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*Disclaimer - I do not own any of the members of ‘N Sync (nor would I ever really want to...I leave that for the people of FANatic.) they belong to their respective owners. I do, however, own all fictional characters such as Mike, Devon, Ashley, Rachel and Carli. Plagiarism is still against the law, please don’t practice it. Thank you.
Fighting Back
The music from the concert hall was beautiful and melodic to everyone’s ears. Softly played by a young woman sitting on a bench in front of a huge grand piano. She looked to be at home in front of the huge wooden beast, and seemed to be able to calm its heart into beautifully played music that could soothe the soul. Her eyes were closed, a small smile on her face as her fingers drifted over the keys, fingertips barely touching the ivory white slabs. It was enchanting, almost as if she were taking you into a dreamworld where all the world’s problems were left behind and a new feeling of hope prevailed. Not many musicians could pull off such a feat. There was hardly a sound in the room beside the lilting music coming from the piano. The reason could be from two contributors. One, no one was in the hall except for the young woman and the five of them; and two, no one wanted to make a sound to interrupt her.
“What’s she playing?” Justin Timberlake, sixteen year old member of the new pop group ‘N Sync, whispered loudly enough so his friends could hear.
“Beethoven’s 13th Sonata. Moonlight, First Movement.” Chris Kirkpatrick, twenty-five years old and the oldest of the group, mumbled with a silencing look.
“She’s really good.” JC Chasez, twenty years old, smiled as he leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. After a few last haunting cords, the music died down and she didn’t continue to play. Chris climbed to his feet with a smile.
“You know Chichi, I’ll never understand why you didn’t go pro on that piano.” he stated loudly, his voice echoing in the concert hall. Her head snapped up and turned toward the sound of his voice.
“Moo?” she laughed as she climbed to her feet.
“In the flesh.” Chris countered as he walked toward the stage. She laughed again and headed toward the stairs. She ran down them and threw her arms around her older brother’s best friend since childhood.
“I thought you were in Germany or something.” she scolded playfully as he hugged her tightly, spinning her in a small circle.
“I was. We just got back to the states for a vacation and I thought I’d stop by and see how you were doing.” Chris shrugged as he set her on her feet again.
“Jordan’s dead.” she told him with a sigh.
“I know, though I didn’t get any of the details. Your mother is still the wonderful person she was when we were kids.” Chris shook his head as he took her hand and placed it in the crook of his arm so he could escort her over to his friends.
“He was doing a routine flight when a couple of MIGS saw him on radar and blew him out of the sky. They said he was flying over enemy air, which doesn’t really make sense because Jordan was a safe flyer.” she smiled sadly as they walked over to four young men standing next to a bunch of folding chairs.
“Wow, I’m sorry Chichi. I know it must have been hard.” Chris gave her hand a tight squeeze.
“Yeah, but I’m slowly getting over it. Jordan is missed, but at least he lead a wonderful life.” she shrugged and gave the others a beaming smile.
“Guys, I would like to introduce to you a good friend of mine. Michaela Costeo, this is Justin Timberlake, Joe Fatone, Lance Bass and JC Chasez.” Chris stated, introducing everyone in the room.
“Hello.” everyone smiled, as she shook everyone’s hands.
“So you’re the poor saps who have to live with Moo, huh?” Mike grinned impishly as she gave Chris a playful shove.
“Uh, Moo?” JC raised an eyebrow.
“You never told them the story?” Mike laughed looking over at Chris who only shook his head miserably.
“I was trying to stay away from it, Chichi.” he admitted honestly.
“What for?” Mike raised an eyebrow.
“Because, oh dear infuriating one, its embarrassing.” Chris groaned as he took a seat.
“Oh, no you don’t. Its been months since I’ve seen you and we’re going out to...” Mike glanced down at her watch. “Dinner.”
“We are? And whose paying?” Chris snorted, folding his arms across his chest with a evil grin.
“You haven’t changed a bit. You are cause I’m broke.” Mike answered with a shake of her head.
“You haven’t changed either.” Chris laughed as he reluctantly climbed to his feet.
“At least I now have a legitimate reason for being broke.” Mike sighed dramatically.
