Mike unlocked her hotel room door and quickly let herself inside. Gus stood guard out in the hallway, making sure nothing would happen to her. Who would have thought a nobody like me wouldn't be able to leave the hotel without a bodyguard. She shook her head as she changed out of the clothes she was wearing and into something more comfortable before turning on the television and flipping through the channels. She flopped down on the bed and curled up under a blanket, suddenly chilled to the bone. Nothing interesting was on, so she settled on one of the movie channels that was playing 'The Object Of My Affection', a movie that she hadn't seen before. David hadn't liked her going to the movies, so she had stopped going. He had ruled her life with an iron fist. She sighed and glanced at the phone with a pang of regret. She wished she could call her father and spill everything to him, but that was an impossible dream. He had chosen her mother over her and that was a hard reality to face and accept. She had a lot to overcome, one of the many reasons why she refused to tell Josh what was going on in her head.
The bathroom door opened, giving her a start. She jumped up from the bed and started backing away when she saw David walking toward her with a smile on his face. Why does he always jump out of the shadows? She shook her head silently, trying to keep as much distance between the two of them as she could.
"What's the matter Michaela? You look like you've seen a ghost." David commented softly as he took another step forward.
"David, why can't you just leave me alone?" Mike whispered, too afraid to raise her voice any louder. What I wouldn't give to still be at the party or at lease here with Gus in the room with me.
"Because, dear, have you forgotten? You are mine." David laughed as he took another step. Mike had backed up all she could, her back now pressed against the wall. She shook her head as David placed a hand on either side of her head, her heart beating so wildly she swore it would beat right out of her chest.
"I left you." she was finally able to manage.
"Yes, but I forgive you and am willing to take you back." he whispered, brushing his lips against her cheek. She shuddered, the taste of bile rising in her throat as she turned her face away from him.
"I'm not going back to you." Mike stated more firmly than she actually felt. David gave her another of his chilling smiles as his hand inched to her necks, his fingertips brushing her collarbone seductively. His hand wrapped gently about her neck and her eyes snapped open.
"Everyone will know whose done this to me. Remember that, David. Everyone will know." Mike told him, gaining more courage as she spoke.
"Oh, I took care of that. You see, there's a suicide note in the bathroom. They'll think you overdosed on your sleeping pills. I'm not the imbecile that you think I am." David whispered in her ear. She closed her eyes praying that someone would think to check on her as David's hand tightened around her neck. Mike closed her eyes, images floating before her as her air supply was abruptly cut off and her oxygen starved lungs cried out with a burning sensation. Her legs were becoming weak, unable to support her for very much longer. Before long, she blacked out.
Talking. Familiar voices. Mike groaned trying to open her eyes. It didn't work. She was in someone's arms, though she couldn't be sure of whose arms held her at the moment.
"Guys, she's waking up." someone called out softly. Moo? She sighed, again trying to open her eyes. She felt as weak as a newborn kitten. She finally got the strength up to open her eyes. She was indeed nestled in Chris's arms and he was looking down at her, his face creased with worry and his eyes dark and stormy.
"Hey Chichi, what happened?" he inquired softly, gently wiping her face with a cool washcloth.
"David." she managed to croak after a minute. Chris's eyes went from stormy to utter fury within seconds.
"I'm going to kill him." he muttered under his breath.
"No, Moo. Don't" Mike shook her head as she climbed into a sitting position. She was still on the floor, but she was surrounded by the faces she had grown to love. Justin and Lance were sitting on the bed, Joe standing in the corner and JC pacing the room, arms folded across his chest.
"What do you want me to do, Michaela? Act like nothing's happened?" Chris demanded as he climbed to his feet.
"Chris, not now. Please? Just let me get my bearings back." she sighed, trying to climb to her feet. Justin stood and helped her to her feet. She almost fell against him, dizziness sweeping over in her in a wave. Justin wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her sit down on the bed. Chris shook his head in anger, leaving the room with a resounding slam of the door. Mike flinched and sighed. She noticed Gus for the first time and he looked guilty. He refused to look at her, only kept his eyes directly ahead. Justin and Lance stood up and disappeared, Joe following them into the other room where Chris was venting by screaming at everyone. She was left alone with JC and Gus, both of whom looked about as friendly as a riled up hornet's nest. She shook her head and stopped abruptly when a sharp pain entered her skull. She groaned softly, holding her head in her hands. JC motioned to Gus, silently asking him to leave the room. Gus nodded and left through the balcony door. JC walked over to Mike and knelt in front of her.
"Here, take these." he suggested holding out his hand.
"What are they?" Mike inquired raising an eyebrow as she eyed the pills in his hand.
