
"Not even death could keep me from coming back to you, Jasper." he smiled against her neck, pulling away enough to gaze down at her.
"Thank you." she whispered, her lower lip trembling slightly as tears threatened once again.
"Will you wait for me?" Gabriel lifted an eyebrow, a teasing smile caressing his face.
"Forever." Jasper promised without hesitation, her heart feeling the word.
"Marry me." he almost demanded on a whim, eyes searching her face, almost as if he were memorizing her features.
"What?" she fell back a step, stunned.
"When I return from the war, marry me. We can start our own family together. Have lots of babies." a grin curved his lips, eyes hopeful.
"Savannah won't like this." Jasper mused aloud, worrying her lower lip between her teeth, bringing up the other woman in Gabriel's life.
"Do you seriously think I want a piece of fluff residing on my arm? She would make my life dull, unimaginable. You, on the other hand, constantly keep me on my toes. Constantly arguing with me, no matter whose wrong or right. You also have something Savannah will never have." he shook his head, wrapping his hands around her upper arms so she couldn't turn away from him.
"What could I possibly have that Savannah doesn't? I'm an orphan, I have no living relatives and no wealth to my name." Jasper pointed out with a shake of her head. "I wouldn't make you a good wife, Gabriel."
"You have my heart. My soul, and everything between the two. You are the perfect wife for me. Just say yes." he pleaded softly. She glanced up into his eyes, and fell in.
"Yes." she whispered simply, without thinking. Gabriel grinned, taking her hand in his own, threading their fingers together as he tugged her back toward the house.
"Father!" he shouted as he pushed his way back into the house.
"Good God, Gabriel, what's going on?" Matthew demanded, stepping into the hallway.
"Send for the reverend." Gabriel demanded breathlessly. Matthew glanced from Jasper to Gabriel, a slow smile caressing the older man's face. He nodded once, disappearing through the back door toward the hired hands' quarters.
"Gabriel, we can't do this tonight. I don't have a dress and we don't have rings." Jasper protested weakly. Gabriel stopped the flow of her words with a gentle kiss.
"We have the rings, and the dress - we'll have to do without." he murmured, bringing her hand to his cheek so he could press a soft kiss to the inside of her wrist.
"Nonsense. She'll wear your mother's dress." Matthew negated firmly from the doorway.
"No, I couldn't." Jasper's eyes widened slightly.
"I'll hear no arguments from you, young lady." Matthew wagged a teasing finger at her. "Come with me. Katherine, will you help Jasper ready herself?" he continued, glancing over at the young woman who stumbled sleepily into the room.
"Help Jasper with what, Mr. Donavan?" Katherine inquired, blinking rapidly.
"Help Jasper into the dress Stephanie wore to our wedding." Matthew answered with a smile, urging the two young women toward the stairs. In a flurry of activity, Jasper and Katherine readied themselves for the midnight wedding, Jasper becoming nervous with each passing second.
"Miss Jasper, calm down. This is the moment you've dreamt of for years." Katherine scolded teasingly, watching with amusement as Jasper paced the room in the beautiful orchestrated white gown, lace trimming the bodice, sleeves and waistline.
"This seems too good to be true." Jasper mumbled warily, glancing toward the closed bedroom door. Matthew promised he would fetch them as soon as the reverend arrived at the house.
"Nothing will stop this wedding. We all will make sure of that." Katherine reassured the young woman with a smile. Jasper returned the smile as a knock sounded at the door. The reverend had arrived. The ceremony lasted no more than twenty minutes, both Gabriel and Jasper speaking the vows softly to one another in the candlelight, his younger brothers and sisters hiding in the stairwell, watching their every move. Soon, night passed into morning and the time of Gabriel's departure soon arrived. Jasper watched on from the porch as Gabriel gave last minute warnings to his brothers, telling them to mind well to their father and behave themselves. She fingered the thick silver band on her left ring finger with a small smile, pulling a shawl around her shoulders in the early morning chill. The commotion ebbed slightly when a carriage was spotted coming down the road, and Jasper groaned inwardly upon recognized Savannah Dewitt's family symbol painted decoratively on the side. Gabriel tossed a boyish grin over his shoulder to Jasper, holding out his hand to her as the carriage pulled to a stop. Jasper stepped off the front porch, taking her husband's hand in her own, their fingers instantly threading together as the carriage driver helped Savannah down.