“Yeah? What’s that?” Chris raised an eyebrow as the others watched on with amusement.
“Its called being a college student. We poor saps don’t have any money to our name and are constantly going for days without eating.” Mike laughed as she grabbed her jacket off the floor where she had tossed it on her way to the piano.
“Is this a guilt trip?” Chris inquired as they walked out into the cool afternoon air and headed toward the van Chris had borrowed from a friend.
“I don’t know. Is it working?” Mike laughed jumping on the older man’s back in a piggyback ride.
“Yes.” he hissed nearly tossing her over his shoulder.
“Then yes, it is a guilt trip.” Mike nodded giving the others a wink. JC laughed softly, shaking his head with complete amusement.
“Alright, alright already. Where do you want to eat?” he practically shouted as he unceremoniously dropped her on the ground.
“Umph, Taco Bell. Where else?” she retorted as she sat on the ground.
“Taco Bell, I almost forgot how much you love that place.” Chris laughed as he opened the door for everyone to climb into the back.
“What can I say? I’m easy to please.” Mike shrugged a shoulder as she glared up at the older man. Justin, Lance and Joe all climbed into the back of the van, leaving her sitting on the ground.
“I see your friends have as many manners as you do.” she commented with a roll of her eyes. JC let out a dramatic sigh and held out his hand to her.
“Oh don’t trouble yourself. I wouldn’t want you to strain your back or anything.” Mike shook her head as she pushed herself up off the ground.
“Mike, be nice.” Chris warned ominously.
“Or what?” she raised an eyebrow as she watched JC climb into the back of the van.
“Or no Taco Bell for you.” Chris answered with a satisfied smile as he folded his arms across his chest.
“Okay, I’ll play nicely with the other kids, daddy.” Mike sighed as she climbed into the passenger seat. Everyone talked idly as Chris drove to the fast food restaurant. As soon as he parked, everyone piled out of the van and rushed inside. Once inside and sitting with their orders, JC turned to Mike with a grin.
“So, what’s with this Moo and Chichi stuff?” he questioned and Mike laughed.
“Okay. I had just gotten back from a family vacation in South Dakota. The Badlands were absolutely breath taking, anyway, this elder Lakota woman was talking about how a chichi used to haunt her house. After asking, we found out that a chichi is obviously a ghost. When we got back, Chris, my brother Jordan and I were walking through this pasture to get to another friend’s house and we heard some noises. Well, Chris damn near had a heart attack when something licked him. He started screaming about a ghost and both me and Jordan were laughing so hard we had to stop walking or we’d have fallen over. A few minutes later we heard a moo.” Mike began as she laughed through the first half of the story. Chris groaned and sank further into his seat. “Chris made this totally dumbfounded face and repeated moo in this question. That’s when Jordan and I totally lost it and in between gasping for breath and laughing, we got out ‘he thought it was a chichi and it was really a cow’. From that day on, we gave Chris the nickname Moo. They also gave me the nickname Chichi because I was laughing so hard I kept stumbling over the word.”
“What a story.” Justin shook his head with a smile.
“You’re telling me. You should have been there. It was hysterical.” Mike nodded as she dug into her plate of nachos again.
“Thank you for telling the story, Chichi. I’ll never forget you for this.” Chris smiled as he tossed a balled up napkin at her.
“You couldn’t possibly forget me, even if I didn’t tell the story.” Mike countered with a shake of her head.
“Where’s your brother now?” JC inquired.
“He died last year while doing a routine flight for the Air Force.” Mike shrugged as she crunched into a tortilla chip smothered in cheese, hamburger and refried beans.
“I’m sorry.” JC replied immediately.
“No, don’t worry about it. I’m over it.” Mike shook her head with a smile before she turned to Chris. “How long do I get to see your mug?”
“About a week, give or take a day or two.” Chris answered with a smile.
“Coolness. What do y’all have to do in that time span?” Mike raised an eyebrow, looking from one person to the next.
“Other than making your life a living hell? Not a whole lot, a few interviews but that’s about it.” Chris shrugged.
