*Disclaimer - I do not own any of the members of ‘N Sync (nor would I ever really want to), they belong to their respective owners (which isn’t me). I do, however, own all fictional characters such as Michaela, Devon and Ashley. All plots are original and are my property. Plagiarism is against the law, please don’t do it. Thank you.

Ashley sat at the window, gazing out at the night sky and the thousands of twinkling stars which were muted gently by a couple of almost transparent clouds, wondering when her life would regain the normalcy it once had before her chance encounter with her rapist. It was still unbelievable to her that her entire life had changed in those few short, terror filled minutes. She sighed softly, resting her chin on her hand as she continued to watch the stars, her mind giving her no relief from the memories bogging her down and causing her to become sleepless and restless. She glanced over at the glowing red numbers on the digital clock resting on the bedside table next to her bed. Nearly three in the morning and she hadn’t been able to close her eyes all night. Just when she thought she was starting to get over being raped, something would happen. She’d get a hint of his cologne on the wind, or someone would say something that would remind her and all the feelings and memories would come flooding back to her. During those times, she did her best to act normally in front of everyone. She rested her forehead against the cool glass of the window, closing her eyes for a moment. Ashley knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep before the sun rose. After a moment, she struggled to her feet and wandered over to her computer resting on the desk on the other side of the room. She booted up the computer as she took a seat in front of it. Minutes later, she was connected to the Internet and surfing the information highway. She checked her e-mail, groaning softly when she saw four e-mails alone waiting for her from her mother, who was no doubt worried about her. She passed on those, logging out of her e-mail account and headed toward one of her favorite websites. Just then the telephone rang. Ashley reached across the computer keyboard and picked up the cordless phone.

“Hello?” she murmured softly, wondering who would be calling at this hour of the night.

“I couldn’t sleep and I thought you might be suffering through the same problem.” a vaguely familiar voice stated, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Joe?”

“The one and only.”

“What are you doing calling here this late?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Thought I informed you of that a couple of seconds ago.”

“You did, but, why me?”

“I don’t know. You were the first person to pop into my mind.”

“I’m honored.”

“So, what are you doing?”

“Sitting at my computer, seeing what’s new on the Internet. What about you?”

“Just sitting here flipping through channels on the TV. Unfortunately, there’s nothing worth while on.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, me, too. How’ve you been, anyway. I haven’t seen you since that night at the jazz club and that was over a month ago.”

“I’ve been good. Keeping busy with work. You know, the usual. How’s the tour going?”

“Busy. Busier than it normally is, but we’re all having a blast. I love traveling, so it’s become like second nature to me. And we meet a lot of interesting people.”

“Yeah? Like who?” Ashley inquired as she shut down her computer and wandered over to her bed. She pulled down the blankets and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over herself as she made herself comfortable.

“A couple of fans who made it quite obvious that they’d love to get their hands all over Lance and his person. It was amusing to see that kid’s face turn about a hundred shades of red and pink. I’ve never seen Lance turn all those colors before.”

“Must have been embarrassing for him.”

“Partially. He laughed it off quite nicely, though Justin won’t stop teasing him about it and Chris is constantly mimicking what the girls said.”

“Tell Lance to tell those two to shut the hell up. At least he’s getting offers, which is more than they can say.”

“You know, that is so true. I’ll have to point that out to them tomorrow when we all meet up for breakfast.”

“You do that.”

“Anything interesting going on in Orlando?”

“Not really. Orlando is Orlando. It’s not the same without all the boy bands around, though.”

“Yeah? You missing the Backstreet Boys?”

“Actually, that wasn’t the boy band I was thinking about.”

“Which boy band were you thinking about, then?”

“I dunno. A bunch of guys who call themselves ‘N Sync.”

“Is that so?”

“Actually, yeah.”

“Well, I can honestly say I think about you also.”

“Yeah? And what do you think about me?”

“I’m not sure if I should tell you.”

“Why not?”

“Because you might get a big head.”

“I would not and you know it.”

“All right. The truth?”

“That’s the only way to do anything.”

“Okay. I think you’re beautiful, talented, brilliant and absolutely wonderful.”

“Why are you saying these things?”

“Because they’re true.”

“No, none of that’s true.”