"Good morning, Miss Dewitt." Gabriel called out, giving his young wife's hand a gentle squeeze.
"Good morning, Gabriel." Savannah graced him with a pretty smile, dipping into a curtsy. "The town is abuzz with the information of your departure for the war. And to think, you were going to leave without saying goodbye to me." she pouted prettily.
"My deepest apologies, Miss Dewitt--," Gabriel nodded to her.
"Please, Gabriel, call me Savannah." Savannah admonished playfully, laughing softly.
"My deepest apologies, Savannah, I've been rather busy preparing to leave." Gabriel informed the young woman. Savannah finally glanced to his side, noticing Jasper for the first time.
"Good morning, Jasper." Savannah's voice held a note of disdain as she gazed down her nose at the other woman.
"Savannah, I would greatly appreciate if you would address my wife as Mrs. Donavan." Gabriel's voice rose slightly, the words ringing clearly through the crisp air. Savannah's eyes widened slightly, her mouth falling open in shock. Gabriel lifted the hand joined with his wife's, and pressed a soft kiss atop the newly sensitive flesh. Jasper smiled, a faint blush creeping up her cheeks.
"I must go." he murmured, turning to face Jasper, completely ignoring Savannah as his eyes devoured Jasper's every expression.
"I know." Jasper nodded, firmly shoving the dread filling her to the back of her mind.
"I'll come back to you. I swear it." Gabriel vowed, his hand lifting to caress her cheek. Jasper's eyes fluttered shut as she nuzzled her cheek against the palm of his hand.
"I know."
"I love you, Jazz." Gabriel whispered heatedly moments before his lips captured hers in an exquisite kiss.
"I love you, Gabriel." Jasper called after him as he quickly strode to his horse. He never looked back, and she knew the reason behind the action was, he wouldn't be able to leave her if he did. Jasper stood in the front yard, flanked by the Donavan children and an open-mouthed Savannah Dewitt.
Jasper held a trembling hand to her heart, her finger instantly going to her left ring finger, unconsciously feeling for her wedding ring, heart lurching when she didn't feel the cool metal. She shook her head, clearing her thoughts from the past. Her marriage with Gabriel had been equal parts of happiness and misery.
"You never hinted you were married." Quinn sat back, stunned momentarily.
"It's not something that's easy for me to talk about." Jasper shrugged, smiling wryly.
"What happened to Gabriel?" Quinn questioned.
"I can't tell anymore tonight, Quinnie. Maybe some other night, I'll finish the story. But, right now, it's just too painful." Jasper shook her head, worrying her lower lip with her teeth.
"I'm sorry, Jasper." Quinn whispered, reaching over to give her friend's hand a gently squeeze.
"Such is life." Jasper forced a smile. "How about you? What was your past like?"
"Well, I certainly didn't live hundreds of years ago." Quinn laughed softly with a shake of her head.
"Were you in love?" Jasper inquired through a yawn. Quinn smiled with a nod.
Quinn glanced down at her watch, a slight frown furrowing her brow and turning the corners of her lips downward. A silent niggling fear rattled around in the back of her mind, whispering reasons for various different problems in her life, the most recent one, Jonathan's disappearance. He hadn't been in the class the tow shared earlier that morning, and now he was more than twenty minutes late in picking her up from class. She shook her head with a sigh, pushing the fears to the recess of her mind, mentally chiding herself for thinking the worst. But, with the way he had been talking these past few months, it was hard not to worry. With all the talk of Vietnam and the various protests happening all over the country, the entire nation was up in arms. Most of the young people wanted nothing more than peace, others felt it was their duty to help protect this country and other smaller countries. The adults never seemed to understand why the 'hippies' acted the way they do, and were proud of the young men and women who joined the nations army, air force, navy and marines. Then there was Quinn, caught in the middle of it all, not really a child and not yet an adult. She had still been young when talk of Vietnam first started, and now that she was twenty, things had begun to change. More and more American soldiers were dying every day, and people like Quinn were beginning to lose hope that the conflict would ever end.