“Cool, we’ll have to get together tomorrow night. There’s a party at the frat house. Should be interesting to see what happens.” Mike nodded, pushing her tray away from her.
“A frat party? You?” Chris laughed with a look of utter shock.
“Yeah, I know.” Mike mumbled with a shake of her head.
“Mike?” a unfamiliar male voice inquired from the next booth over.
“Yeah?” she replied turning to face the voice. David Caradean sat there with a smile on his face. He was one of the most popular males on campus, being a part of the frat that was giving the party the next night, and also being the quarterback for the college’s football team. He was also the most eligible bachelors on the entire campus. He dated model wannabe’s and various other talented people.
“Did I just hear you say you’re going to the party at the house tomorrow night?” David questioned.
“Yeah, I might. Why?” Mike nodded, not quite sure of what else to say.
“No reason. It’ll be good to see you there.” he shrugged with an approving smile. “I just didn’t think you were a partier.”
“I’m not really.” Mike laughed as she turned to Chris with, ‘oh my God, help me’ eyes.
“Are we ready to go?” Chris inquired climbing to his feet.
“Yeah.” everyone chorused as they headed for the trash barrel.
“I hope you’ll save me a dance tomorrow night.” David called after her.
“She’ll see what she can do.” JC called back with a smile. Mike covered her mouth to muffle her laughter as they walked back out to the van.
Mike sat in her car, unknowing what to do next. This was the biggest decision she had ever had to make, one that would change her life forever and the answers didn’t come easily enough for her. She had pulled over on the Interstate, in front of the huge sign that welcomed road weary travelers to Florida. If she turned back, things would happen that she had no control over. If she continued ahead, she still didn’t have control over the things that might happen, but the future looked much less bleak. The radio played softly in the background causing noise. She couldn’t stand silent places anymore. She closed her eyes, head resting on the steering wheel as tears came to her eyes. Headlights poured into her car, then out as cars passed by.
Loud voices behind the wall
Another sleepless night for me
It won’t do no good to
The police
Always come late
If they come at all
Her head slowly came up as the song played softly through the speakers. Tracy Chapman, one of the various folkish artists that she had come to like sang about domestic abuse and it hit a cord deep within her soul. Her hand rested on the emergency brake and hovered there for a moment.
They say they can’t interfere
With domestic affairs
Between a man and his wife
And as they walk out the door
The tears well up in her eyes
Mike pulled the car back out onto the Interstate and continued south, heading for the sunny state of Florida. She would have more of a chance at happiness there, far from Boston and far from all the hurts and pains that she had suffered through silently for nearly two years. She swiped at the tears that spotted her cheeks as she turned the radio up to it’s top volume and continued driving like a bat out of hell, trying to escape her past and the man she left behind without a word.
Then a silence that chilled my soul
Prayed that I was dreaming
When I saw the ambulance in the road
And the policeman said
“I’m here to keep the peace
Will the crowd disperse
I think we all could use some sleep.”
Last night I heard the screaming
Loud voices behind the wall
Another sleepless night for me
It won’t do no good to call
The police
They always come late
If the come at all
Chris groaned loudly, making a huge production of doing so, as he flopped down on a rolling chair in the recording studio. They had been recording and mixing songs for an album they hoped to have out in the next six months or so, and they had been at it for the past six hours. Granted, he loved his job, but it could take a lot out of a person.
“Come on, old man, its really not that bad. Honest.” Joe grinned as he took a seat, a bottled water held in his hand.
“Not that bad,” Chris scoffed with a shake of his head as JC walked into the room, holding his cellular phone to his ear. “Yeah right. You’re still twenty-one. I, on the other hand, am twenty-seven. Six years old than you.”
“Time for a retirement home already?” Justin inquired with a raised eyebrow.
“Who are you? Aren’t you still wearing diapers or the like?” Chris laughed, ducking as Justin tossed an empty water bottle at him.
“Chris,” JC yelled over the ruckus Joe and Justin now made through wrestling on the floor. “Mike’s on the phone for you.”
“Why is she calling your cell if she wants to talk to me?” Chris made a face as he climbed to his feet.