"Excedrin Migraine." He answered simply as he took the glass of water off the bedside table and handed it to her. She took the pills and swallowed them with the water, then looked down at him. He almost looks more scared than I do, Mike's mind reasoned irrationally.
"I wish I would have been here to protect you." he stated suddenly as he shifted so he could climb to his feet. Mike grabbed his hand, stopping him from moving further away. He remained kneeling in front of her, not sure of what he should say. Mike's hands timidly reached upward to rest on his cheeks, caressing them softly with her fingers.
"You were." she whispered with a nod. "You were here the whole time. In my memory. You taught me not to be so frightened, though I had forgotten the lesson until my life was threatened."
JC refused to move, scared he would scare her and that was the last thing he wanted to do, so he just remained motionless, cherishing her touch and knowing that it would never happen again. He gazed up into her soft green eyes that held more mystery and depth than anything else he had ever seen.
"I'm not scared of you, Josh. I'm not." she stated firmly, almost defiantly. He nodded, not really believing her, but taking her word for it nevertheless. She leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. He closed his eyes, his heart thundering in his chest. She then kissed his cheeks. His skin felt hot to her lips, almost as if he were blushing. Her lips brushed so softly across his lips he barely thought she had done it at all.
"I'm not scared of you." she whispered again, more for her benefit than his.
"Yes you are." he whispered back, being more truthful than she had been a moment earlier. "You're absolutely terrified of me."
"I don't want to be." Mike sighed, closing her eyes as she rested her forehead against his.
"I know you don't, but you said so yourself earlier. This shouldn't happen. Not when I have to concentrate on my career." JC reminded softly, his heart suddenly contracting painfully in his chest.
"Yeah, how could I forget?" Mike mumbled climbing to her feet. She turned her back to JC and walked toward the bathroom. The pounding in her head had lessened a great deal since she took the Excedrin. JC sighed, closing his eyes. He hadn't wanted it to sound like that to her. He was attracted to her and he did want to be the cause for her smiles, laughter and feelings of safety. But I just can't. Not only would management kick my ass, so would Chris. She's his best friend. JC shook his head as he stood up.
"Are you going to be okay?" he called to her as the bathroom door shut firmly behind her.
"Do you really care or are you just asking that to be nice?" Mike countered sarcastically. JC rested his head against the bathroom door for a moment before disappearing out into the hallway.
Mike sighed, regret at her harsh words filling her. She hadn't meant to say that, but she couldn't help herself. Though she had fought with herself over everything that even remotely dealt with JC, she didn't want to hurt him. She washed her face with cool water then headed back into her room. They would be staying in California for only one more week, then it was back toward the mid-west and the East Coast. Mike flopped down on her bed and held her head in her hands.
JC strolled through the park that he and Mike had danced in, trying to look as inconspicuous as he possibly could. The last thing he wanted at the moment with the given circumstances was being attacked by a mob of screaming girls. He loved his fans, he just didn't want to give them any part of the mood he was in. What you have to do is some serious thinking. And this is as good a place as any. He watched as the people around him bustled through their nightly activities, harried expressions on their faces as the whirled by in a rush.
You could get away with it. Chris does well with Devon, though they fight sometimes but that's just normal. And Lance does it with Rachel. Two of the group have steady relationships and they always seem happier than me. So, why are you so scared to take the plunge? Do you think people will think you're going back on your promise of remaining single? Do you think the fans, when and if they find out, will end up hating you? Why is it that you can't just forget about the responsibility you have and just have some fun for a while. No one's saying you have to spend the rest of your life with her, just date her for a while. See what happens.
JC shook his head, stuffing his hands deep into his pockets. The sun was beginning to rise, giving everything a divine like glow. As if angels had suddenly appeared to paint the landscape beautiful soft colors that would please the eye and bring some comfort into the lonely people of the world. He took a seat on a park bench and watched the sky turn all the brilliant colors he could imagine. Huge clouds helped decorate the canvas of the sky, giving it a more serene quality to it.
You're losing it, JC. You know that the fans won't hate you, and that management will put up little to no fuss. No one will even remember the promise about remaining single and concentrating on your career. Things change everyday, and the people of the world know that. Especially the younger people of the world. So, what's your excuse now, pretty boy?
"Excuse me for disturbing you, but you look like you need some advice." a female voice brought him out of his silent musings. He glanced up and saw an elderly woman dressed in a long, flowing skirt and a mock peasant blouse.
"Yeah, maybe." JC answered with a nod, a crooked smile gracing his face.
"Maybe?" she raised an eyebrow. "The last time I saw that look was when my baby brother was confused over his love life."
"Yeah, maybe. Its just one huge messed up problem that shouldn't be dealt with right now." he shrugged with a sigh.