“Yes, Ashley, they are. You don’t see yourself the way other people see you. In my eyes, you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever had the privilege to meet.”

“Joe, please don’t say that.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to because it’s true.”

“Joe, I was raped. You can’t say those things about me.”

“And your reasoning behind me not being able to say those things to you because you were raped? I’m sorry, Ash, but that’s ridiculous.”

“No, it’s not. Joe, you know nothing about me. You don’t know what it’s like to be raped.”

“You’re right, I don’t. But, I’d like to know. I’d like to just talk to you, be your friend.”

“You don’t want to be my friend. A lot goes into being my friend. I have mood swings and get paranoid over the smallest things. Trust me, Joe. It isn’t worth it.”

“It’d be worth it for me. Ash, look, I know you haven’t had the best year. I just want to give you something that’s good about Orlando. I want to show you that not all guys are going to treat you the way that one guy did. Not all guys are jerks. And most of all, not all guys will take advantage of a situation like this. Now, I’m not trying to pressure you into anything, but I do want you to know that I’ll be here for you for anything. Whether its talking, or just sitting in silence over dinner. Whatever it takes, Ashley.”

“Joe, the sentiment is sweet, but I’m just not ready to trust the opposite sex yet.”

“I know. That’s why I said I’d always be there for you. Take your time. Just remember me when you’re ready. All right?”

“All right.”

“And Ash, will you do something for me?”

“What’s that?”

“Next time I pay you a compliment, instead of arguing with me, say thank you.”

“I’ll try.” Ashley laughed ruefully, her voice soft.

“Good. What time is it?”

“It’s almost four-thirty.”

“You better get some sleep and so should I. We both have a busy day ahead of us.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Good night, Ash. Sweet dreams.” Joe murmured softly.

“You, too, Joe.” Ashley replied in kind then pressed the talk button on the phone to hang up. She placed the phone on the bedside table then switched off the light. Ashley curled an arm under her pillow and sighed with a rueful smile. She never would have guessed Joe could be so considerate or so nice. She shook her head slowly, eyes finally closing from exhaustion. It totally slipped her mind that only an hour and a half earlier, she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep at all that night.

“Mike, can I ask you something?” Ashley inquired from her bed, a magazine opened up in front of her, idly flipping through the articles until she found one interesting enough to read.

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?” Mike glanced up from the Dean Koontz book she was reading to level her friend with a friendly gaze.

“What’s with Joe?” Ashley lifted an eyebrow, shifting so her back was pressed against the wall.

“You mean, Fatone?” Mike made a face, marking the page she was on in the book and setting it aside.

“Yeah.” Ashley nodded, grimacing slightly at the shocked look Mike’s face had acquired.

“What do you mean ‘what’s with Joe’?” Mike did her best to hide her smirk of knowledge, folding her arms across her chest.

“He called the other night and talked to me for about an hour and a half. I’m just wondering why.” Ashley shrugged a shoulder, her cheeks flushing slightly because she felt rather childish asking her friend about a guy.

“He did? Huh. Joe’s never been one to talk so long on the phone.” Mike mused, worrying her lower lip with her teeth. Ashley groaned loudly, covering her face with a pillow.

“He’s sweet on you. I’ve known that for a while. Other than that, you’ll have to ask some pointed questions if you want some specifics.” Mike reached for the can of Mountain Dew resting on the table beside her bed.

“What does he see in me?” Ashley finally sighed, folding her hands in her lap.

“I imagine it’s the challenge. He thinks you’re unreachable, which makes you far more interesting than someone who doesn’t play hard-to-get, so to speak. Joe’s a good guy, don’t get me wrong. He has this tremendous heart and he’s always happy and seeing everything in the most brilliant light. He’d give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. But, he’s like that with everyone.” Mike gave her friend a smile.

“He basically said he’d wait until I was ready.” Ashley’s voice was just above a whisper, causing Mike to almost miss the statement.

“Say what?” Mike lifted an eyebrow.

“You heard me.” Ashley grumbled, reaching for the stuffed teddy bear sitting at the head of her bed.

“Now that’s shocking.” Mike laughed, shaking her head slowly. Ashley closed her eyes, sighing deeply.

