"I cannot believe that my name and face were just on Regis and Kathie Lee...Oh my God," Skylar was laughing as she and Kevin talked about what had just happened. Kevin got serious and touched Skylar's face.
"Skylar, you know if we ever get serious that your name will be splashed all over the media. No matter how hard I will try to protect you from the glass bowl life I live someone is always going to find out and publish it."
"I know that Kevin and I can handle that, if and when the time comes," Skylar smiled at Kevin and took his plate. "You all done?" She walked to the kitchen area and cleared off his plate, trying to avoid telling him her true feelings.
Kevin rolled his eyes and put his head back on the headboard. He had tried to lead the conversation to the question that he needed answered but as always Skylar found a way to change the subject. "Skylar, leave the dishes there, they will still be there tomorrow, I want to watch American Pie before the medicine takes effect and knocks me out for the evening."
Skylar wiped her hands on the dishtowel and padded over to the bed. She still had on Kevin's Wildcats sweat shirt and she was wearing his flannel pajama bottoms and wool socks. She crawled into the bed and pressed play on the VCR. She lay her head on Kevin's chest and as they laughed throughout the movie she tried to resist the urge to tell him how much she wanted to make love to him, how hard it was for her not to kiss his lips and tell him that she was falling helplessy in love with him. "Kev?" she waited for a response and when she didn't get one she looked up and saw Kevin sound asleep sitting up. She stopped the movie and gently pulled his body down so that he was lying down. She kissed his cheek and took the quilt with her to across the room and curled up on the old sofa. She reached for her napsack and found her worn journal. She listened to the sounds of Kevin's soft snoring and started to write.
His gentle snoring is putting me to sleep. I am sitting about 10 steps from him and as I watch him sleep, the way his eyes flutter, the way his bottom lip curls and the way his hair falls into his gentle eyes I am faced with the vision of perfect love. I used to sit in my favorite tree and write what I thought my future husband would look like. At one time Corey Haim was my dream man, then George Michael, and now my thoughts are consumed with only one face, the one face that I found that day in the meeting room in Orlando. His dark hair is the hair that my fingers crave to run through, his eyes are the ones that search deep in my soul, his lips are the ones that I could never tire of kissing and his arms are the strong ones that I need to hold me. I long to kiss his cheek and see him smile as he wakes up and sees me standing over him. I want him to reach for my hand and kiss it the way he did that first evening, I want to feel the anticipation as he starts to undress me and sees me naked for the first time. I want to see his eyes light up with pleasure and passion as we mold our bodies into one. Sadly I cannot do these.
You see I am a woman torn between her heart and her head. I am afraid of being hurt but I am also afraid of losing this man because I cannot tell him the feelings that are plaguing me..He fell from the star that I wished on and the heavens sent him to me, how do I tell them that they were wrong, how do I turn my back on the perfect love?
Skylar tossed her journal and curled up with the quilt. She turned off
the
light and listened to Kevin's rythmic breathing and she too was soon
asleep.
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