"You know, the funny thing about problems is, they never go away. Not until you deal with them." she commented, gazing up at the brilliantly yellow-orange sky.
"I'm sorry, you are?" JC glanced over at her, confused by how a person he had never seen before could talk to him like she had known him for years.
"Kayla." she smiled comfortingly. "And you're JC."
"How'd you know?" he inquired, obviously startled.
"You're face is on the cover of so many magazines that its hard not to know who you are. Anyway, would you like to talk about it?" Kayla laughed in amusement.
"I'm not sure." JC shrugged with a sigh.
"Well, then talk about anything that comes to mind." Kayla shrugged, in no rush to find out what was going on through the young man's head.
"This girl, she's amazing. I don't know how to describe her other than that one word. She's been through so much in the past two years that its hard to believe she's only twenty-one." JC started suddenly, causing Kayla to smile knowingly. "I mean, I don't know what I mean. She's one of my friend's best friend, and she's survived an abusive relationship and being disowned by her entire family. But she still has so much love in her heart. She still looks at the world with wonder and awe, though she's a little weary."
"Sounds like you think highly of this girl." Kayla commented with a nod.
"I do, but things just aren't working out. My mind is getting in the way. And her fear is also getting in the way." he mumbled tiredly. He had been up all night, worrying and pacing, finding his heart only to lose it for his mind.
"Her fear. She's scared you'll abuse her?" Kayla raised an eyebrow, turning to face him.
"No. She knows that would never happen, but she's still scared. Of what, I'm not sure." JC shook his head, befuddled by his own words.
"Ah, she's scared of giving herself again. Let me tell you something about the female heart. It holds no depth of mystery, love, compassion and fear. Her soul is as expansive as the galaxy, and her heart as huge as the heavens above you. But once scorned, it closes off completely. It takes a very special man to open her heart and soul again. A man who is patient enough to make up a key as he stumbles along." Kayla stated wisely, her eyes showing the sympathy she felt toward the young man sitting beside her.
"I don't think I'm that man." He shook his head, raking an agitated hand through his hair.
"It doesn't matter if you don't think you are. What matters is if she thinks you are. Does she think you're the one?" Kayla inquired.
"I don't know. Things have happened that I can't explain." JC shrugged with a soft groan.
"Like what?" she raised a curious eyebrow.
"Last night, her ex-boyfriend David tried to hurt her. She was terrified, yet she kept repeating to me that I don't scare her when I know she does. And I know those kisses were out of something other than what it should be." JC's mind wandered back to the early hours of the morning.
"So, she kissed you." Kayla nodded, her brow furrowed in concentration.
"Yeah." he mumbled with a nod.
"I don't believe she is scared of you, just what might happen should you chose to be the one to unlock her heart again. She's been hurt badly, and she obviously regards you highly enough to get that close to you." she sighed with a smile.
"With my career, I can't take proper care of her should I start something more serious. I'm not the type of person who would be able to live with not being there to take care of all the things that...could go wrong." JC shook his head, climbing to his feet.
"Maybe she doesn't want a caretaker. Abusive boyfriends are typically very controlling. So, maybe she just wants a relationship that she would be able to be an independent person as well as a girlfriend." Kayla shrugged.
"Yeah, maybe. I'll have to think about it some more." JC nodded. "Thanks for your advice."
"Remember, the mind knows nothing about the matters of the heart. Follow your heart and it will never steer you wrong." Kayla called after him as he walked away. JC stuffed his hands back into his pockets as he walked back to the hotel, lost in thought. He shook his head at the strange conversation he had held with Kayla. Sometimes, I really wonder about myself.
Mike sat backstage, trying to get in what reading she could while the guys were on stage wowing another hoard of teenage girls and the various older women. This novel was totally engrossing, something that Mike had started nearly three hours ago after finding it in a little used book store that was down the street. She had spent almost two hours in the store while the sound check and rehearsal had been performed. The man who owned the bookstore had been a nice elderly man that reminded her of her grandfather. He had an easy smile and soft, watery blue eyes that held so many secrets that Mike had wanted to stay and talk with him for hours. Instead, she talked with him while she searched through the hundreds of books that had been sold to the bookstore for the past forty years. There were books back as early as the 1700's, which astounded and amazed Mike to no end. She had happily looked at each book that caught her fancy, reading the back to see if the content looked as good as the artistry on the cover.
When she couldn't find a book that suited her taste, she had walked over to the elderly man, whose name turned out to be Jay, and thanked him for letting her wander around his store without her buying anything. He had detained her until he found a book on the back shelf, up on the top, hidden by some old magazines and papers. Jay had pulled down the book and handed it to her with a smile, saying he knew a literary lover when he saw one then gifted her with the book. She had tried to give him some money, but he had flat out refused to take anything from her. He just told her to read the book, it would change the way she thought about things and give her new hope. So, she had taken the book after thanking Jay, then headed back toward the venue to start reading. She had plopped down on the chair three hours earlier and hadn't moved since, not even when the guys came in to relax, change and get ready for the show.