“I don’t know, Mike. I don’t understand why he’s doing this. I’m not even sure I want to know why he’s doing this. Does he just want to confuse me?” Ashley demanded, cracking an eyelid to gaze at her friend. Ashley sighed once again when Mike shook her head silently, confusion crossing her own face. She closed her eyes again, taking a deep breath, hoping to relax her mind against the turbulent thoughts racing around. Part of her wanted nothing more than to see exactly what Joe wanted from her; the other part of her wanted to stay as far away from him as she possibly could. Emotionally, it wasn’t safe for her to take the tentative step toward him and somehow, she regretted that she wasn’t ready. If anything, she was more unsure of herself than she was with him.

“I’m heading to the store. You want anything while I’m out?” Mike climbed to her feet. Ashley shook her head, giving her friend a grateful smile as she reached for a book to occupy her mind with. At times Ashley thought her mind loved to torture her with memories of the past; to taunt her with images of what could be if she hadn’t lost part of herself through the hands of a cruel man. She closed her eyes, biting her lip to bring herself back to reality. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach causing her to sigh loudly, curling around her teddy bear. In most cases, memories were a good thing, something to treasure from events long since passed; but in some cases, memories were evil, something to fear when you were alone and the lights were out. Memories seemed to work the best at night when all a person wants to do is sleep. Ashley knew this from experience. It was part of the reason why she couldn’t sleep at night. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her soul enough so she could continue with the day.

Joe sat in the bar, gazing around at the people laughing and dancing around him. Drinks were everywhere, resting on the tables, held in people’s hands. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Except him. In fact, he was in a foul mood and didn’t really want to be bothered, which was why he was in a booth near the rear of the bar, nursing his fourth drink of the night. The rest of the guys had told him to go blow off some steam and have a good time because they were tired of dealing with his uncharacteristic moodiness. The stupid part of this whole situation was, he was never in a bad mood. He was always able to see the bright part of everything, but he just couldn’t do it tonight. Something was bothering him and no amount of looking would find the bright spot. The day had started out harmless enough, but one thing after another kept going wrong and the group ended up finding out they wouldn’t be able to go home for a three day break, which was something Joe was relying on. He needed a break. He loved traveling and he loved singing and dancing even more, but he needed a break. He wanted some down time without having to worry about going to an interview or getting his picture taken or having to show up for sound check on time. He glanced up when he noticed a beautiful red head started weaving her way through the dancers, his table her final destination. He sighed, refusing to make eye contact with her, knowing it would only encourage her. The only person he wanted around him at this point was in Orlando and was most likely terrified of him.

“I was watching you from across the room and couldn’t help but notice it looks like you need a friend.” her soft voice and pouty face grated on his already tattered and frayed nerves.

“I don’t need a friend. I’m fine alone, thanks.” Joe forced a smile, keeping his eyes on the dance floor instead of looking at her again. She opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it and instead, sat down opposite him. He lifted an eyebrow, continuing to ignore her the best he could.

“You want to talk about it?” she inquired, lifting her own eyebrow.

“Didn’t I just say I wanted to be alone?” he countered, trying to keep the anger from his voice.

“There’s alone, and there’s alone.” she shrugged, folding her hands atop the table.

“Tell you what, why don’t you go back to where you were standing and keep watching. If I smile at you, then you can make you way back over here. Until then, I suggest you keep watching.” Joe leveled her with an icy gaze. He was in no mood to play games with a girl in a bar.

“Asshole.” she huffed, glaring at him as she stood up so fast the chair she was sitting in tipped over.