“Your batteries are dead, gramps.” JC rolled his eyes, tossing Chris the phone. Chris held the phone to his ear as he stepped out of the room so he could hear her voice better.
“Hey little girl, what’s going on?”
“I’m in Orlando.”
“What? Where are you?”
“I don’t know, some gas station about a mile from the city.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Why do you think something’s wrong?”
“Because I’ve known you for about your entire life. I think that constitutes me as knowing when something’s bothering you or not.”
“I’m pretty banged up.”
“What? You get into a car accident?”
“God, I wish. No, I didn’t.”
“Then what? Tell me, Mike.”
“Not over the phone, Chris. Please.”
“Alright. What’s the name of the gas station?”
“No, I’ll meet you in town, just give me directions to where you want to meet.”
“You know where the studio is?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll be here all afternoon with the rest of the guys. Stop by here and we’ll talk.”
“Alright. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“I’ll be waiting.” Chris sighed and hung up the phone. She had sounded strange, almost detached from her emotions. Something was seriously wrong, but he couldn’t place his finger on what it was. He hadn’t really talked to her at great length or detail in quite some time, almost two years. Their conversations generally lasted all of about twenty minutes a month. Not really enough time to keep up with one another, but their friendship hadn’t seemed to have died down in the least. He wandered back into the studio where everyone was waiting on him.
“What did Mike want?” JC inquired, glancing up from the news paper he was reading.
“She’s here in Orlando. Wants to see me.” Chris shrugged with a sigh. He had a nagging feeling that whatever Mike wanted to tell him wasn’t good. They group of men talked idly of nothing for ten minutes, waiting for their guest to show up and finally, she did. She looked tired and harried, her eyes shifting uneasily about the room.
“Hey Chichi.” Chris smiled giving her a hug. She gave a small flinch and reminded herself that Chris was a friend. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Can’t I just visit a friend?” Mike inquired as she sat down in an empty chair. Her right hand was wrapped with an ace bandage, but other than that, she looked mostly healthy.
“No, because its in the middle of a semester and its not like you to ditch class to come see me.” Chris shrugged as he took a seat.
“Alright, you want to know why I’m here?” mike sighed, rubbing her face with the hand that wasn’t wrapped up.
“Yeah, I think we’d all like to know.” JC nodded as he leaned back against the wall, arms folded across his chest.
“Its David. You all know that I was dating him for the past year and a half. One of the biggest mistakes of my life.” Mike began with a shake of her head. “Everything was wonderful for the first six months and then....things started to change, fall apart. The football teams started to lose most of the games played and he would come home all boozed up. He would get so angry at me for not having things perfect when he got back. After a while it changed from yelling to hitting. He made sure all my friends deserted me, trying to monopolize all my time and make me feel guilty about talking or spending time with anyone but him. This happened for over a year until he thought I should stop playing the piano. You know me, I refused, against my better judgement. He made sure that I couldn’t play piano again.” Mike shrugged holding up her right hand with a rueful smile. “He shattered my hand a few months ago. It’s finally healing, but I won’t get back all the dexterity I once had. Which means I won’t play again.”
“Jesus, Mike. Why didn’t you tell me?” Chris shook his head as he climbed to his feet.
“Chris, as much as I love you and as much as I think of you as a brother, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to see the disappointment in your eyes like I’m seeing now.” Mike shook her head as she climbed to her feet. “It was a mistake that I came here.”
Chris stood there, stunned, as she left the room. He had no idea what to tell her, how to react after what she had told him. He watched as JC followed her out into the hallway.
“Mike, hold up a second.” JC called after her, reaching out to take her arm in his hand. He stopped himself when she turned and saw the fear in her eyes. “Hey, its me. I’m not going to hurt you. You know that.”
“Josh, look, he did a number on me. Just please do one thing for me. Don’t try to touch me.” Mike shook her head as Chris stepped out into the hallway.
“You’re staying with me. I’ll give you my room and I’ll take the basement. After you’re settled, we’re going to the police station so you can file a restraining order. Then you’re going to apply to the college here for late admissions. Or, you can go on tour with us for a while and apply for Spring semester. Either way, you’re not going back to Boston.” he told her firmly.