This book could almost be creepy. The main characters being Elizabeth and Scott. Mike shook her head and continued reading. The book had taken place back when the knights of the Round Table had been in full swing and there were kings, queens and all the vicars and such to go with the royalty. Elizabeth was a maiden, a woman who worked in the house she grew up in. Her father had died suddenly, leaving her to the ruthless caring of her aunt and uncle whom abused her heart and soul and in turn, sold her to a man who had beaten and raped her. Scott turned out to be the most sought after prince, being that he was to marry before the year was out or be forced into a marriage he detested. The two had met in a hapless way, he had been racing his horse down the main road and had nearly mowed her over, causing her to sprain her ankle. He had immediately come to her aid, helping her and she in turn fell hopelessly in love with him, though she never truly admitted it to herself. Now that Mike was nearing the ending of the book, she realized that it would not end in the typical way of happily ever after but would instead end in heartbreak. All because Scott had been too proud to admit love for a peasant girl, and Elizabeth because she was scared of being hurt again. Mike sighed, glancing up from the book in her lap when the guys rushed in and grabbed their belongings before rushing out the door. She jumped up from her curled up position and ran after them, climbing onto the bus before the bodyguards climbed in and shut the door. Everyone flopped down on the couches, exhausted from a long day of hard work.
"Where are we headed now?" Justin mumbled, eyes closed.
"San Jose, I think." JC countered with a yawn. Tonight had been more difficult than most because he hadn't gotten any sleep the night before and they had decided to do three encores.
"Ah, right. Interviews, no shows." Justin nodded with a half smile.
"What in the world are you reading?" Chris demanded suddenly, yanking the book out of Mike's hand.
"Like you would care, you don't even read!" Mike growled with aggravation, jumping to her feet to rescue the book from him. Chris held it out of reach, reading the page she was on with a laugh.
"A romance novel? Come on, Chichi, I thought you had more class than that." Chris scolded, wagging a finger in her face.
"What? Its not like I get romance in real life, so I might as well read about someone who is, even if it is fiction." Mike folded her arms across her chest with a sigh.
"You think romance is dead?" JC inquired, raising an eyebrow at Mike.
"I don't think, I know. As chivalry is dead. When was the last time any of you has held a door open for a woman? How about helping her into her chair at dinner? No? Okay, how about giving her flowers?" Mike inquired, tossing her hands into the air. Each of them thought for a moment, not coming up with the answers they had wanted. "I rest my case. Its dead, all of it and if I want to live vicariously through a work of fiction, then Chris, I should be allowed to."
"I can't believe you think chivalry is dead." Chris mumbled with a shake of his head. Mike just rolled her eyes, grabbing the book back from him.
"Someone prove me wrong then." she muttered under her breath as she returned to her seat. Everyone settled down to do their own thing while they waited to get to the hotel in San Jose, though most everyone was a little on edge because of the lack of sleep and the tension that now filled the room. Mike finished the book just as they pulled into the hotel parking lot. Justin, JC, Chris, Lance and Joe all piled off and went to check into their rooms. Mike sat on the couch for a moment, the book still open in her lap, mind in fuzzy from all the reading she had done. She snapped the book closed, somehow feeling like she had lost something. Her vision blurred as her eyes filled with tears. I guess all stories just don't have happy endings. But you've never cried over a book before, why are you crying over this one? Her mind asked these questions all at once and there was only one answer. Because it reminds you of you and Josh. You connected with the characters because they were so much like you and Josh. She shook her head as she climbed to her feet. She placed the book in her bag then headed out to the hotel to check into her room.
JC lounged back on his temporary bed, arms folded behind his head, watching South Park with Chris, Justin and Joe. Lance had gone to bed early with a flushed face and a slight temperature, so in order to get healthy before he got sick, he decided sleep was the best answer. Everyone had taken turns using the showers and now sat around wearing the clothes they would eventually sleep in.
"JC, what's going on with you? You've been acting weird lately." Justin inquired suddenly, turning to face his older friend.
"I don't know what you're talking about." JC shook his head, covering a yawn of exhaustion.
"You have been acting different. Is there something going on that we should know about?" Chris commented thoughtfully.
"When have I ever kept you guys in the dark before?" JC raised an eyebrow at them.
"Well, never." Chris shrugged.
"Alright then, why would I start now?" JC grinned as he closed his eyes.
"Whatever, man, but you are acting different. Preoccupied or something." Joe shook his head. JC didn't answer because he had fallen asleep.
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