"Hey Quinn, what did you think of professor Jenkins' lecture on the economy of today?" Megan called from across the quad as she wandered over to Quinn.
"It was alright. There were some points he didn't make, but other than that, it was groovy." Quinn nodded with a shrug as the other woman came to a stop in front of her.
"Where's Jon?" Megan lifted an eyebrow behind her purple sunglasses, setting her back pack down on the ground.
"Actually, I was just wondering the same thing. I'll see you later, Megan." Quinn forced a smile, hefting her back pack and shrugging it onto her shoulder.
"Stay groovy, Quinn." Megan called after her, waving her index and middle finger in the sign for peace. Quinn gritted her teeth, rolling her eyes. Sometimes Megan did nothing but trounce on her nerves. Quinn bowed her head, thoughts and uncertainties fluttering through her mind as quickly as a humming bird's wings, resting only on one for a moment before moving on to the next. The more terrifying the thought, the longer it lingered in her mind, causing her heart to seize inside her chest. She silently scolded herself for letting her imagination get the better of her, though she couldn't seem to shake the feeling that something was going to happen. Something rather big, and something rather bad. She slipped the key to her dorm room into the lock, pushing the door open before stumbling inside. Her book bag thudded loudly on the floor beside her bed as she sat heavily on the mattress, her elbows propped on her knees and her head resting in her hands. The vague thought of studying entered her mind and she snorted softly, knowing she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything until she found out what was going on with her boyfriend.
The day had been a harder one. After three classes an hour and a half each back to back, she had to work at the book store that night until closing. The only saving grace for the day was that it was Friday and the weekend was so close at hand, she could taste the freedom on her tongue. She and Jonathan had talked about driving into the city and going out to dinner on Saturday night, maybe catching a movie afterwards. With the two of them in classes or work all the time, they barely had any time to see one another. The weekends were different. Both worked on Sundays, but Saturdays were the days they reserved for themselves. Quinn jumped slightly when the phone rang shrilly, interrupting her thoughts. Without thinking, she reached for the phone and brought it up to her ear.
"Hello?"
"Hi sweetheart."
"Hi mom. What's going on?"
"I was just calling to see how you were taking the news."
"What news?"
"You haven't heard?"
"Haven't heard what, mom?"
"You mean, no one's told you?"
"No one's told me what?"
"Have you seen the news yet today?"
"Mom, stop talking in circles and just tell me. I have a headache and I don't really have the time to play guessing games."
"Sweetheart, the new drafts have been announced."
"What does that have to do with me?" Quinn's voice hushed slightly, a slow finger of dread slipping down her spine to wrap around it's base and settle into the pit of her stomach.
"July twenty-ninth; August thirtieth; September first; October fifteenth; November twentieth, and ----- December twenty-fifth."
Quinn closed her eyes tightly, her fingers wrapped around the phone so tightly her knuckles began turning white.
"Quinn?"
Her mother's voice seemed to come from a distance as a low buzzing filled her ears.
"Quinn, sweetheart?"
"I have to go, mom." Quinn mumbled through nerveless, wooden lips.
"Honey, why don't you come home? You shouldn't be alone right now."
"I can't mom. I have a thousand things to do. I have to go."
"He'll be all right."
"I have to go, mom." Quinn reiterated, letting the phone drop from her hand. Before her mother could react and try to call again, Quinn unplugged the phone cord from the phone jack in the wall. She and Jonathan had talked about this very issue months earlier. They discussed what they could do if he were drafted. As much as she pleaded with him, he refused to take what he called the coward's way out and migrate up to Canada where the draft couldn't touch him. Though Quinn knew dodging the draft was a serious offence and illegal, she couldn't help but want Jonathan to take the only route that would keep him alive. If that meant taking up the gauntlet and trying to talk him into going to Canada, that would be what she would do. She swallowed past the initial panic welling up in her throat, holding her hand to her forehead as her thought process seemed to freeze on the one thought. Canada. Slowly, Quinn struggled to her feet on shaky knees. Before anything else happened, she needed to find Jonathan. She glanced up when the door opened, her roommate Liz stepping into the room.