“I didn’t come here to be taken care of.” Mike protested weakly.
“I don’t care. You came here for my help. I’m not stupid, Chichi, just do what I say. Alright?” Chris sighed reaching out to touch her. She flinched and took an involuntary step backwards, away from the touch that so threatened her very sanity. “My God, if he ever shows his face here in Orlando, I’ll kill the bastard myself.”
“I’ve had enough violence in my life to last a lifetime, Chris.” Mike sighed with a shake of her head. JC sighed, head bowed. He didn’t know what to do or how to act, much like Chris had done moments earlier. The redheaded little pixie that he had met two years ago wasn’t even remotely in sight and all because some man had to take his anger out on a woman, smaller and weaker, with his fist. He despised men who abused women in any way and this only worsened his opnion of them all, because it had happened to a friend. Someone who didn’t deserve the light to be taken from her eyes, someone who didn’t deserve to live in fear, someone who didn’t deserve to have her life taken from her the way it had. He sighed silently, wishing there were something he could do to make this just a bit easier for her.
“Here,” Chris dug into his pocket and pulled out his key ring. He took off the house key and handed it to her. “JC, will you tell the others that I’m going to drive Mike to the house and take a cab back?”
JC nodded silently and watched the pair walk outside, into the sunlight and fresh air. He could tell that Mike looked extremely pale, even from a distance. He shook his head, anger leaping into his eyes as he headed back to the sound booth where the others were waiting, no doubt in a stupefied silence. He opened the door and three pairs of expectant eyes settled on him.
“Chris is taking her to the house and coming back in a cab. One rule guys, don’t touch her, don’t try to touch her, don’t make it look like you’re going to touch her and for God’s sake, don’t raise a hand to her, even if you’re joking.” JC commented as he sat down heavily in a chair.
“Is it really that bad?” Lance questioned softly. JC nodded wordlessly, his head resting in his hands.
“I would love to see David one more time, man.” Justin stated in an angry voice.
“Chris said as much, but Mike told him she’s had too much violence in her life to last her a lifetime. I would think that applies to you, Curly.” JC gave a half hearted smile as he climbed to his feet. “We might as well get the rest of our stuff done here while we wait for Chris.”
The others nodded, only grumbling slightly about the newest turn of events in their lives. JC watched as Justin and Joe headed into the sound booth to record their tracks with hooded eyes. He felt really badly for not recognizing the signs. He should have known better, he knew what the signs were; hell, everyone did and yet no one had seen it coming. It had all surprised them and came out of left field. He could honestly say he missed the old Mike, the one that was loud and rambunctious. Someone who didn’t take crap from anyone. Now she was timid and fragile, almost to the point of breaking. He shook his head again, disgusted with the men who felt the had to take their nager out on a woman.
The days were hard, the nights even harder. She hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since she left Boston behind for Orlando, Florida. Don’t lie to yourself. You haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in over a year. She sighed as she tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position where sleep would finally beckon to her. She never found it. In too many places in the room, she could see David lurking just waiting to spring on her. He would get so angry over the most inconsequential things, like his laundry wasn’t folded the way he liked, or dinner was five minutes late. Whatever he was angry with, even if it wasn’t her, he would raise his hand and she would calmly take a lashing that she knew she didn’t deserve. But she loved him and he promised each time that it would never happen again, apologies dripping from his hands in gifts to her. So, she had stayed and pleaded with him to get help. He didn’t listen and he didn’t keep his promises.
Won’t you please take me far away
Now I feel the wind blow outside my door
I leave my woman at home
Tuesday’s gone with the wind
My baby’s gone with the wind
And I don’t know, oh, where I’m going
I just want to be left alone
When this train ends, I’ll try again
I leave my woman at home
Mike crawled out of bed and slipped on her sweat pants, something she had grown accustomed to wearing when she was with David and didn’t feel the need to give up quite yet. She put on a pair of bulky socks and silently padded downstairs to get something to drink from the kitchen and possibly even some ice cream if there was any in the house.