“I try.” Joe smiled grimly, returning his attention to the drink sitting in front of him. He couldn’t place a finger on exactly why he was in a bad mood, he just simply was. He finished his drink in one gulp and reached for his jacket. No doubt his rudeness would be all over the town through the town's gossips by morning, but that was the least of his worries. All he wanted to do was get some time alone to think. An image of Ashley fluttered through his mind’s eye, causing him to give a genuine smile to himself. He had enjoyed talking with her three weeks prior and had made it a point to call her, even if it was only for a few minutes each time. He shrugged into his jacket and made his way through the throng of dancers to the front door. He wandered outside, nearly groaning when a cold breeze blasted through him, settling into his bones and causing him to shiver enough to pull his jacket tighter around himself. He bowed his head against the breeze, making his way back toward the hotel. Once in the lobby, he silently debated on whether or not he should return to his room. He wasn’t sure what kind of reception he’d get from his friends and he knew he’d have to apologize, but he wasn’t quite sure of how to go about doing that. He shook his head, deciding to take the stairs, hoping the exercise would do him better than the elevator would. He felt horrible over treating his friend the way he had in the past day or two, snapping at them and generally being a pain. It wasn’t like him and he wasn’t quite sure what to chalk it up to. He knew the others wouldn’t continue to take his attitude, and was thankful they hadn’t beaten on him yet, but he was going through something he couldn’t place a name to. All he knew for sure was it had something to do with Ashley and his inability to reach past her defenses. Normally, any girl he so much as looked at, fell to his feet in a droll mass of hormones. But Ashley was wary, cautious and aloof most of the time, evading all seriously personal questions like the black plague and being all around cool toward him. But he had cracked the armor she had encased herself in, he knew it, could tell by the way she had talked to him on the phone. The walls were slowly crumbling, and now that the bricks were tumbling down around his head, he had no clue what to do next. He didn’t want to screw up with Ashley, because he doubted he’d find another woman like her and that was his biggest fear at the moment. Stupid. She’s not even with you, and here you are, mooning and pining away as if she were your girlfriend. Someone who loved you in return. Wait... when did love enter the picture? The realization startled him to his bones. Given the time, the chance and the opportunity, he could fall in love with her. Had been falling in love with her the whole time. He stopped climbing the stairs when he reached the tenth floor, where the hotel rooms were located, and dropped down onto the top step, brow furrowed in consternation. In all of the girlfriends he’d ever had, love was never even a thought. He enjoyed dating too much to tie himself down to one woman at a time. And now, here he was, thinking about a woman and the possibility of love - and she wasn’t even his girlfriend. Hadn’t even gone out with him once, let alone numerous times in order for these feelings to be validated. He rested his elbows on his bent knees, head hanging forward slightly as his brain tried desperately to process all the information his heart was sorting through. He shook his head slowly. It couldn’t be love he was beginning to feel for her. He barely knew her. Never stopped you before, his mind chided unerringly.

“But love was never an issue with all the others.” he murmured to himself, then flushed upon realizing he was talking to himself in a deserted stairwell after having a few drinks at a local bar. He shook his head, a musing smile tilting the corners of his lips. Chris would love to see this. The Joey Fatone, stumped and terrified of a woman. Talking to himself while trying to scrape past the enchantment of her eyes, her smile and her laugh. He grimaced slightly, an image of Ashley filtering through his mind’s eye, reminding him of the many reason why he was attracted to her, though he couldn’t name one to save his life. The only reason he could think of was, because it was her. He shook his head, wondering if the lack of sleep he’d acquired in the last few days was causing him to go into to a hallucination. It didn’t makes sense, being hallucinations were visual and not emotional. He definitely knew it was lack of sleep that was making him trying to figure thing out the philosophical way. Thinking about them until they drove you stark raving mad. He grumbled loudly, pushing himself to his feet and turning to the door. He gave the doorknob a violent twist, pushing it open before wandering into the hallway. Briefly, he groped in his jacket pocket, looking by feel for the hotel room key. He gave a small sound of victory upon pulling the key in question from his pocket. Without a word to anyone in the hallway, he let himself into his room and shut the door behind him with a sigh. Four pairs of concerned eyes glanced up at him from a card game at the lone table in the room. Without asking, he knew they had been talking about him and his recent moods, vaguely wondering what they had said before he shook his head, shrugging uot of his jacket. Everyone in the group had days where their own moods struck, why should he be any different?

“You get everything out of your system?” Justin was the first to speak, arching an eyebrow as he glanced back down at the cards he held.

“If that’s a polite way of asking me if I’ve blown off my mood, no.” Joe shook his head, sighing tiredly as he rubbed his face. He took a seat at the foot end of an empty bed and watched as his friends mindlessly played a game of cards.

“You going to start talking about it, or do we have to test our ESP skills?” Chris inquired, idly discarding the jack of diamonds.

“There’s nothing to talk about. Just for once in my life, I’m in a bad mood.” Joe shrugged, folding his arms across his chest.