"Quinn? You all right?" Liz inquired immediately upon seeing her roommate's pale complexion and fine trembling.
"What? Yeah. I'm fine. Have you seen Jonathan around?" Quinn nodded distractedly, a strange numbness filling her body as a defense mechanism.
"Last time I saw him, he was at the campus center." Liz gazed at her roommate uncertainly.
"Thank you." Quinn forced a somewhat bitter smile, unable to meet the other woman's gaze. Her mind refused to process the information given to her as she made her way to the campus center located at the center of the entire college campus. She didn't acknowledge the people she passed who called out greetings to her. Instead, she concentrated on nothing but putting on foot in front of the other.
"Quinn." Jonathan's soft voice exploded through the buzzing silence filling her mind. With jerky movements, she turned to face him, eyes wide. Without saying another word to her, he snaked an arm around her shoulders. He pulled her tightly to his chest, his other arm wrapping around her waist. Quinn heaved a tremulous sigh, standing on her tiptoes as her own arms came around him, her palms pressing softly against his shoulder blades.
"Come on. We'll go to my place so we can talk." he murmured softly into her ear, and she shivered slightly when his lips brushed softly against her earlobe. Wordlessly, she nodded, grateful his statement didn't require her to reply. With one arm draped along her shoulders, Jonathan and Quinn strolled the four blocks to his off-campus apartment. Once inside, Quinn flopped down onto the couch, blindly reaching for one of the small pillows resting in the corner of the couch, hugging it tightly to her chest.
"Quinn, don't tear yourself up over this. Please." Jonathan pleaded softly, kneeling on the floor in front of her.
"How can I not tear myself up over this? You've been drafted to fight in a war we shouldn't even be in." Quinn tossed out bitterly, blinking back residual tears. His hand lifted, cupping the side of her neck.
"Things have a funny way of working out. Besides, it's only for a year and a half." he pointed out, trying to ease the worry lines creasing her forehead.
"That's a year and a half too long. Jonathan, so many people are dying over there." Quinn shook her head, lower lips trembling slightly.
"I'm not going to die on you. I promise." he assured her with a smile, thumb sweeping across the sensitive skin of her chin.
"How can you promise something like that? You don't know what's going to happen over there. You don't even know what it's like over there. Don't promise me something like that! If you do, it will just break my heart even more if you break your promise." she exclaimed hoarsely, stumbling to her feet in quick, jerky movements. She swallowed past the burning sensation linger in the back of her throat, breathing deeply to keep from crying.
"Quinn, please. Don't do this." Jonathan pleaded softly, reaching out for her hand. He brought her up short, threading their fingers together and tugged her gently over to him. He lifted her hand to his lips, brushing a soft kiss across her knuckles.
"How can you be so calm?" she inquired, amazement threading through her tone.
"Because I have you here with me. Nothing else matters at the moment." he shook his head, giving her his most charming smile. She felt her knees turn to water and had to latch onto his shoulder with her free hand to keep from slumping to the floor. His hand covered her own, fingertips stroking the soft flesh.
"Come here." he murmured, silent question burning in his eyes. Wordlessly, she sat beside him on the couch, curling against him as his arm immediately came around her tightly.
"You want to hear about our future?" Jonathan inquired softly, his chest rumbling beneath her ear, causing her to smile as the vibration tickled lightly. She nodded, closing her eyes, her heart slowly shredding, knowing the future he was going to tell her might not come to pass.
"I see us getting married in a small church near the coast. The ceremony will be beautiful with all our close friends and family in attendance. After the wedding, we'll go to Greece for our honeymoon." Jonathan smiled as she nuzzled closer to him.
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