Tuesday’s gone with the wind
Tuesday’s gone with the wind
My baby’s gone with the wind
Train roll on, Tuesday’s gone
Train roll on, many miles from my home
See, I’m riding my blues away
Tuesday, you see, she had to be free
But somehow, I’ve got to carry on
Tuesday’s gone with the wind
Tuesday’s gone with the wind
Tuesday’s gone with the wind
My baby’s gone with the wind.
The house was eerily quiet, even for two in the morning. Usually Chris was up playing some sort of video game on the family room television, muted, or doing something of the like, but he was nowhere in sight. She walked into the kitchen and rummaged around for a glass. After five minutes, she found one. She still wasn’t used to this house yet and probably wouldn’t be for quite some time. Mike debated for a moment, then chose to take a wine cooler from the fridge. She had turned twenty-one months ago, but had never truly celebrated. She poured the liquid into the glass then turned on the little stove light to ransack the fridge, freezer and cupboards for something to munch on. She found a bag of chips and some ice cream. If I’m gonna junk out and die, I might as well die happy. She smiled at the saying she had used since she was a kid as she sat down at the kitchen table with a bowl of Hershey covered Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream and the bag of chips.
I’m taking each day and night at a time
I’m feeling like a Monday but someday
I’ll be Saturday night
The Bon Jovi song ran through her head and she almost snorted. “Why is it that all the good, depressing songs have the days of the week in them?” she inquired softly to herself with a shake of her head. It was pretty ironic, really.
My life’s a bargain basement all the good shit’s gone
I just can’t hold a job, where do I belong
Been sleeping in my car, my dreams move on
My name is Billie Jean my love is bought and sold
I’m only sixteen, I feel a hundred years old
My foster daddy went and took my innocence away
The street life ain’t much better but at least I’m getting paid
“So, is one company and two a crowd in this case?” a familiar voice inquired, fringed with humor. Mike shifted in her seat to see JC framed by the kitchen doorway. She gestured with her hand, silently telling him to join her because she had ice cream melting deliciously in her mouth. He walked in and opened the fridge, grabbed a bottled water then sat down at the table.
“Do you know how long its been since I’ve had ice cream?” Mike sighed with a satisfactory smile on her face.
“I wouldn’t even know where to start guessing.” JC shook his head as he eyed her late night snack. “But that stuff together is likely to kill you.”
“Mmmmm, if I’m gonna die, by God, I’m gonna die happy. It’s been over a year. David never liked ice cream. He was lactose intolerant, therefor I couldn’t eat ice cream either.” Mike sighed with a shake of her head.
It can’t get worse than yesterday
Thursday’s, Friday’s ain’t been kind
But somehow I’ll survive
Hey, man I’m alive
I’m taking each day and night at a time
Yeah I’m down, but I know I’ll get by
Hey, hey, hey, hey man gotta live my life
Like I ain’t got nothing but this roll of the dice
I’m feeling like a Monday but someday
I’ll be Saturday night
“Really? That long?” JC raised an eyebrow. Mike nodded with a sigh. “I don’t believe it.”
“The last time I had ice cream, David gave me a black eye and a bruised jaw. I never ate it again.” Mike shrugged, gazing into the bowl of ice cream sitting in front of her. It had begun to taste like paste on her tongue.
“I’m sorry.” JC sighed quietly.
I want to roll myself away, don’t know if I can
I wish that I could be in some other time and place
With someone else’s soul, someone else’s face
Oh Tuesday just might go my way, can’t get worse than yesterday
Thursday’s, Friday’s ain’t been kind
But somehow I’ll survive
Hey, man I’m alive and taking each day and night at a time
Yeah I’m down but I know I’ll get by
Hey, hey, hey, hey man gotta live my life
I’m gonna pick up all the pieces and what’s left of my pride
I’m feeling like a Monday but someday
I’ll be Saturday night
Saturday night, here we go
Someday I’ll be Saturday night
I’ll be back on my feet, I’ll be doing alright
It may not be tomorrow baby that’s okay
I ain’t going down, I’m gonna find a way
“Don’t be, its not your fault. If its anyone’s fault, it belongs solely to me.” Mike shook her head, stirring the ice cream around the bowl lazily.