“Trying to make up for lost time?” JC glanced over at his younger friend, curiosity and concern fluttering through his eyes.

“Something like that.” Joe nodded, trying to remain as evasive as he could. He wasn’t sure he could talk about this quite yet without sounding like he was getting senile in his old age. He snorted softly to himself, finally finding a small amount of humor. He was terrified of a small wisp of a girl. He shook his head, turning his gaze to the windows.

“You think he’s finally lost it?” Justin inquired softly, glancing over at his friends, plastering a mock look of worry on his face.

“I didn’t realize he had it to begin with.” Chris snorted, waiting impatiently for Lance to discard so he could take his turn.

“Would y’all let up on the poor guy.” Lance reprimanded, lips twitching with mild amusement. “It’s not his fault he never had it.”

“I’ve had it more than you have, oh great albino god.” Joe snorted loudly, lurching to his feet suddenly. “It’s just no big deal, guys. I’ll get over it. I always do.”

“Doesn’t mean we’re not going to worry about you, man. You’ve never been in a mood like this and it tends to make us question what put you in the mood to begin with.” JC mumbled, glancing up from his own hand of cards.

“I appreciate it, guys. I really do. But this isn’t something I can talk about just yet. I haven’t been able to figure it all out in my mind enough to be able to put into all into words. As soon as I do, though, you will be the first to know.” Joe gave them what he hoped was a reassuring smile. The others watched warily as Joe disappeared into the bathroom, the shower running seconds later. JC turned his gaze to his friends, lifting an eyebrow.

“You think we should push the information out of him?” Justin inquired, discarding the two of clubs.

“Nah, if we do that, there’s a chance it’ll only worsen his mood.” JC shook his head, making a face as he picked up the card Justin had discarded only moments again before smiling triumphantly. “Gin Rummy.”

“How does he do that?” Chris demanded loudly, tossing his cards on the table.

“He has to cheat.” Justin supplied, folding his arms across his chest as Lance began to shuffle the deck of cards for another round of the card game.

“I don’t cheat. I just concentrate on what I have in my hand, and on what y’all put in the discard pile.” JC snickered, waiting for Lance to finish dealing before picking up his cards.

“We ought to take him to Vegas. We’d make a killing.” Chris mumbled, shaking his head before turning a glare to Lance. “Could you have given me a worse hand?”

“Would you like me to try?” Lance countered with a slight smile, glancing down at his own cards and groaning himself.

“That’s it. Lance is never dealing again.” Justin grumbled, trying to decide which card to toss from his hand.

“Back to the matter at hand. What are we going to do about Joe?” JC turned the conversation back to their friend.

“There’s really not a whole lot we can do, other than batten down the hatches and weather out the storm. Things will eventually get back to normal.” Chris stated through a muffled yawn.

“For all our sake, I hope you’re right.” Justin sighed.

Ashley yawned, stretching luxuriously minutes before her alarm clock went off. Saturday mornings were always quiet, something Ashley cherished. Most everyone in the dorm, and the other surrounding dorms, slept in from a long week of classes, work and parties. She reached over to her clock, turning off the alarm before it would go off and wake her roommate in the process. Mike had decided to take the weekend off because she was too tired, physically and mentally, to do her job properly. Ashley snorted softly. She knew the feeling. Constantly running around doing a thousand things at once could take a lot out of a person. She wondered vaguely why everyone did it. The given reasons were obviously to better their lives, to secure their futures, to achieve a degree in the field they wanted to make a career in. But through all of that, college and living the college life was sometimes so exhausting, many students began suffering semester burnout within the first two months of any given semester. She even wondered why she did it. It wasn’t as if she needed the money. Her grandfather had left her with more than enough to live on for the rest of her life. She just couldn’t see herself doing nothing but sit around, dressing in the latest fashions and doing the things the rich and elite do on a daily basis. She shifted, turning to her side so she could gaze out the window, wincing when the sun struck her eyes harshly. Then she jumped when the phone rang.

Mike groaned from her bed, groping briefly on her bedside table before pulling the obtrusive object to her ear. Ashley sighed, shaking her head slowly, wondering why their Saturday morning couldn’t have remained relaxing long enough for Mike to get the sleep she needed.

