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I find it so strange to call you that. I went to the museum today with my niece and I became intrigued by the dolphin exhibit. Do you know that when they mate, they mate for life. If their partner should die then they travel their life journey alone. That is the passion that I want. Imagine , God planted in the heart's of dolphins the ability to find true love, the passion that they must have for each other to be able to love one another so much that they would stay alone. God that is intense.
I came home last night and I sat in front of the computer re reading your emails and becoming more and more intrigued by you with each word of beauty that you write. To answer your question I am soon to be 28. I always imagined myself to be married and starting a family by this age. While all my friends are finding true love, getting married and having children I remain married to my career. I know that there is someone that my heart has selected to be my soul mate but I must admit that I am losing patience and wondering if love is really worth all this trouble.
I remain yours,
Dr Lonely Heart
~~**~~
Skylar took her niece to the nutcracker suite, and amidst all the colorful costumes and the wonderful child like music, she felt a sudden pang of lonliness. She couldn't figure out why it had taken that moment to appear, On the way home while Abby talked excitedly about the ballet, Skylar drifted to her last relationship. Ben had engulfed her from the minute that they had met. He was so full of life and wanted so badly to share it with her. She couldn't figure out why she had been so reluctant to settle down with Ben. She remembered the sad look on his face when she had broken it off with him, how he told her that he hoped she felt as miserable as he did at that moment, one day. She now knew how he had felt and she was sorry that she had put someone through that.
She kissed her niece good bye and watched her skip up to her doorway and waved to her brother who opened the door.
~~~**~~
Paging,
Do you ever feel like you are going in a circle that never ends? I spent time thinking tonight about my life and I have found a vicious circle that seems to be the reccuring theme in my life. I always seem to fall hard and then become scared at how close I have become to my partner. I find a reason to break up with them and spend days trying to figure out why. I know I must sound pathetic when I say that but I guess we all have some burden to bear and this is mine.
I am sitting in my study looking out at the city that I have come to hate. It is lightly snowing and all I long to do is go out and make snow angels. Making snow angels is no fun without someone to do it with you, someone who will give you their hand and help you up so that you do not wreck your beautiful creation. I am bundled in my flannel pjs that have become the substitute for warm and loving arms, surrounding my body to keep me warm. I am looking forward to crawling into my empty bed and curling up with a good book. Hmm a romance novel, a single girl's surrogate boyfriend.
I hope this finds you feeling well.
Yours,
Lonely Heart
~~**~~
The show had gone well and everyone was pumped. Kevin had caught a cold while they were touring last month and it was lingering. He blew off going clubbing and headed home to his house. He took a hot shower, willing the hot droplets of water to wash away his tense muscles and the headache that was taking over his head. He wrapped himself in a towel and sat down at his computer. He had not heard from the mystery emailer in a couple of days and he hated to admit it but it was getting him down.
He clicked on his aol and saw that the ladies on the BSB list had been very active. He always laughed when he read the posts about Howie. This girl named Kim Ann was crazy and had the wackiest sense of humor he had ever seen. He had grown to love the emails he got from the list. He knew they would die if they ever found out who he was. They were all wild and wacky and all wanted Howie badly. He made a note to show Howie and let him see the little harem of hootchies that were hot for him.
He grinned when he saw that most of the girls were in their 20s and that they were going to various concerts on their winter tour. He wrote down that Kel, Crissy, Sarah and Dionne were going to the Atlanta concert, he laughed when he heard that Kim Ann, Crissy, Keri, Sarah and a girl named Skylar were going to the PA shows and planning on turning Nick, himself, AJ and Howie into men. "Skylar, why does that unique name sound so familiar?" Kevin thought to himself. He scrolled down and started to read a fic about Howie and a girl who were carrying on a love affair through letters. Kevin smiled as he read it. The girl named Jessi wrote with so much passion and he found himself disappointed that she hadn't sent out more chapters. Kevin felt the familiar fluttering in his chest when he saw that Dr Lonely Heart had sent out two messages.
~~**~~
"You spoiled me tonight, two messages in one evening. Your words are so sincere and they have come to be my solice when I am down.
I too am married to my career, sometimes I think that I would give up all the travelling and the money if I could spend one night in the arms of a woman who would not care about making love, who only cared about being held, a woman who looked up at my face and smiled as I told her how much I loved her, and a woman who would give up everything to spend eternity nurturing our love.
I took my mother to Paris last year and although she is the greatest woman I know, my heart ached to be walking hand in hand, in the city of love, with my soul mate. I have watched my friends get married one by one and although I am happy that they have true love I am often left lying alone at night wondering why I haven't been able to find my soul mate.
Yours in Lonliness
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