“I’ll accept that to a point, but you were scared and the statistics of you leaving the relationship safely weren’t all that good.” JC countered softly and took a sip from the water bottle he held in front of him.
“Tell me, JC, what are you scared of?” she inquired suddenly, startling him.
“Needles.” he laughed as he sat back in his chair.
“No, I mean fears. Things that absolutely terrify you.” Mike shook her head, not meeting his eyes.
“I don’t know. I guess I’m scared of dying without really knowing love. Of being forgotten once I’m gone. I’m scared that my parents won’t be around forever. All the normal fears that most people have.” JC shrugged, his mood becoming somber.
“I fear never being able to tolerate someone’s touch. Of never being able to love anyone again. I’m scared that David screwed me up for all the other men out in the world, and I’m terrified that the next person who has the patience and willingness enough to stick with me through this, will be another David.” Mike replied so softly she almost went unheard. JC sat up straighter in his chair, listening intently to her voice. “God, Josh. I never thought it could happen to me, of all people. The one person who everyone thought was strong enough. If I’m so damn strong, why do I feel so damn weak?”
“Because you’ve been through something that most people haven’t. Someone decided to take it upon himself to beat you on a regular basis, and try to take that spirit you have away from you.” was all JC could answer with.
“Once, just once, I would like to not flinch when someone, anyone, tries to come close to me.” she dropped her spoon with a clang into the bowl of now forgotten ice cream.
“Someday it’ll happen, Mike. Trust me. It will.” JC reassured her softly, resting his hands on the table.
“I’m tired. Just so tired of being strong. So damn tired.” she sighed, eyeing his hands displayed on the table, debating on whether or not she should take one in her hand.
“We’re here for you, Mike. You know that. All of us. Justin, Chris, Lance, Joe and me; we all want to see you through this.” JC told her, not quite sure of what to do with himself. He didn’t want to scare her off and make her crawl back into herself, so he decided to remain motionless.
“I know.” Mike nodded, tears stinging her eyes. “You know, I thought I was all cried out. That a person could only cry so much until they dried up.” she laughed scornfully as she swiped at the tears dotting her cheeks.
“Well, remember this. You can only laugh as much as you cry. And with all that you’ve cried, you’re looking at a bright future.” JC gave her a small smile. Mike climbed to her feet and picked the dish up to place in the sink, the uneaten bag of chips in the other hand. She set the bowl in the sink and rinsed it out, then walked to the counter and placed the bag of chip there for whomever had the desire to eat them.
“Well, I’m going back to bed. Good night, Mike.” JC stated loudly enough for her to hear over the small racket she was making. She turned and watched him walk to the doorway before she called out his name softly. He turned and raised an eyebrow at her in silent inquiry. She walked over to him, apprehension in her eyes. She stopped directly in front of him and before she could lose her nerve, she reached up and hugged him.
“Thanks, Josh.” she whispered as his arms came slowly about her to return the hug.
“No problem. That’s what I’m here for.” he whispered back, shocked to his soul that she had hugged him. She pulled away seconds later, and he felt a moment of regret, but shook it off as he gave her a mock salute and headed for his room. His mind pondered her action as he climbed the stairs. She’s terrified of a man’s touch, yet she hugged you. Why? Lord, stop looking for answers when none are needed. She wanted to let you know that she trusts you to some degree. Yeah, in the seven degrees of Kevin Bacon way. He shook his head, shutting the door o his bedroom quietly. He flopped on his bed and folded his arms behind his head to stare up at the ceiling. Mike had definitely changed. Everyone could see that she was constantly tired, and Chris was forever worrying about it. In fact, Chris worried so much that he practically instructed her that she was going with them when they left for the tour in a week or two. Her feathers had bristled a little bit and she had calmly explained that she had just gotten out of a relationship that was also a dictatorship and she didn’t need another one. Chris had apologized and asked her to join them, saying it would do her a world of good just to travel for a while. In the end she had reluctantly agreed.
I wonder if she knows how to protect herself. Maybe if she learned how to ward off an attack, she would regain some of the confidence she needs to survive through this trauma in her life. I’ll have to ask her the next time we talk. His eyes drifted closed and sleep finally claimed him.
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