“This better be good.” she heard Mike grumble, her voice still hoarse from sleep.

“Michaela? Thank God I reached you. There’s an emergency going on here. We need you to come in.”

“I’m not working today.”

“Please, Mike. I’m begging you. Please?”

“Roger, I’m not coming in. Forget it.”

“You know we wouldn’t have called unless we absolutely needed your help. Come on. Be a sport.”

“I am not now, or ever have been, a sport. You, my friend, will get bitch slapped if you don’t hang up and leave me alone.”

“Michaela…,”

“Goodbye, Roger.” Mike grumbled, hanging up the phone before burying her head beneath her pillow.

“Why do they always insist on calling you in on your day off?” Ashley inquired, struggling up out of bed.

“Don’t know.” Mike shrugged her shoulders, nearly screeching when the phone rang again. She sat up quickly, grabbing the phone in one fluid movement.

“Damn it, Roger, I told you no!”

“Um…. who’s Roger?”

“Who’s this?”

“Well, I’m not Roger.”

“I’ve gathered as much. Who are you, then?”

“Mike, it’s JC. I have a problem and I think you might be able to help. Who’s Roger?”

“Why does everyone call me on my day off.” Mike groaned rolling her eyes, tossing a barely amused glance at her friend.

“Cause you’re good at solving problems. Who’s Roger?”

“What’s the problem?”

“It’s Joe. He’s in a seriously bad mood. I thought you might have some ideas as to why he’s in this mood. And who the hell is Roger?”

“Probably because he fancies Ashley.” Mike answered without thinking, then slapped a hand to her forehead, glancing over at Ashley. Ashley just rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

“Are you ever going to tell me who this Roger is?”

“Why do you want to know so badly?”

“I’m curious.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

“Satisfaction brought him back. Now tell me.”

“He’s someone I work with. He called seconds before you and I hung up on him. Happy now?”

“Deliriously. So you think his feelings for Ashley is what’s causing his drastic mood change.”

“More than likely. Think about it, Josh. When a girl you like barely registers the fact you’re alive, doesn’t it kinda piss you off?”

“True. Why isn’t she into him?”

“How the hell should I know? I’m not Ashley.”

“But you are her roommate. What gives?”

“She’s not ready for a relationship. Demons are a hard thing to fight, especially when you see them every time you turn around. When she’s ready, he’ll have a chance. Until then, he’ll just have to remain her friend.”

“Thanks for the insight. We’re going to be in town for a couple of days next month. You two wanna get together with us? Maybe catch a movie or something?”

“I’d have to tell you when you get here, cause I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow, let alone next month. And Ash is the same way. We never plan anything except sleep, cause well, crap happens more often than not.”

“All right, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah. Bye, Josh.” Mike stilled the twitching of her lips with difficulty as she turned to her friend with amusement.

“What?” Ashley demanded, slight wary of the answer.

“Seems Joe’s been in a rotten mood lately. Basically looking as if he were the devil incarnate. I wonder why.” Mike teased gently, lifting an eyebrow.

“How would I know? I’m oblivious when it comes to that man.” Ashley waved a hand in the air dismissive yawn.

“Yeah, and I’m the Pope.” Mike snorted, rolling her eyes as she climbed to her feet. “Somehow, I don’t think you’re as oblivious as you’d like everyone to think you are. I know you’ve been talking to him on the phone quite a bit.”

“He calls me. I can’t exactly be rude and tell him to leave me the hell alone, now can I?” Ashley shot back, sighing heavily.

“True, I’ve never known you to be rude. But, I think you actually want him to succeed in breaking through your tough armor.” Mike grinned, disappearing into the bathroom.

“I do not want him to succeed in anything he does with me!” Ashley yelped, throwing a pillow at the closed bathroom door, Mike’s laughing the only thing greeting her ears. Ashley growled, covering her face with the second pillow on her bed. It wasn’t her fault Joe was in a rough mood.

The tour bus was quiet for once, everyone doing their own thing and basically keeping to themselves. JC and Chris were sitting in front of Chris’s laptop computer, struggling with a song they were both writing; Justin was sitting in the back lounge talking with his little brother about a play-date the younger one had with the little girl down the street; Lance had fallen asleep in front of the television while watching Cartoon Network. Joe sighed softly, hanging up his cellular phone when Ashley didn’t answer the phone in her dorm room. He had left a message for her for the fourth time. She hadn’t returned his call yet, and he was beginning to worry about her, whether or not she was all right. He tossed his phone onto the table beside him, turning his gaze out to the landscape sliding by the window as James drove them to their next destination. In two nights, they would finally be returning to Orlando for a couple of days. Those days weren’t exactly vacation days, but there wasn’t a whole lot planned for the group to do while home. Just two or three personal appearances at various places throughout the city and possibly laying down tracks for their new album if they could get the studio time together.

Joe sighed, covering a yawn with his hand as he slowly climbed to his feet to wander down the hallway to grab something to drink from the refrigerator. He pulled the refrigerator door open, blindly reaching for an unopened bottle of water as he glanced out the window. Once he had the desired item clutched in his hand, he pivoted and sat in one of the chairs next to the windows.

“What’s going on, Superdork?” Justin inquired suddenly, startling Joe out of his thoughts.

“Nothing. Just thinking.” Joe shrugged, giving his younger friend a smile.

“About?” Justin prodded teasingly, taking a seat in the chair opposite him.

“Going home and how good its going to feel being with the family again.” Joe continued with a laugh.

“You’re telling me. I hate not being able to see my brother grow up.” Justin sighed, settling back against the cushions, arms folded across his chest. Joe nodded, giving his friend a sympathetic smile.

“When do we roll into Orlando?” Joe inquired.

“Your guess is as good as mine. Probably later Friday night.” Justin shrugged with a laugh as the tour bus slowed to a stop outside the hotel they would be staying in for the night.

“Not soon enough for me.” Joe grumbled as he climbed to his feet, stretching with a soft groan as his sore muscles protested the movement.

“Ain’t that the truth.” Justin nodded as he followed Joe to the front of the bus, the other straggling along behind them. They grimaced upon seeing a dozen or so girls screaming and holding up signs in front of the hotel, awaiting their arrival.

“Looks like another fun day at the office.” Justin grumbled with a good-natured smile. It wasn’t that the group didn’t adore their fans, it was just sometimes overwhelming to see how much the group mattered to their fans, and almost a little frightening how vocal they could be about their adoration of the group. When the tour bus doors opened and the group emerged from the bus, the screams became louder and more deafening. They smiled, signed their autographs and took pictures with what fans they could before they reached the front doors of the hotel. Minutes later, they were sprawled out in the main room of one of the suites, trying to decide what they would have for a late lunch while the road crew and various other people who traveled with the group went ahead to the venue to set up for the show. They all glanced up when a loud knock sounded at the door.

“You think it’s a fan?” Lance inquired worriedly, gazing warily at the closed door.

“I don’t think so. Staff isn’t allowed to give our room numbers out.” JC shook his head, climbing to his feet.

“That hasn’t stopped anyone before.” Justin snorted, remembering a time when in a hotel when the staff had sold the information of their suite numbers to the person with the highest bid. He shook his head, running a hand through his curls.

“You worry too much, little man.” Chris admonished playfully, reaching for Busta as the little dog yipped and bounced around. Justin rolled his eyes as JC pulled open the door.

“Well, it’s not a fan.” JC mumbled, tossing a smile over his shoulder

“Who is it, then?” Joe inquired, brows rising.

“You wouldn’t believe me, even if I told you.” JC snorted, holding the door open. Four mouths dropped open in surprised shock when Ashley and Mike wandered into the room.

“What are you two doing here?” Joe inquired, secretly thrilled at seeing Ashley again.

“We had a break from classes and decided to take a drive. We ended up here and thought we’d say hello. So, hello.” Mike waved a hand in the air as she flopped down on the couch next to Justin, ruffling the younger man’s curls affectionately.

“Hey, Kayla.” Justin smiled at her as Ashley took a seat in an empty chair near the corner of the room.

“So, you’ve been driving all day?” Joe inquired, eyes returning to Ashley’s smiling, wary face.

“Yeah. I need to get my blood flowing.” Mike laughed, jumping to her feet.

“Which would be why I couldn’t get ahold of you earlier.” Joe mumbled, shaking his head. Ashley glanced over at him, startled.

“I swear to God, Michaela. You know I’m not a club person.” Ashley exclaimed in exasperation, folding her arms stubbornly across her chest.

“Need I remind you that you were the one who stated ‘we need to have some fun tonight’?” Mike pointed out with a slightly devious smile. Ashley rolled her eyes heavenward, tossing her hands into the air.

“I know I said that.” Ashley snapped testily. “I just wasn’t referring to a dance club.”

“Ash, you’ll be well protected. Joe, Lance and Justin are going. So am I. You’ll be safe.” Mike glanced over at her friend as she pulled on a light weight jacket, glancing at her watch.

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” Ashley countered stiffly.

“Then what is it?” Mike prodded gently as she flopped down on her bed for the weekend.

“I just don’t want to go dancing tonight. Is that all right with you?” Ashley demanded hotly, turning a fiery gaze to her friend.

“All right, all right. Forgive me for being a concerned friend. I didn’t know it was such a crime.” Mike held up her hands as if to ward off a blow, her voice becoming cool and reserved. “I’ll let you get back to your silent brooding and leave you alone.”

“Mike,” Ashley sighed, closing her eyes as her shoulders sagged slightly.

“No, forget it. You made it perfectly clear you don’t want to do anything. So, fine. Don’t do anything. But, just a helpful hint, don’t take everything out on me. I’m your friend and I’m only trying to help.” Mike stated stiffly as she pulled open the hotel room door, then disappeared out into the hallway without another word or waiting for a response from Ashley. Ashley sat down on her bed with a heavy hearted sigh, holding her head in her hands. She hadn’t meant to snap at Mike, but sometimes her friend just couldn’t take no for an answer. And she was beginning to hate feeling like a charity case with everyone worried about her mental well being, making sure she was well entertained.

She slowly climbed to her feet, pacing over to the window so she could gaze out at the city night life sprawled out before her. She rested her forehead against the cool glass, closing her eyes. Whenever she put herself in a situation, much like going to a dance club with her friends, she felt strange, as if everyone was watching her and they could tell, just by looking at her, what happened. The dirtiness she felt to her core would intensify, causing her to see things in the shadows that weren’t really there, playing with her mind and toying with her heart. She shook her head, groaning softly. More than anything, she wished she were just a normal woman again.

Ashley turned from the window, sighing softly as she crawled into bed, pulling the comforter over her shoulders when a sudden chill entered her muscles. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. She hadn’t wanted to be alone for the rest of her life, she just couldn’t see herself trusting people, more than anything, she hated that. She closed her eyes, tears trickling down her cheeks as she hugged a pillow to her chest for some form of comfort. After a moment, she stumbled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. Within minutes, she was standing in the shower, the water nearly scalding her skin as she scrubbed soap onto her body. It never ceased to amaze her, no matter how hot the water was and no matter how hard she tried to scrub herself clean, she never seemed to feel clean. Tears slipped down her cheeks unchecked. Blindly, she reached behind her, pressing a hand against the wall before she slowly sat down under the spray. She rested her head in her hands, silent sobs shaking her shoulders.

“Guys, I’m gonna get out of here. I thought I was in the mood, but, I guess I’m not.” Mike mumbled with a shake of her head, glancing down at her watch, sighing heavily. She and her friends had been out for just over an hour, and Mike was too upset to have any fun at all.

“You sure?” Joe lifted an eyebrow, setting the glass he held onto the table.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll see y’all later.” She nodded, grabbing her jacket and slipping it on. Without another word, she wandered from the dance club and made her way back to the hotel. Guilt for getting angry with Ashley dogged her. She shook her head, wandering into the hotel lobby. She rode the elevator up to her floor in silence, wondering what she could possibly say to Ashley to make things right between them again. She let herself into the room she and her friend shared, glancing around with a frown when she didn’t see Ashley, then sighed in relief when she heard the shower. Mike sat on one of the beds, resting back against the headboard. Minutes later, Ashley emerged from the small bathroom, wrapped in a terry cloth robe. Without saying a word to one another, Ashley crawled into the bed beside Mike, resting her head in her lap.

© 1997 hells_fiction@hotmail.com

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page